Festival Problems

[dingbat2]

 

i always wanted to incorporate this idea - leave no trace

 

Oooh, I like that, I can see 130000 of them queuing at the gates to get in on Wednesday morning revving their engines. Then the race to Pennards. Carnage

What could possibly go wrong?

 

[Purple aki squat]

A lot of the festival goers wear the same outfit. Young blokes in vests.

this is a problem 

[stuwilky]

 

Dave Gahan Clapping Bollocking - cocked the quote up sorry.

Even Justin Bieber told a crowd off for it.  Im not sure how I know that. 

Edited November 6, 2015 by stuwilky

[Untz]

Clap you fucker!

No. Also no Mexican waves or having half the audience shout one thing while the other half shout another.

In fact, just get rid of the crowd. Sorted.

[fatyeti24]

I found that your 'other' band were shit headliners in 2010.

It was also very hot that year.

absolute devostated that i missed Dr Alban in 2010 now.  i didn't even know he was there! FML

[gerardfenton18]

or "Alban"

Simon and Theodore!!!!!

 

[balti-pie]

Make my beer cold. Not lager cold, but ale cold - so kind of cellar temperature, please. Essentially I want a beer cellar under my tent, but accessible by me from any area of the festival. A tunnel system with badgers to move things around (while keeping it all pleasingly cool) would be quite apt 

[russycarps]

so this fucker comes on this website, passive aggressively demands we cough up our ideas - which we do without complaint - then the lowlife doesnt even come back and say thank you? What breathtaking arrogance.

I'm sick and tired of people draining me of my good ideas. Sucking on me like I'm a tit that dispenses beer.

Sick of it.

 

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

You could design a cardboard tent / shelter with a plastic coating similar to this one (which has already been invented).

 

Only yours would have a built in ground sheet of plastic coated cardboard to make it completely watertight. It would also be bigger than the one shown which would allow for two people and all their kit. On top of that there would be the kudos of having invented an appopriate cardboard festival tent which if discarded could far more easily be recycled than a normal tent. Fuck me you could be the next James Dyson. You could sell it to governments for their disaster / refugee type thingies in hot countries abroad. Mind you they'd be no getting away from it that you stole my idea and pretended that it was your own. You'd leave me behind for dust wouldn't you Alban?  Well, I hope your ears drop off you bastard and that you have to fashion yourself some plastic coated cardboard new ones. Preferably very large in size.

 

[Gnomicide]

Dear Alban They won't let me hire a donkey to carry all my stuff in, can you suggest a viable alternative?

 

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

Dear Alban They won't let me hire a donkey to carry all my stuff in, can you suggest a viable alternative?

 

hee-haw, hee-haw, hee-hawlways wants to hire a donkey does that Gnomicide.

 

 

 

I see that you have my coat ready for me. How very kind.

 

[Gnomicide]

hee-haw, hee-haw, hee-hawlways wants to hire a donkey does that Gnomicide.

 

 

 

I see that you have my coat ready for me. How very kind.

 

Tremendous.

[Mardy]

Dear Alban,

 

I'm confused. You say you are a third year design student, but I thought you were already a Doctor. My problem is getting your fucking song out of my head. But, I guess, It's My Life.

 

May the seed of your loins be fruitful in the belly of your woman

 

Mardy

 

 

[Mezhyp1]

The festivals train service takes far too long to get from SE corner to pylon field, and the service being cut down to one an hour after 12 midnight is a serious inconvenience when you have conception of time, or gravity, or anything really other than utter euphoria 

 

If you can help, it would be much appreciated 

[Gnomicide]

I knew a lad who wad in Ocianic. He left about a month before they hit the big time*. How we laughed.

 

*had one hit.

[Gnomicide]

bet that tripped on his dreams!

I hope that was the name of the song.

[BlackHole2006]

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

This is your moment to shine our tadpole friends. A time for frogs and toads to put aside their differences. A time to tell it like it is.

[JoBalls]

Can you invent something that doesn't require electricity and will keep my cans of cider cold in my tent until Sunday? 

[Deaf Nobby Burton]

The problem with festivals are the amount of c**ts just standing there enjoying the music, It's fucking impossible to find a place to put your camping chair or picknick blanket these days, it takes the bloody piss, all I want to do is sit there and enjoy George Ezra for fucks sake!

[lucyginger]

Funnily enough, I used to have 100 problems with the festival.  Then I found somewhere good to camp.  Now I got 99 problems, but...

Best. Post. Ever. 

 

 

[Woffy]

Has anyone found my Nokia N94 from a few years back?

[willutalk]

Some of best sets I've seen have just gone too damn quickly!!! Possibly a time slowing kit. Or even a time speeding kit during a landfill indie band. Would be great.

[frostypaw]

Alban - my other half is a product designer so I plan on attempting to be helpful. 


 

Good Lord don't encourage them!

Have you any idea how many students there are studying things that could be linked to festivals compared to how few festival message boards there are that are easy to plumb for research? Drop in a thread... check back in a few days after the keen regurgitate the same stuff they've regurgitated on twenty other nigh on identical student research threads that the author could have found with a few stabs at the search engine....

Danger Jim Robinson Danger. If the 'research' question's been done before then let them find the thread, gotta be some legwork in research past www.google.co.uk these days, at least a site's own search engine too c'mon

[rubenz]

Flags, just Flags!

Oh and maybe teenage girls holding hands forcing their way to the front!

Small solar powered chainsaw with built in tazer could solve both these issues.