Article on Girls Festival vulnerability

[tarw]

8 minutes ago, Mich1268 said:

I found it pretty challenging taking my 16 year old son as I was worried about him doing something daft. The good thing was he couldn't get served but then could ask someone couldn't he...it's the usual, don't take anything offered. Be wary of free drinks. Phone must always be on and charged. I also told him he had to be back by 1am. But that's just me. I felt once he is 18 he is free to do whatever but whilst I have charge of him. He has to take on board some safety rules, otherwise homeward bound because I would spend whole time worrying about him. She sounds sensible though. I am sure it will be ok though.

I think that we are getting away from the original topic of females being vulnerable at festivals here. 

I would say that I always thought that my job as a parent was to give my children the skills for adulthood. And part of that was giving them as much freedom as they were able to have with as much of a safety net as possible. I’d say that as a parent you are best able to judge

[Tranquility of Solitude]

37 minutes ago, zico martin said:

Taking the family for the first time this year which includes my 16 year old daughter and her best friend. Whilst we could insist on them being with us the whole festival, in reality I don't expect to see them much more than once or twice a day, any tips?  I was thinking of having a word with the campsite stewardship keep a special eye out or is that just daft?

Guess it's about getting the balance right. She's a sensible kid and we want her to have some freedom but i do worry obvs

I share your concern, and no, you are absolutely not being daft in any way. I’ve taken my daughter a couple of times, and am doing so again this year. As she gets older (she too will be 16 at this years festival) more and more she will want some independence from her old man. 

This thread has been both a depressing read, and yet an inspirational one as well at times. Of all the places your daughter will experience in her young life, I am convinced that Glastonbury is one of the safest, and is full of the most beautiful people. As others have said though, there’s always going to be scumbags. They’ll all be male.

I have shown this thread to my daughter, and talked to her about it. Hopefully in a way that makes her aware and sensible, but without being cowed. Perhaps you have considered showing it to your daughter? My daughter has the slight advantage over yours of having been a couple of times before so knows her way around, but as long as your daughter is aware of where to seek guidance/help safely in the extremely unlikely event she needs it, I am sure she will be fine and will have the time of her life. She will be experiencing it for the first time.... I actually envy her that!

i don’t know your daughters likes/tastes in music, but Kylie/Miley/Billy Eilish and Years and Years is just part of a fab line up for my girl.

PS I know it descended into chaos last time it was used, with shouts of bullying etc, so fair play to all for avoiding the use of the phrase “respect the females”. But I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist. Shoot me.

 

[frostypaw]

12 hours ago, barkley87 said:

This is separate to the...debate...that's been going on tonight, but there's a trick I use to help me feel a bit safer in my tent at night that might benefit other ladies on here too (if you are still here):

Once you're in your tent clip the two zips on the inside of the door to the sleeping area together. I use a food bag clip like this. That way, if anyone tries to get in from the outside the zips won't actually open the door. Hopefully as most sexual predators are opportunistic that will put them off and they'll just leave. 

Felt this was worth a repeat as I like this - it's much safer than the often suggested lock which won't be easy to undo in any hurry, but just as secure really in a fabric dome.

After an unintentionally sober year I saw a bit more of this than I realised was going on in what had been drunken stupor. Luckily the arseholes are usually relying on people being wrecked and not noticing so they steer off once they realise someone's recognised what's up.

Party yes, but look out for each other should come first. Takes seconds to check someone's ok and happy with what's going on, the lack of doing it can last much longer. Think a bit of girls sticking together is great - 'the lads' will stick up for each other and too easily forgive each other's not-so-accidental bad moments - it's only fair even if it's a sad thing it has to be so. Glastonbury reflects real life and the battle's not over yet.

[TheDayman]

On 6/7/2019 at 7:14 PM, MetaKate said:

I've spoken before about the tall bloke who poked me in the shoulder blades for a few minutes before I realized what was going on. (I'm very short, he was very tall, and had an exposed erection out in a dance tent) After being told repeatedly to fuck off, by me, by my Male friend, he still would not, and we had to leave as he was following me through the tent and it became more that just a guy acting fucked up bc he was fucked up. 

I tend to do a lot of things alone, in life, travelling, and at the festival. Im just glad I was with friends at that point. 

Most of the festival I feel safe, but I'm always aware of myself and others, especially when I'm alone, as there are some bad ones lurking round. 

What the f**k???

I wouldn’t consider myself a aggressive person but my god if I saw someone doing that to someone else I would absolutely see red!

[guypjfreak]

3 hours ago, muddyslingbax said:

There can be a lack of boundaries wherever you are; work, social settings and yes EVEN Glastonbury. Be aware and consider your safety at all times.

There's lots of things i'm hoping for at this years festival but the top 2 are no rain and a glimpse of the naked man with the nice arse running around the festival. Only looking, no touching. I couldn't catch him anyway. 

 

Lolol I hope you get both....

But if I was to say that I wanted to see the naked lady with the nice arse running around but was only looking not touching I believe some on here would take offence to that.. 

BUT I think OK personally.. I have seen A man who was running around the pyramid stage field.. He got to the top and the old bill got him lol

[Skelts]

4 hours ago, zico martin said:

Taking the family for the first time this year which includes my 16 year old daughter and her best friend. Whilst we could insist on them being with us the whole festival, in reality I don't expect to see them much more than once or twice a day, any tips?  I was thinking of having a word with the campsite stewardship keep a special eye out or is that just daft?

Guess it's about getting the balance right. She's a sensible kid and we want her to have some freedom but i do worry obvs

Just a bit of practical advice. Write your phone number on her wristband with a sharpie. Just in case. Phones can get lost. I can barely remember my own number, never mind anyone else’s!

Actually, I think they offer this in the kids field if she wants to keep her glasto wristband ‘original’. Think they have additional wristbands for this purpose?

[zico martin]

5 minutes ago, Skelts said:

Just a bit of practical advice. Write your phone number on her wristband with a sharpie. Just in case. Phones can get lost. I can barely remember my own number, never mind anyone else’s!

Actually, I think they offer this in the kids field if she wants to keep her glasto wristband ‘original’. Think they have additional wristbands for this purpose?

Thanks think I'll be doing something like that, though I suspect she wouldn't entertain going anywhere near the kids field!

[Skelts]

5 minutes ago, zico martin said:

Thanks think I'll be doing something like that, though I suspect she wouldn't entertain going anywhere near the kids field!

Yeah, you might have to detour there yourself and grab one! I know what 16 year  girls are like, my daughter is nearly 19 now and still wouldn’t go near the kids field! #waytoocool 

[august1]

I think its lazy journalism to say this is a festivals problem, its a society problem of which festivals are a part of. To lay blame at festival goers and festivals themselves is odd. Highlight the issue for awareness but even the article states that people generally feel safe at festivals.

Do more people proportionally get assaulted more and unwanted attention at a festival than in city centres on a normal weekend? I doubt it. 

Similar to saying that football has a racism problem, needs to be addressed as a society as whole not one segment of it.

[stuartbert two hats]

21 hours ago, gherkin8r said:

I don't think I used the term sexist although Im not sure of that. My overriding point was that I felt that such an arrangement was unhelpful to the cause. A cause I am completely onside with by the way. 

Sexism is discriminating on the grounds of gender which a female only venue is by definition. 

The problem is, as much as you clearly abhor the behaviour of the sex attackers, you fundamentally don't seem to be listening to how women feel about the situation.  Which proves their point about not being taken seriously.  If your reaction to being told that women don't feel like men are taking them seriously is to immediately contradict them... Do you see the problem here? Do you see how dismissive this is?

[ravermum]

38 minutes ago, zico martin said:

Thanks think I'll be doing something like that, though I suspect she wouldn't entertain going anywhere near the kids field!

Hi ? Your wife is probably all over this stuff but, in case it’s helpful, some tips for her:

Don’t split up when it’s just the two of you

Don’t take anything anyone offers you, no matter if they try to make you feel bad for refusing (this often happens)

If you go into a crowd, keep your drink in a sealed bottle - if it’s in a cup, drink it before you’re in the crowd

Make sure your phone’s fully charged each morning

If someone’s making you feel uncomfortable, it’s not you it’s them, make an excuse or just walk away, if they follow you, approach someone in a high-vis tabard, or even someone at the sound desk etc in a smaller venue

If you think you are being followed, stop, go to a food stall or shop, if they are still following you, tell the person in the shop

If you meet up with new people, only hang out with them in public areas

If someone touches you inappropriately, get away from them and, if you are able to, point them out to security 

If you go into a large crowd, assess who you are standing near

If all else fails, shout for help

Most people are kind and helpful and will lend you a hand, so don’t suffer in silence if someone is harassing you

She will have a brilliant time. Lots of people (me included) watch out for others and keep a weather eye on them if we think it’s needed. Glastonbury is full of people like that. 

You could consider camping in Wicket too? There are families with teenagers in there, as well as families with younger kids.

[WStoner]

On 6/7/2019 at 6:27 PM, bexj said:

Its very prevalent sadly, and not just men to women either. 

This is true.  At Glasto 2017 I was stood outside my girlfriend's tent in Pennards at about maybe 0600?  It was around the time most people start heading back from the naughty corner as the sun's rising etc.  I was coming down but probably still quite wired and some guy came up to me and propositioned me.  I politely told him I wasn't interested and trying to be a bit jokey about.  He grabbed me and forced me into the tent.  Luckily my girlfriend and her friend were already inside asleep so they were woken up by the commotion.  The guy obviously leaped up and ran off but goodness knows what would've happened if I'd been on my own.  I'm not especially weak but I was pretty off my face.  Men are awful.    

[zico martin]

17 minutes ago, ravermum said:

Hi ? Your wife is probably all over this stuff but, in case it’s helpful, some tips for her:

Don’t split up when it’s just the two of you

Don’t take anything anyone offers you, no matter if they try to make you feel bad for refusing (this often happens)

If you go into a crowd, keep your drink in a sealed bottle - if it’s in a cup, drink it before you’re in the crowd

Make sure your phone’s fully charged each morning

If someone’s making you feel uncomfortable, it’s not you it’s them, make an excuse or just walk away, if they follow you, approach someone in a high-vis tabard, or even someone at the sound desk etc in a smaller venue

If you think you are being followed, stop, go to a food stall or shop, if they are still following you, tell the person in the shop

If you meet up with new people, only hang out with them in public areas

If someone touches you inappropriately, get away from them and, if you are able to, point them out to security 

If you go into a large crowd, assess who you are standing near

If all else fails, shout for help

Most people are kind and helpful and will lend you a hand, so don’t suffer in silence if someone is harassing you

She will have a brilliant time. Lots of people (me included) watch out for others and keep a weather eye on them if we think it’s needed. Glastonbury is full of people like that. 

You could consider camping in Wicket too? There are families with teenagers in there, as well as families with younger kids.

We'll be coming in from gate D so are planning on south park 2 which I hear is ok?

[tarw]

2 minutes ago, WStoner said:

This is true.  At Glasto 2017 I was stood outside my girlfriend's tent in Pennards at about maybe 0600?  It was around the time most people start heading back from the naughty corner as the sun's rising etc.  I was coming down but probably still quite wired and some guy came up to me and propositioned me.  I politely told him I wasn't interested and trying to be a bit jokey about.  He grabbed me and forced me into the tent.  Luckily my girlfriend and her friend were already inside asleep so they were woken up by the commotion.  The guy obviously leaped up and ran off but goodness knows what would've happened if I'd been on my own.  I'm not especially weak but I was pretty off my face.  Men are awful.    

I am a man. Please don’t tar me with the same brush as that scum. People who prey on others whether they are preying on men women young or old are scum. We ALL need to fight scumminess 

[ravermum]

5 minutes ago, zico martin said:

We'll be coming in from gate D so are planning on south park 2 which I hear is ok?

I’ve never camped there but someone else will be able to advise ?

[stuartbert two hats]

11 hours ago, gherkin8r said:

Woman says men don't care about women

Man says men do care about women

Everyone jumps on man

 

Woman says men don't listen to woman.

Man doesn't listen, everyone calls him out.

Man gets pissy.

[gherkin8r]

Don't have the energy chum.

Stay safe

[Spindles]

Seriously dude.  Let it go.  You are doing yourself no favours.

[jfaragher]

23 hours ago, scaryclaireyfairy said:

My mate was cutting home through Silver Hayes a couple of years back and saw a young woman off her chomp stumbling around on her own. Mate changed course so she could check chick was ok. Before she got to her, 2 young men stopped and started chatting to her... [snip] ... There's a good chance there was nothing at all sinister going on and everything would have been fine but what if... Those guys might have been mildly offended if they were sober enough to see how my mate read the situation but that's just how it is.

I'm a man, and have had my interactions with another woman 'checked on' much like you did in this situation.  My first instinct was to be a bit offended - can't they see that I'm not one of 'those guys', that I was worried about the woman's welfare?  A short period of reflection later,  I realised that I might have been the checker rather than the checkee (?) in another situation (and have been), and I should have been pleased that another man was taking the time to make sure that everything was OK.

I guess a necessary consequence of a culture where people look out for each other more  is that we're all going to get checked on a bit more often, and we need to take this in good grace, because even if it's #notallmen*, we have no easy way of identifying not *this* man...

*Important note:  I think this is the only time that I have used this phrase, and I feel slightly unclean even using it in this context.

Edited June 10, 2019 by jfaragher

[guypjfreak]

It'll be a sad day when men feel that they can't go out of their way to check if a girl is OK...

Its like children in a park nowadays.. If said child falls over years ago you would have automatically gone to pick up the child and see if they were OK..

Now you don't.. You look around to see if they have mum or dad around... Whether you realise it or not you do stop for a second... And think not my child shouldn't touch/help 

As its going this will go for women as well which is sad.. 

Just my opinion BTW 

[Casper86]

Ffs.. every time a discussion like this arises you can always guarantee one 4chan "whatabout men/not all men" weirdo feels the need to derail a serious and real conversation and make it about him and his own insecurities.

As a man, I never understand the defensiveness of these types of men feeling the need to justify themselves and getting offended whilst refusing to see an POV, personally I don't take offence as I'm well aware my own conduct is perfectly fine and know I'm not the intended target, so why feel the need to be the hero and spokesman for the male gender..?  WE KNOW IT'S NOT EVERY MAN and the women experiencing these types of assaults or incidents know this too. 

We know this is usually 95% men on women, I've seen it from experience in my 16 years of going out to clubs, bars, festivals etc. it's still prevalent and although the real offenders are the minority, the dismissal of women's fears, allegations and general disrespect that skirt the boundaries then the numbers are much higher imo.

You only need to venture onto social media platforms to realise that sadly misogyny and dismissal of female's concerns is still deeply ingrained amongst a large portion of men. 

Edited June 10, 2019 by Casper86

[The_Amazing_Oblong]

Just an idea (108db);

https://www.decathlon.co.uk/safety-whistle-orange-id_8286413.html?gclid=CIHKxvPS3uICFSEL0wodQS4Efg

Just don't go blowing it at 5am in the tent when munted..

Edited June 10, 2019 by The_Amazing_Oblong

[dentalplan]

On 6/9/2019 at 1:29 AM, barkley87 said:

Once you're in your tent clip the two zips on the inside of the door to the sleeping area together. I use a food bag clip like this. That way, if anyone tries to get in from the outside the zips won't actually open the door. Hopefully as most sexual predators are opportunistic that will put them off and they'll just leave. 

Not 100% sure how this works or if it would with my tent but this seems like an awesome idea in general for preventing theft.

[scaryclaireyfairy]

7 minutes ago, dentalplan said:

Not 100% sure how this works or if it would with my tent but this seems like an awesome idea in general for preventing theft.

It's usually advised against for theft cos then the thief will just theoretically slit your tent and you've lost your wallet and a functioning tent. Also if you need to get out fast while not-sober and half asleep, eg in a fire situation, having your zips locked together would be a very bad thing.

Edit: It's not something I've done in recent years but tying something noisy to your zips on the inside can make you feel more secure. Even if it's just a couple of empty cider cans.

Edited June 10, 2019 by scaryclaireyfairy

[CeriG]

There has been occasions from my younger days that I thought nothing of it back then because it was just the "norm" and something females had to put up with in those days. I look back now and it was soooo wrong that people thought they could act this way. I remember when I was 19 some bloke yanked my skirt and knickers right down on the dance floor. It was hilarious to him and his friends. I never complained, just left to avoid being near that group.

I like to believe that the majority of people these days know what is acceptable and unacceptable behaviour.  Unfortunately there are still a small minority of people that still live 20 years ago. I think the best thing that we can do is keep pointing out unacceptable behaviour rather than putting up with it.... as well as being vigilant to what's going on around you.