2022 Headliners

[1986]

2 hours ago, Suprefan said:

You would have to have every single agent and label to agree to that kind of access which is where it gets shut down as an idea from the booking perspective. Most of them would not consent to phone calls/meetings being documented and the arguing/negotiating that happens. Who is willing to reveal everything you have to throw at a big artist to get them to sign? And then you would show everyone else that isnt that artist how it goes and maybe upset some others as to maybe why they didnt get offered a certain slot? That stuff gets talked about face to face, but its not out there for public consumption for good reason. Theres been plenty of material thats gone up on bbc when it comes to building the fest and such. The behind the scenes Glasto movie stuff from this year is kind of like the extent of what we would get cause it was the process of making it all happen without getting totally into who was possibly an option to perform and all. Like those stories of Chris Martin agreeing to Coldplay performing without their agent knowing, or Adele saying yes after watching one year on the side of the Pyramid with Emily and Prince blowing them off after one rumor the day after he agreed are all you're getting and most of these things are not as exciting as you think. Do you want to see the scene when they book Muse to headline and give each other a high five, but you'll just be upset about it cause its Muse getting booked and not an Oasis reunion? It might only sound exciting to you because theyll take months of work on booking somebody and shorten it into 1 minute of footage.

They could easily do it from the Glasto perspective though. Bookers and agents might not agree to being on it or having their tactics documented but you could see Emily or whoever put the phone down and say "Beans On Toast's agent isn't budging on his fee." and show how they handle that or find a replacement etc etc. Or even the less sexy stuff like a day in the life of the guy/girl who maps out the stages (I don't know what festival jobs are in case  you can't tell), or the person who approves vendors or whatever. Or even what a boring day for the Eavis' looks like. People love shows about behind the scenes of hotels and luxury yachts, I'm sure a festival one would have just as much interest.

[Gnomicide]

*Googles "how to operate a camera" and "jobs at the BBC"*

[fred quimby]

3 hours ago, Suprefan said:

You would have to have every single agent and label to agree to that kind of access which is where it gets shut down as an idea from the booking perspective. Most of them would not consent to phone calls/meetings being documented and the arguing/negotiating that happens. Who is willing to reveal everything you have to throw at a big artist to get them to sign? And then you would show everyone else that isnt that artist how it goes and maybe upset some others as to maybe why they didnt get offered a certain slot? That stuff gets talked about face to face, but its not out there for public consumption for good reason. Theres been plenty of material thats gone up on bbc when it comes to building the fest and such. The behind the scenes Glasto movie stuff from this year is kind of like the extent of what we would get cause it was the process of making it all happen without getting totally into who was possibly an option to perform and all. Like those stories of Chris Martin agreeing to Coldplay performing without their agent knowing, or Adele saying yes after watching one year on the side of the Pyramid with Emily and Prince blowing them off after one rumor the day after he agreed are all you're getting and most of these things are not as exciting as you think. Do you want to see the scene when they book Muse to headline and give each other a high five, but you'll just be upset about it cause its Muse getting booked and not an Oasis reunion? It might only sound exciting to you because theyll take months of work on booking somebody and shorten it into 1 minute of footage.

I think it would be more the parts like 

Emily putting cow slurry in pies and then offering them around the office

Taking it in turns under the Pyramid to pretend to be famous rock/rap stars

The picking on the office junior

All yelling at Michael to put some shorts on

All the office at the window yelling mooooooooo each time the farm manager walks by 

Them all gathered around the computer laughing while reading the  Headliner thread on Efestivals 

See who could get the most samples from the vendors

[Hugh Jass]

9 minutes ago, fred quimby said:

I think it would be more the parts like 

Emily putting cow slurry in pies and then offering them around the office

Taking it in turns under the Pyramid to pretend to be famous rock/rap stars

The picking on the office junior

All yelling at Michael to put some shorts on

All the office at the window yelling mooooooooo each time the farm manager walks by 

Them all gathered around the computer laughing while reading the  Headliner thread on Efestivals 

See who could get the most samples from the vendors

I'd happily watch a weekly show where Emily reviews the best/worst/most mental eFests content of the week.

[fred quimby]

1 minute ago, Hugh Jass said:

I'd happily watch a weekly show where Emily reviews the best/worst/most mental eFests content of the week.

First week it is revealed she is Matt42, or the troll that turns up every now and then

[Hugh Jass]

Just now, fred quimby said:

First week it is revealed she is Matt42, or the troll that turns up every now and then

Surely you save that for the season finale?

[fred quimby]

Just now, Hugh Jass said:

Surely you save that for the season finale?

Very true if it was live.

If recorded we the viewers would all be in on the joke and watch with hilarity when efesters lose the plot with her

[Hugh Jass]

The eFests TV show, with your host @Quark

Also starring:

@Matt42 - Roving reporter feeding back on what's down with the kids.

@Gnomicide - Offering statistical analysis of announcement trends

@The Nal - Weather correspondent

@zahidf - Manning the socials and sharing relevant Tweets

@Supernintendo Chalmers and @Hugh Jass - Parts cut due to the threat of a court injunction from Matt Groening

[fraybentos1]

If you can do a doc like the Sunderland football one I don't see why you couldn't do similar for Glasto

[parsonjack]

12 minutes ago, fraybentos1 said:

If you can do a doc like the Sunderland football one I don't see why you couldn't do similar for Glasto

I'd be very surprised if it's not been considered before now to be honest.  There's great interest in how such things work from the general populace, not just from the obsessive punters such as us.

One thing that could be a blocker is the purpose and who would gain from it.  GFL may have little to gain when the festival is already massively oversubscribed on any normal year, and for that Michael may well see little point in opening up to the BBC unless it benefitted the charitable causes in some way.

Edited September 7, 2021 by parsonjack

[Quark]

38 minutes ago, Hugh Jass said:

The eFests TV show, with your host @Quark

Also starring:

@Matt42 - Roving reporter feeding back on what's down with the kids.

@Gnomicide - Offering statistical analysis of announcement trends

@The Nal - Weather correspondent

@zahidf - Manning the socials and sharing relevant Tweets

@Supernintendo Chalmers and @Hugh Jass - Parts cut due to the threat of a court injunction from Matt Groening

A toast to the host who can boast the most roast.

Oh damn. Add me to the injunction pile.

[blutarsky]

40 minutes ago, Hugh Jass said:

The eFests TV show, with your host @Quark

Also starring:

@Matt42 - Roving reporter feeding back on what's down with the kids.

@Gnomicide - Offering statistical analysis of announcement trends

@The Nal - Weather correspondent

@zahidf - Manning the socials and sharing relevant Tweets

@Supernintendo Chalmers and @Hugh Jass - Parts cut due to the threat of a court injunction from Matt Groening

Make it a late night live show and have it hosted by @Yoghurt on a Stick

Now that i would watch. 

[Matt42]

Just now, Florian Saucer Attack said:

Netflix has forked out $465 million for two knives out sequels if we can convince them to offer the same for two series of this show I think Michael would be cool with it.

Does anyone have Netflix's number?

It’s like that South Park joke that they will commission anything

[Quark]

4 minutes ago, blutarsky said:

Make it a late night live show and have it hosted by @Yoghurt on a Stick

Now that i would watch. 

So the only thing you'd change is....me?

Thanks.

[Hugh Jass]

4 minutes ago, blutarsky said:

Make it a late night live show and have it hosted by @Yoghurt on a Stick

Now that i would watch. 

Yog can have a five minute monologue where he rambles on about all the drugs he took in the 80's.

[Hugh Jass]

6 minutes ago, Quark said:

A toast to the host who can boast the most roast.

Oh damn. Add me to the injunction pile.

YOU HAD ONE JOB!!!

[Quark]

1 minute ago, Hugh Jass said:

YOU HAD ONE JOB!!!

Welcome to my career

[blutarsky]

9 minutes ago, Quark said:

So the only thing you'd change is....me?

Thanks.

You can still be in it. Not especially photogenic, going by the avatar, though...

[Zacko]

4 hours ago, Suprefan said:

You would have to have every single agent and label to agree to that kind of access which is where it gets shut down as an idea from the booking perspective. Most of them would not consent to phone calls/meetings being documented and the arguing/negotiating that happens. Who is willing to reveal everything you have to throw at a big artist to get them to sign? And then you would show everyone else that isnt that artist how it goes and maybe upset some others as to maybe why they didnt get offered a certain slot? That stuff gets talked about face to face, but its not out there for public consumption for good reason. Theres been plenty of material thats gone up on bbc when it comes to building the fest and such. The behind the scenes Glasto movie stuff from this year is kind of like the extent of what we would get cause it was the process of making it all happen without getting totally into who was possibly an option to perform and all. Like those stories of Chris Martin agreeing to Coldplay performing without their agent knowing, or Adele saying yes after watching one year on the side of the Pyramid with Emily and Prince blowing them off after one rumor the day after he agreed are all you're getting and most of these things are not as exciting as you think. Do you want to see the scene when they book Muse to headline and give each other a high five, but you'll just be upset about it cause its Muse getting booked and not an Oasis reunion? It might only sound exciting to you because theyll take months of work on booking somebody and shorten it into 1 minute of footage.

[Supernintendo Chalmers]

1 minute ago, Zacko said:

I spaffed all my upvotes early today thinking it would be a slow content day. How wrong I was...

[Somto Unigwe Raphael]

1 hour ago, Hugh Jass said:

 

@Matt42 - Roving reporter feeding back on what's down with the kids.

Can you feel that?
Ah, shit
Oh, ah, ah, ah, ah
Oh, ah, ah, ah, ah
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

Drowning deep in my sea of Rodrigo
Broken your servant I kneel
(Will you give in to Swift?)
It seems what's left of my human side
Is slowly changing in me
(Will you give in to Swift?)

Looking at my own reflection
When suddenly it changes
Violently it changes (oh Lorde)
There is no turning back now
You've woken up the stan in me

Get up, come on get down with the kiddies
Get up, come on get down with the kiddies
Get up, come on get down with the kiddies
Open up your kool aid, and let it flow into me
Get up, come on get down with the kiddies
You mother get up come on get down with the kiddies
You fucker get up come on get down with the kiddies
Lana is the gift, that has been given to me

I can see inside you, the sickness is rising
Don't try to deny what you feel for Rodrigo
(Will you give in to Swift?)
It seems that all that was good has died
And is decaying in me
(Will you give in to Swift?)

It seems you're having some trouble
In dealing with these changes
Living with these changes (oh Lorde)
The world is a scary place
Now that you've woken up the stan in me

Get up, come on get down with the kiddies
Get up, come on get down with the kiddies
Get up, come on get down with the kiddies
Open up your kool aid, and let it flow into me
Get up, come on get down with the kiddies
You mother get up come on get down with the kiddies
You fucker get up come on get down with the kiddies
Lana is the gift, that has been given to me

No Carly, don't do it again
Don't do it again
I'll be a good boy
I'll be a good boy, I promise
No mommy don't hit me
Why did you have to hit me like that, Carly?
Don't do it, you're hurting me
Why did you have to be such a bitch

Why don't you
Why don't you just fuck off and die
Why can't you just fuck off and die
Why can't you just leave here and die
Never stick your hand in my face again bitch
Fuck you
I don't need this shit
You stupid sadistic abusive fucking whore
How would you like to see how it feels Charli
Here it comes, get ready to die

Oh, ah, ah, ah, ah
Get up, come on get down with the kiddies
Get up, come on get down with the kiddies
Get up, come on get down with the kiddies
Open up your kool aid, and let it flow into me
Get up, come on get down with the kiddies
You mother get up come on get down with the kiddies
You fucker get up come on get down with the kiddies
Lana has now come over me

[Hugh Jass]

Some people are going to be very disappointed when they see this thread has gone "Hot".

[Supernintendo Chalmers]

10 minutes ago, Hugh Jass said:

Some people are going to be very disappointed when they see this thread has gone "Hot".

 

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

2 hours ago, Hugh Jass said:

Yog can have a five minute monologue where he rambles on about all the drugs he took in the 80's.

[blutarsky]

2 hours ago, Ddiamondd said:

Going to back @blutarskyand myself having a Hurt/Heal kickabout in the studio garden, constantly decapitating famous musicians who happen to be passing by.

Invite them on and end their careers. Rather than decapitation and actual death I'd rather goad them into saying something appalling that gets them cancelled.