Acts That Will Never Play Glastonbury

[tevaburger]

Maroon 5

[HeyPorter]

They’d be absolutely fine in the old Katy Perry slot but doubt they’d ever get the offer or accept. 

[Bisque]

7 hours ago, Matt42 said:

Do you think K Pop will eventually make its way on the Glastonbury lineup?

Girls Generation, yes please!

[Ayrshire Chris]

Cliff

[addicted2noise]

Green Day, Tyler the Creator, Iron Maiden, Migos, J Cole.

[Matt42]

3 hours ago, Bisque said:

Girls Generation, yes please!

do you reckon any K pop acts would accept a low fee? I imagine they tend to get paid a shed ton

[thesecretingredientiscrime]

4 hours ago, addicted2noise said:

Green Day, Tyler the Creator, Iron Maiden, Migos, J Cole.

Tyler has played. 2013 I think.

[deebeedoobee]

Yello have never played, or at least I don’t think so. They were touring last year. Would love to see them live.

they have THE best burp in any song ever...fact

[Bisque]

7 hours ago, Matt42 said:

do you reckon any K pop acts would accept a low fee? I imagine they tend to get paid a shed ton

Point, would probably charge a lot and maybe even demand all the theatrics too (& probably wouldn’t get Glasto’s low fee, but big exposure on BBC tactic)

[MrZigster]

Jeff Beck for some reason.

Would love to have seen The Sex Pistols.

As OP mentioned, I don't think Eminem is considered suitable by the festival.

[djdavejohnson]

16 minutes ago, MrZigster said:

As OP mentioned, I don't think Eminem is considered suitable by the festival.

Plus by all accounts I've heard his live performances are shockingly bad these days

[dentalplan]

2 minutes ago, djdavejohnson said:

Plus by all accounts I've heard his live performances are shockingly bad these days

Apparently his recent Reading and Leeds sets (whichever one I read a review of anyway) were a tour de force.

I think if he approached the fest willing to play, they’d rightly snap his hand off. But as with many acts mentioned here, Glastonbury doesn’t pay anything close to a fee he’d accept.

[djdavejohnson]

3 minutes ago, dentalplan said:

Apparently his recent Reading and Leeds sets (whichever one I read a review of anyway) were a tour de force.

I think if he approached the fest willing to play, they’d rightly snap his hand off. But as with many acts mentioned here, Glastonbury doesn’t pay anything close to a fee he’d accept.

That could well be the case, I think it was the stadium shows a bit further back that got the terrible reviews, circa 2014 time.

[thrillhouse188]

1 hour ago, djdavejohnson said:

Plus by all accounts I've heard his live performances are shockingly bad these days

I was at Reading when he played in 2013, watched Alt-J instead. Spoke to a few people who watched and the general consensus was that he was pretty poor. I also have a grudge cause the Foals set was ruined but a god awful crowd, everybody in there apparently had no idea who they were and seemed to be waiting for Chase and Status/Em

[FakeEmpire]

I watched Eminem @ Reading in 2013 and it was abysmal.

I had a good time because of the novelty/nostalgia factor but he was technically terrible.  Mostly mimed.

The bits that were live showed that he *can* do it and do it well but, for some reason, he just doesn't seem to bother.

[Doug85]

.....Mariah F*cking Carey 

[thrillhouse188]

6 hours ago, thesecretingredientiscrime said:

Tyler has played. 2013 I think.

Doesn't the UK ban end soon? Hopefully without extension, he can finny gig here again, dying to see Flower boy live

[HeyPorter]

I was expecting nothing in Leeds ‘16 and was watching with a scrutising eye but he absolutely nailed it. All the hits, some (necessary) lip-syncing and he put in a performance. Was convinced he’d phone it in. 

[captainmuscles]

On 2/3/2019 at 6:45 PM, chatty said:

Yeah, so what happened there. They pull out? 

The Chili Peppers pulled out last minute, Glasto were lucky to get Lenny Kravitz to fill the slot, Michael Eavis swore the Red Hot Chili Peppers would never play Glastonbury.

Apparently they pulled out because of Flea's chronic fatigue syndrome, but I have to imagine that was a cover for Anthony's chronic heroin misadventures.

[CaledonianGonzo]

I'm just appalled that RHCP have got a song called Spunky Monkey.

[Wooderson]

The Grateful Dead.

?

[henry bear]

1 hour ago, Wooderson said:

The Grateful Dead.

?

Nearly happened. Pretty sure I read that some members of the Dead went to the farm for a look around, but obviously it didn’t turn into anything.

[Wooderson]

9 minutes ago, henry bear said:

Nearly happened. Pretty sure I read that some members of the Dead went to the farm for a look around, but obviously it didn’t turn into anything.

Yep they did. Had a butchers in ‘72. Michael on record as one of his most wanted/biggest regrets.

[Gnomicide]

Madonna.

[DeanoL]

Bill Bailey - has done in the past but now too big not to cause a congestion issue on small stages and Eavis refuses to countenance comedy on the larger stages.

(Except for INSERT YOUR FAVOURITE PYRAMID BAND HERE obviously)

Edited February 8, 2019 by DeanoL