Sadly I think my time may be up.
Firstly, this year's Glastonbury was the best I've had. Everything clicked for me. The weather, the company, the drugs, the music, the nightlife...it all came together and made for the best 5 days I've ever had over the last 20 years of going. I really prepped my body for this year. I've been going long enough to know the effort it takes and physically I had no issue after.
However, mentally it was a struggle afterwards. Due to circumstances that I don't really fully understand yet I had some sort of break down last month about 4 weeks after Glastonbury. This wasn't solely down to Glastonbury (or the 5 days in Vegas which I went to a week after coming back from G) more a build up of things over the last year or so. Obviously spending 10 days off my face with hardly any sleep in a 3 week period didn't help.
Very long story short is I went to my GP and now I am going through therapy but the result of all this is that I need to start doing things sober and definitely drug free for a while to try and sort myself out.
Going out and doing things straight is an eye opener to say the least!
So this leads to my problem with going to Glastonbury again. I've always associated Glastonbury with getting spangled and my best times at Glastonbury have always included me being off my tits.
I think I'd like to keep my last memory of Glastonbury as my best.
I know people will say they've done Glastonbury sober and it's no better or worse just different. I like to think I could do Glastonbury sober I just don't know if I want to try. Some things are just best left alone and at the moment I'm fine with that thought.
Way too early to see how my situation will progress but Glastonbury is such a massive part of my life its gonna leave a big hole.
I have got the chance to work next years festival which may be an option. I've always fancied working at the festival and it would definitely take away some of my desire to get on it as soon as I walk through the gates.
If 2019 does turn out to be my last festival at least I'll know it was a vintage year and I certainly won't be sad about not going again. I've had way too many happy times with great friends to be anything but grateful for the last 20 years of Glastonbury.
Onward and upward!