Overheards and Funnies

[pie_and_a_pint]

So, the traditional 'funny things overhead this year' thread! Here's a couple to start:

Wednesday lunchtime, Big Ground. Guys from the Terrence Higgins Trust are walking along shouting 'Condoms! Get your free condoms!'. Bloke in the tent next to us replies 'I'm ginger, I don't need any!'

Friday, at Goan Fish Curry. Chap is just polishing off the remains of his curry, and says to his friend 'that was epic, I'm definitely going back for another'. His mate says 'yeah, we should definitely come back'. 'No, I mean I'm going back for another one now' and gets back in the queue!

[TheNewUnion]

2pm, Friday afternoon at the back of the of the Pyramid.

"if I close one eye, I can see "!

[kalifire]

Not overheard as much as an absurd comment, when questions went to the floor during a panel at Leftfield

Questioner: "This doesn't seem very representative"

Billy Bragg: "It's called Leftfield mate, what do you expect?"

That kept me chuckling for a while.

[Amii]

"Is it July yet? What's that month song? 28 days has November...."

[upshitcreek]

See coaches steward "Anyone going to Bath"

Dude next to me " I f*cking need a bath"

[StePotts]

Someone passing me on the phone, "I'm just gonna go for a shower and a w*nk"

[Morse Code]

Girl in a tent near ours shouts 'can you two shag a bit quieter please?!'

Sadly this wasn't directed at me!

[matt_berr]

Bird walking past our tent after the Saturday morning downpour completely drenched....

Turned to us 'that was my worst poo ever'. Guess she needed to share it with someone

[upshitcreek]

Woke up at 9 in the morning to a noisy tent

"Let's do this two gram of ket in two lines".

Not surprisingly Not much to be heard from then on

[sazindie]

"He's not shitting in the urinal again is he?"

Also, there were a group of people singing "congratulations" by the loos near West Holts, with the lyrics: "Congratulations, and defacations, you've found the bestest place to have a pee or pooooo", which made me giggle!

[airwaves]

Whilst waiting to see Thunderbirds are go, two blokes next to me - who also had two women with them.

The two blokes each pulled a tall - highball? - glass from their packs and proceeded to make two bloody marys

Ice - ? Thought this was almost impossible to get at Glasto

Vodka

Tomato juice

Worcester sauce

Tabasco Sauce

Celery salt - ffs, who carries celery salt with them

Stick of celery

Stick of carrot

I texted my wife. She asked 'are they glamping?'

How the f*** would I know

[Jack Nottm]

Not overhead but the look on my rather mainstream mates face when mr b appeared in croissant neuf on thursday. It was a picture. Only to be completely won over after about 2 songs.

[The Other Steve]

Standing in the compost toilet queue yesterday morning around 10am (Rivermead) waiting patiently for a toilet door to open.

The next one opens and out walks a girl carrying a pint of milk followed a few seconds later by a lad. The Welsh guy in the queue in front of me shouts over "just back from Narnia?"

[Andeeroo]

In Bushy Ground last night.

Random #1: "Lesson learnt for next year - Bring tent poles, tent sheet and tent pegs"

Random #2: "Dude, you actually need to bring a tent"

Random #1: "Yeah, I should really bring a tent next year"

[abu hamster]

At West Holts during Deltron 3030's set they introduce Jamie Cullum to sing a track. A big cheer goes up then it went quiet unties a solitary voice yells Destroy the ring Frodo!

[zero000]

"Where in the Torah does it say you can't do M-Cat!?

[Ruwise]

Girl talking to her friend after a conversation with another friend on the phone:'He said he is over on the right by a Wales flag'

Other girl: 'What's Wales?'

[sedra]

Family sitting behind me at Williams Green

Teenage girl: I want to see Ed Sheeran and Lily Alllen.

Mum - who is headlining?

Girl: dunno- who is Arcade Fire?

Mum: you know - they did the hunger games song.

Girl: shall we see Dolly on Friday

Mum: yeah I want to see her - isn't she headlining on Saturday?

Girl: no I think it's Sunday lunchtime

Me: I think you'll find she's on Sunday at 4.20pm!!

[justperfect]

I know we are mostly against the flag culture on this group(for good reason) but did anyone else see the one with a picture of oscar pistorius with the line "shoot the runner"

Genius. Flag of the week. I had to take a knee I was laughing that much.

any others? ???

[fowls]

Whilst waiting for George Ezra, a girl (who must have been 18 or 19?) asked me if the bearded compere of the John Peel stage was John Peel...

Edited June 30, 2014 by fowls

[Mouseboy11]

Some bloke attempting to chat up some girls and helping them carry their stuff

Bloke "So, how old are you girls?"
Girls "We're 16"
Bloke "JESUS CHRIST!"

[sedra]

Two girls in tent behind us ( I am not making this up.

Girl1: give me a random fact

Girl 2: I know reindeer aren't real

Girl1yes they are

Girl2: really?

Girl1:yes but they don't actually fly

Girl2: oh

Girl1: give me random fact beginning with M.

Girl2: Mud. Thick mud, runny mud, sticky Mud, wet mud, brown mud,( etc, etc - this went on for 5 mins)

Girl1: that's a lot of mud

[Harry3]

"I wanna go to shangri-la, is it "hee-ven" or "heaven"?"

Ummm

[MrPink]

Went to the med centre near arcadia on thursday morning (had twisted my knee, actually saw a qualified physio in 20 mins, great service!). As we were waiting outsidea securityguy walks past and we hear fromhis radio "just an update guys, the girl that was running around her campsite naked last night is now conscious and is coherent this time. Result." Must have been a hell of a hangover/come down.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

I know we are mostly against the flag culture on this group(for good reason) but did anyone else see the one with a picture of oscar pistorius with the line "shoot the runner"

Genius. Flag of the week. I had to take a knee I was laughing that much.

any others? ???

I am trying to understand how this flag would get a wry smile, let alone have you laughing so much that you 'had to take a knee'. What is so funny about it that it warrants the accolade of being genius? Genuine question.