"I'm never, ever doing that again!"

[hfuhruhurr]

39 minutes ago, fred quimby said:

um We can though. those who say they can't are lying. Or maybe crap muscles

Yep - in fact it's a sign of being healthy that you can stop mid flow.

This is way more info than you needed.

[fred quimby]

13 minutes ago, hfuhruhurr said:

 

This is way more info than you needed.

says who

[scaryclaireyfairy]

Sorry, I'm just fascinated. Women are pretty aware they should work their pelvic floor regularly. It seems men aren't so much and that's mad. Now I'm wondering if Viagra would be needed in older men if they'd known to do kegels throughout their lives. (I do not expect anecdotes for this!)

[uscore]

Last time I handed a bag of my cash, keys and stuff into the lockups at about 9pm on Thursday night, knowing that I was soon to be far too spangled to look after any of it.

I had the bright idea of photoing my ticket in case I lost it, and spent a good 20 minutes looking for, and panicking about losing, my phone, before remembering it was in the bag of stuff I had handed in.  Checkmate.

[Hawros]

15 minutes ago, Jah_Roots said:

but something i am never, ever doing again - accepting a drink from a stranger.

2009 accepted a drink from neighbour in campsite - 1 hour later was so fucked my mates said i was acting like i didnt know them,  i have no memory at all of Bruce, and i didnt snap out of it until the next morning and i have absolutely ZERO idea of what happened.

2017 accepted a drink from some guy next to me in the Glade waiting for System 7 - no memory of System 7 and woke up the next morning in the church tent with one arm all sliced up where i had presumably fallen over on the metal walkways somewhere. my only memory of the whole night is a blurry single image of having an argument in cineramagedon - and fuck knows how i ended up there because that is about as far away from our camp as it is possible to get.

both of those were truly depressing experiences and led to a lot of regret (in fact one reason i am looking forward to this year so much is to get some kind of closure on the awful way my 2017 festival ended).

dont get me wrong - i like to get mash-up as much as the next guy, but never again from anyone i dont know...

Feel for ya - that kinda regret sticks around. Let's hope you have a great 2019 and put some of those demons to bed.

[Quark]

16 minutes ago, Jah_Roots said:

i'm sure i have loads that i "shouldn't" do - go too hard on weds, get sunburned, take too much stuff, eat things that are too heavy and sap my energy, get pissed off with my mates for no reason and start an argument and storm off only to regret it and spend an age apologising like a total dick, tell everyone i wont get too mashed at night to i can make the most of the day...  shouldnt do... but probably will do.

but something i am never, ever doing again - accepting a drink from a stranger.

2009 accepted a drink from neighbour in campsite - 1 hour later was so fucked my mates said i was acting like i didnt know them,  i have no memory at all of Bruce, and i didnt snap out of it until the next morning and i have absolutely ZERO idea of what happened.

2017 accepted a drink from some guy next to me in the Glade waiting for System 7 - no memory of System 7 and woke up the next morning in the church tent with one arm all sliced up where i had presumably fallen over on the metal walkways somewhere. my only memory of the whole night is a blurry single image of having an argument in cineramagedon - and fuck knows how i ended up there because that is about as far away from our camp as it is possible to get.

both of those were truly depressing experiences and led to a lot of regret (in fact one reason i am looking forward to this year so much is to get some kind of closure on the awful way my 2017 festival ended).

dont get me wrong - i like to get mash-up as much as the next guy, but never again from anyone i dont know...

Ah that's unfortunate. I love sharing my booze with strangers, but if you've had a couple of bad ones I can see why.

I promise that if you have any of my booze you'll be no worse off than I am. Whether that's comforting or not is a matter of opinion

[fatyeti24]

1 hour ago, Jah_Roots said:

i'm sure i have loads that i "shouldn't" do - go too hard on weds, get sunburned, take too much stuff, eat things that are too heavy and sap my energy, get pissed off with my mates for no reason and start an argument and storm off only to regret it and spend an age apologising like a total dick, tell everyone i wont get too mashed at night to i can make the most of the day...  shouldnt do... but probably will do.

but something i am never, ever doing again - accepting a drink from a stranger.

2009 accepted a drink from neighbour in campsite - 1 hour later was so fucked my mates said i was acting like i didnt know them,  i have no memory at all of Bruce, and i didnt snap out of it until the next morning and i have absolutely ZERO idea of what happened.

2017 accepted a drink from some guy next to me in the Glade waiting for System 7 - no memory of System 7 and woke up the next morning in the church tent with one arm all sliced up where i had presumably fallen over on the metal walkways somewhere. my only memory of the whole night is a blurry single image of having an argument in cineramagedon - and fuck knows how i ended up there because that is about as far away from our camp as it is possible to get.

both of those were truly depressing experiences and led to a lot of regret (in fact one reason i am looking forward to this year so much is to get some kind of closure on the awful way my 2017 festival ended).

dont get me wrong - i like to get mash-up as much as the next guy, but never again from anyone i dont know...

Every cloud..

Edited May 3, 2019 by fatyeti24

[Beerqueen]

7 hours ago, fred quimby said:

um We can though. those who say they can't are lying. Or maybe crap muscles

Oh sorry, it was me who said men couldn't and  it was based on a Richard Prior routine many years ago.  I remember asking blokes around that time if it was true and the consensus seemed to be that it was difficult.  So, I have been living a lie all these years.  (not that I thought about it much, honest!)

[Skelts]

2 minutes ago, Beerqueen said:

Oh sorry, it was me who said men couldn't and  it was based on a Richard Prior routine many years ago.  I remember asking blokes around that time if it was true and the consensus seemed to be that it was difficult.  So, I have been living a lie all these years.  (not that I thought about it much, honest!)

You’ve made us all paranoid

I can stop mid stream, am I normal, or weird? Should I see a Dr or phone the Guinness book of records? Should I get a 1l lenor bottle or a 2l? You women think you have it rough.....

[Beerqueen]

Actually now i think about it Jasper Carrott said the same (again many years ago) when he talked about giving a urine sample at the doctor's and saying "well you know how it is, once you start, you can't stop" and having to ask for an additional vessel as he filled the first up.  So that's Jasper Carrott and Richard Prior who can't stop midstream!  Maybe it's just them then?

Maybe we need a poll?

Edited May 3, 2019 by Beerqueen

[K2SO]

I will never ever try to not spend any money at the festival again. In 2017, we tried to take all of our own food and not buy anything there... We ended up sick and hungry. We ran out of food by Friday.

[Robyn91]

One of my first Glastonbury’s I went with my mum, shed already tried the she wee’s and insisted i try one. 

So come Friday afternoon, I’m absolutely busting for a wee and the nearest toilet is the she wee to the left of the pyramid. There’s a fairly big queue however the ladies waiting take pity on my 17 year old self doing an Irish jig and whimpering and let me skip the line. I grab the she wee from the water aid lady and when she asks have I ever tried one before I nod, run and steady myself on the nearest urinal. 

I was so desperate there was no time for dignity so I pull my trousers down to my ankles position my self with one arm and pop the she wee in place and release.

seconds later I hear historical screaming laughing and look around to see what the fuss was. 

I’d accidentally positioned the she wee backwards and was stood half naked with a fountain of p*ss shooting out of my ass, all over the floor, my trousers and anything within a 2ft radius. 

I just spot my mum mutter ffs and walk away like she didn’t even know me. Luckily everyone around found it hilarious and I didn’t get told off. 

However that was the day I learned never to try a new way to pee when your absolutely busting ?‍♂️?‍♂️?

[bigfurbdogg]

Absolutely need to take things a bit easier this year. Last went to a full festival in 2016, tried hitting it as hard as i did in my early 20's and i just couldn't do it. By Sunday i felt absolutely awful, having a massive comedown, the mud/rain definitely didn't help. Felt terrible for a whole week after. 

As much as it pains me to say it, going to have to have a couple of early nights, can't continually cheat my body for 5 days anymore! 

[balti-pie]

@Robyn91 you’re a ledgebag ?????

[Zoo Music Girl]

This thread is brilliant. So many gross stories!

Mine are fairly tame but I will never again:

- Take a wheelbarrow or equivalent. Pushing that bastard across thick mud on Monday morning after no sleep was one of the worst experiences of my life - and then to be told we couldn't take it on the shuttle.

- Decide in the early hours of Sunday with my friend while off our tits that it would make much more sense to stay awake and take the tent down and head straight to the shuttle buses. See above, on a come down, after five days of Glastonbury, pushing that thing with no sleep. We were staying with my mate's mum and it was my mate's birthday. We came home to present opening and a roast dinner. I've never understood that line from the Pulp song more about leaving an important part of his brain in a field in Hampshire while smiling politely for her mum and trying to force down food.

- Get so fucked I have an argument with one of my best friends at Glastonbury that tarnishes a big chunk of the weekend. One of my biggest regrets to have bad blood at my favourite place

- Get so fucked that I get back to my tent and think I've left my bag at the stone circle. Head back out to find it, get lost twice (I was camping in Park Home) and need direction from the stewards, then head back defeated. Open my tent to find it sat there.

Edited May 5, 2019 by Zoo Music Girl

[Zoo Music Girl]

Oh yeah and I would never take cans again (bar a couple of G and Ts). I used to take cans and cans of cider which was impossible to carry. In 2010 we had to stop and beg some nice girls to look after them while we went to pitch and came back for them. Then they all got super warm and were undrinkable anyway so we were giving them away. Waste of time and money. Now I only bring spirits and treat myself to fresh pints (I can afford to more now, true, but I would always end up doing this when I couldn't anyway...)

Did get a friend to bring some cans for me when she drove in 2014 but the trek to the car park to get them again wasn't worth it. That put me off ever driving!

[Woffy]

Marvellous work @Zoo Music Girl !

 

(apart from the argument bit, obvs)

[Zoo Music Girl]

1 minute ago, Woffy said:

Marvellous work @Zoo Music Girl !

 

(apart from the argument bit, obvs)

Thanks! Most of my never agains are from 2009/2010 actually, like to think I've learned a few things since then.

[guypjfreak]

On 4/30/2019 at 10:11 AM, Woffy said:

Following on from some people's horror stories in the 'Exit Strategy' thread, what have you absolutely promised yourself you won't do again at this year's festival?

Mine's pretty boring, tbh.

Other than getting so trollied I missed a headliner, I will never, ever bring a sack truck loaded with booze to save myself making the odd early morning trip back to the car. Lugging that bloody thing to the group's preferred campsite was utterly horrific. Plus i don't mind an early hangover-clearing wander to the car with brekky on the way back. It helps that we get in the Tuesday night queue so i'm always parked as close as possible to the gate.

I'm never doing Glastonbury again.. Done it before and always kills me.... 

Last one 

[Zoo Music Girl]

Oh thought of another one. Never again will I forget that you can get just as badly sunburned hanging out of your tent in the morning as you can walking around the site. Sunburned lips swollen twice the size is not a good look.

[Aragorn]

1 hour ago, Zoo Music Girl said:

Oh thought of another one. Never again will I forget that you can get just as badly sunburned hanging out of your tent in the morning as you can walking around the site. Sunburned lips swollen twice the size is not a good look.

Saves on paying for a good pout

[Zoo Music Girl]

4 minutes ago, Aragorn said:

Saves on paying for a good pout

I could out-Jagger Jagger. Bloody painful though!

[elbongo]

Queuing to get in. No sleep. Stood for 4 hours. Shuffle for 4 hours. Trapped with people I don't know and most I can't stand (over the top excited). 

Done it too many times. Said it'll be the last time last time...

 

 

 

See you all at midnight Tuesday I guess.

[tjchittt86]

Sounds obvious but I shall never ever never nip out to the toilets/butty van etc in my wellies without socks!!

B**T**D of blister on Wednesday with my heel slowly but surely wearing away itself down to the bone.

Sure I went down a shoe size.  

[Beerqueen]

2 hours ago, tjchittt86 said:

Sounds obvious but I shall never ever never nip out to the toilets/butty van etc in my wellies without socks!!

B**T**D of blister on Wednesday with my heel slowly but surely wearing away itself down to the bone.

Sure I went down a shoe size.  

I did this at Farmer Phil's last year but my blister was on my ankle.  Easy to think you can get away with it for a few minutes - like you, I hope I remember it's not a good idea!