Overheards and Funnies

[GeordieRaver]

Tubby bloke waking past the toastie place,

"Well I used to be a kissagram at Rivaldos"

Looked at mate and both said

"Did I just hear that right"

[chimpy]

mate I just followed through and its gone through to my shorts!

[swede]

My mate had us giggling our heads off during Dolly, we didnt hear her announce Richie Sambora , and he was convinced it was Kid Rock !

[sprigpod]

by the Rotisserie Chicken place... a girl says "Whats Rotor Sarey Chicken??"

[carllucey]

One of group did not get there till sat morning and had few beers in the day and at 7.30 announced he was going back to the tent to get changed and have 30 mins sleep , he woke up at 9.30am Sunday morning.

My work mate was having his first Glasto and payed out for Worthy View camping , kept trying to call him but no luck , met up with him on Tuesday and asked where he was , he had left site to go home on Saturday about 2pm " because I was tired "

[Smash1984]

On the Sunday I bought a wooden pole with a skulls head on top. As we were walking past the other stage I got stopped and asked if I wanted to sell it for some 'ket'. I declined the offer but it made me laugh! I think the bloke selling was already having conversations with the skull at this point!

[Stocksey]

Waiting to watch dolly on the Sunday afternoon right in the middle of the hill (good spot). We have a woman waiting near us with a young girl, presumably her daughter, maybe 3/4years old.

She had been near us for about an hour before dolly comes on and 3 minutes before she comes on the little girl, turns and says "I need the toilet"

Unlucky!!!

[Joshuwarr]

Not overheard as much as an absurd comment, when questions went to the floor during a panel at Leftfield

Questioner: "This doesn't seem very representative"

Billy Bragg: "It's called Leftfield mate, what do you expect?"

That kept me chuckling for a while.

I remember this. To be fair to the questioner, he was making a point that the discussion was more of a Labour rally than anything. I found Bragg's response a little hostile considering many people in the tent were certainly not Labour supporters.

[lukemack1]

Leftfield tent can't recall what day. Billy Bragg doing a typical political speech, pissed up fella behind me shouts

'Oh just sing a fuckin song ay Billy'

[upshitcreek]

One of our group early morning... We'll (10 ish)

Alcohol isn't the answer.. Alcohol is the question; Yes is the answer.... It is that simple!!

[swede]

Did anyone see the girl during dolly at the back of the field near the mr whippy ice cream van. She was that out of her head and causing so much disruption a police car had to drive up the top track. As the police arrived she was telling all us miserable bastards to clap and then dropped her knickers and had a piss in front of the police where she sat , incredible scenes from her and the police trying to move her on

[Beerqueen]

Waiting to watch dolly on the Sunday afternoon right in the middle of the hill (good spot). We have a woman waiting near us with a young girl, presumably her daughter, maybe 3/4years old.

She had been near us for about an hour before dolly comes on and 3 minutes before she comes on the little girl, turns and says "I need the toilet"

Unlucky!!!

Same thing happened to a little girl next to us. The woman behind us whipped out a used cup and a blanket to hide the little girl from view, I offered my shewee and toilet paper - sorted! Her dad was very impressed with the shewee and said he'd have to buy one.

[fcum]

Long story short, I went down Wednesday with my mate who helped me erect the awning on the van, Thursday we went down and erected his and his mates tents by gate A. My wife was arriving on Thursday by train, daughter (14) on Friday by train. She arrived just the storm was at it's worst and had decided to travel to and onto the site in her school uniform - I have no idea why. So me and the wife took some spare clothes for her, met her at gate A and took her to my mates tent to get changed. Rather than carry the uniform around with us we bagged it and left it in my mates tent. Forgot to mention this to my mate.

Next morning, text exchanges to meet up. My mate sends me one '.....should be easy to find me as I'm dressed in a ....... girls school uniform'

[SeaShells]

My mate came out of a compost toilet with a distressed look on her face. Turns out she had a poo, didn't have enough toilet paper and ended up wiping her ass with a compost cup. Howling for ages at her "my arse is bleeding" comment.

[mrpman]

Did anyone see the girl during dolly at the back of the field near the mr whippy ice cream van. She was that out of her head and causing so much disruption a police car had to drive up the top track. As the police arrived she was telling all us miserable bastards to clap and then dropped her knickers and had a piss in front of the police where she sat , incredible scenes from her and the police trying to move her on

Brilliant. Always wondered if my ex still went.

Exactly the kind of behavior that is sadly lacking these days at the main stages. Sunday afternoon too, great timing.

[obe_c]

Overheard on Sunday morning...

"We are going to watch Metallica headline!"

Didn't have the heart to tell them.

[theDandy]

Two that made me chuckle to myself:

During the thunder rumbles just before the downpour:

'Bring it on you bastard'!

I was sat quietly at Bushy Ground before heading out on Thursday morning to hear someone exclaim from a tent 'NICE ONE BRUVA'! - aka Human Traffic film

that may have been us... I was getting paid the friday morning so said that 'the milky bars are on me!' and then started saying 'nice one brarvar!' and 'fucking nice one brarv!', where abouts were you camped?

[swede]

Brilliant. Always wondered if my ex still went.

Exactly the kind of behavior that is sadly lacking these days at the main stages. Sunday afternoon too, great timing.

It was incredible timing to be that wasted during Dolly. Incredible scenes when she decided to empty her bladder infront of the police and paramedics who were trying help her, just stood up, pulled her knickers down and squatted like a champion !

[swede]

Stone circle urinals on Wednesday night, some very drugged up guy stumbles over to me, stands very closely and motions to my privates and proudly says, "I'm tripping balls."

That was my mate Tutty, his first glasto and we'd just had a little dab which had obviously kicked in at that point

[Perks]

Bump. Love this thread

[Matt42]

Bump. Love this thread

Thank you

had a great laugh, read through all 7 pages

[Keithy]

Ahh man, been starting my glasto preparations today and was already getting the glasto mood but this thread has really got me in the mood. Overheards are one of the best bits about glasto. Remember lying in my tent on the weds night last year and listening to a group of girls graphically talking about the sexual practices that their fella's liked......and then one said "i draw the line at sticking my finger up his bum". Had me in stitches.

[Spindles]

In 2011 I was in Dairy and our Saturday night was a corker. We got back to our tents in the harsh light of dawn about 15 minutes before my neighbours, who had a bucket in their porch they'd been "using". As they got in the tent one of them knocked it over, into the sleeping compartment and I got a running commentary as I tried to sleep while they tried to clean it up with babywipes, occasionally pausing to vomit out the door. Still not sure if that was funny.

[port]

my mate out his face at THE WHO

Mate: thank fuck we brung the gazebo.

me : why?

Cause we would be getting fucking soaked....

me : we are getting fucking soaked ......the gazebo is back at the tent.

He looks up , turns round and says " thought the rain dripping off the brim of my hat was the edge of the Gazebo?

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

my mate out his face at THE WHO

Mate: thank fuck we brung the gazebo.

me : why?

Cause we would be getting fucking soaked....

me : we are getting fucking soaked ......the gazebo is back at the tent.

He looks up , turns round and says " thought the rain dripping off the brim of my hat was the edge of the Gazebo?

That's a beauty. I've had to copy it and email it to some friends who don't use efests.