Portable Bidet

[richard10012]

I am thinking on bringing this to a festival, is this werid? and would it work?

[blutarsky]

12 minutes ago, richard10012 said:

I am thinking on bringing this to a festival, is this werid? and would it work?

Yes, and no. Lock the thread. 

[CaledonianGonzo]

Let's see that shopping link

[Superscally]

My mate didn't have any bog roll in a long drop. Asked the girl next to him for some. Gave him a single square. Instead of using his pants and binning em, he shook up a bottle of coke he had and sprayed it at his ringpiece. I have no data on the success of this, apart from the fact he seemed happy enough with the result to tell us. 

He's one of the most pre-eminent veterinary surgeons in the country.  

[Mark H]

This is the content I come here for. 

[Punksnotdead]

1 hour ago, Superscally said:

My mate didn't have any bog roll in a long drop. Asked the girl next to him for some. Gave him a single square. Instead of using his pants and binning em, he shook up a bottle of coke he had and sprayed it at his ringpiece. I have no data on the success of this, apart from the fact he seemed happy enough with the result to tell us. 

He's one of the most pre-eminent veterinary surgeons in the country.  

WTF! - surely this results in a sticky arse for a whole weekend? 

[CaledonianGonzo]

1 hour ago, CaledonianGonzo said:

Let's see that shopping link

Still waiting 

[clarkete]

Your only two posts are already classic threads @richard10012
 

Are you always so concerned about toilets and your bum, or are you sweet talking us festival folk?

[Olshansky]

I have a mate who is so disgusted by public toilets he's nearly phobic.  He's been to glasto three times and basically eats a liquid diet and lots of immodium the entire weekend.  

he is constantly joking about how next time he is bringing his own "poop tent". 

[Leyrulion]

Bring a wee bottle for your tent and those 5am urges and to stop the trek to a urinal (or awkward tent flap nudisim) before you actually need to be awake. 

 

Embrace being a bit feral for five days.

[TheDayman]

1 hour ago, Olshansky said:

I have a mate who is so disgusted by public toilets he's nearly phobic.  He's been to glasto three times and basically eats a liquid diet and lots of immodium the entire weekend.  

he is constantly joking about how next time he is bringing his own "poop tent". 

Nearly?

[TheDayman]

This place turns dark after midnight...

[Deaf Nobby Burton]

6 hours ago, Superscally said:

My mate didn't have any bog roll in a long drop. Asked the girl next to him for some. Gave him a single square. Instead of using his pants and binning em, he shook up a bottle of coke he had and sprayed it at his ringpiece. I have no data on the success of this, apart from the fact he seemed happy enough with the result to tell us. 

He's one of the most pre-eminent veterinary surgeons in the country.  

No flys on him, but probably a lot of wasps.

[squirrelarmy]

My mate used to bring a chemical toilet with it’s own private tent. She would take it home again afterwards. 
 

Too much effort, no point carrying shit that you didn’t need to. 

[Supernintendo Chalmers]

I prefer their first three albums 

[Deaf Nobby Burton]

Op missed a trick by not calling himself Richard the 3rd.

[Wanderlei]

I get a friend to have a mouthful of water and spit it upwards at my rectum. A human bidet. It's niche stuff, I admit.

[Ayrshire Chris]

Portable bidet? What, carry it about with you all day? Might take up a bit of space when you set it up on the pyramid field during a headliner and dangerous during an Idles set at the park stage. 

[Superscally]

9 hours ago, Punksnotdead said:

WTF! - surely this results in a sticky arse for a whole weekend? 

You'd think, right? 

4 hours ago, Deaf Nobby Burton said:

No flys on him, but probably a lot of wasps.

🤣🤣

[Crazyfool01]

Maybe they can use it to keep the dust on the paths down 

[marathonsteve]

Maybe you can use it to smuggle some one in without paying. 

[blutarsky]

41 minutes ago, Ayrshire Chris said:

Portable bidet? What, carry it about with you all day? Might take up a bit of space when you set it up on the pyramid field during a headliner and dangerous during an Idles set at the park stage. 

Saves taking a camp chair. 

[Ayrshire Chris]

1 hour ago, blutarsky said:

Saves taking a camp chair. 

Take chair, cut a hole in the seat . Bingo, you’ve have a combined chair and shitter.  And a tartan rug, seen that often enough in the acoustic tent, to hide your modesty 

[stuie]

Are you sure you mean bidet? 😂😂

If so, I’m sure there are some yurts with bidets somewhere! 

[henry bear]

This thread’s a shower of shit