Not sure whether to post this as it’s a bit self indulgent, but one of my moments was quite personal. I popped into the bar at Williams Green on Saturday early evening and was served by a really lovely bar worker with whom I got into a brief conversation. I couldn’t be 100%, but I was sure we had a ‘moment’. A lovely shared smile and eye contact, for just a beat, before I went on my way.
I’ve become a bit self conscious over the last year or so. Put on a few pounds and haven’t been especially self-confident. I put the ‘moment’ down to wishful thinking, told myself not to be silly, and carried on with my festival.
On Sunday, I popped into the same bar and remembered what happened the day before. I saw her in my peripheral but didn’t entertain doing anything about it to avoid embarrassment. As I was served by someone else and about to go on my way, someone rushed over to say hello - it was her! She said she’ll quickly finish serving then come over so we can chat, which we did - about her work for Shelter, our festivals, who we want to see, etc.
It couldn’t go any further - she was working, I was leaving when her shift ended, plus there with my ex etc. - the stars weren’t quite aligned. But for me it was quite an emotional reminder not to be so damn hard on myself. That it’s not unreasonable to hope to be liked and to embrace it when it happens.
At a future festival maybe I’d give her my number and suggest we keep in touch. For this one, I was just energised by the interest from a beautiful person with a radiant smile.
Fuck it. Post.