Overheards and Funnies

[LetsGoToMars]

I know we are mostly against the flag culture on this group(for good reason) but did anyone else see the one with a picture of oscar pistorius with the line "shoot the runner"

Genius. Flag of the week. I had to take a knee I was laughing that much.

any others? ???

I enjoyed 'Gary Lineker shags crisps'

[Minihay]

Girl "Wouldn't it be good if they had clocks with alarms, just like phone alarms"

Bloke "As far as I can tell, cows are waterproof aren't they?"

[Loutag]

Overheard a young lad telling his mates how he and his mate Harry had had a threesome and filmed it. Full on description of how Harry had come too quick in her face and and how he had continued to stab the life out of her until Harry was ready to join in again.

He later came over to us to ask for a cigarette at which point we said hey you're Harry's mate aren't you - he asked how we knew Harry so we proceeded to tell him we knew all about Harry and their night of the threesome.

He thought we were obviously great mates with Harry and continued to tell us even more!! Obviously had to be there but it was hilarious!!

[TheNewUnion]

Bloke "As far as I can tell, cows are waterproof aren't they?"

That's given my a right giggle that.

[johnomatic]

Two guys behind me on the track to the Park, on Wednesday:

"You know [name of person]?"

"Yeah, I think so"

"Well he's got a flag this year"

"Oh yeah?"

"It's just got his Twitter username on it"

"Oh right"

"He's gonna get down the front for Metallica and get like, hundreds of thousands of followers"

This sounded like a foolproof plan to me.

[LadyP]

Walking back to bushy through silverware last night two young lads passed me

"...then during kasabian she gave me a hand job, I can't wait to tell everyone, it was awesome"

Bless

[carllucey]

One of our group announced that that week he had seen a picture of his mum when she was in her 20's and thought he would of fucked her , when we told him that was not right he said it was fine as he was not born then so technically not his mum at the time.

[CaledonianGonzo]

Two guys behind me on the track to the Park, on Wednesday:

"You know [name of person]?"

"Yeah, I think so"

"Well he's got a flag this year"

"Oh yeah?"

"It's just got his Twitter username on it"

"Oh right"

"He's gonna get down the front for Metallica and get like, hundreds of thousands of followers"

This sounded like a foolproof plan to me.

I saw this fellow. If I'd had a smartphone with me he'd have had a lot of tweets from me, but none really begging to be his Twitter follower.

[Lexbank]

One of our group announced that that week he had seen a picture of his mum when she was in her 20's and thought he would of fucked her , when we told him that was not right he said it was fine as he was not born then so technically not his mum at the time.

Can't fault his rationale :-)

[MEGABOWL]

One of our group announced that that week he had seen a picture of his mum when she was in her 20's and thought he would of fucked her , when we told him that was not right he said it was fine as he was not born then so technically not his mum at the time.

You should have told him to watch Back to the Future. Would have mashed him up.

[kalifire]

There was an inevitable 'Just Sack Pat' flag that raised a smile, but the only flag that really made me chuckle was one I've just spotted watching the BBC's Dolly footage. There are flags everywhere, all with trite references to Dolly or puns of some kind - all totally harmless and pleasant, then the camera pans to a big black flag with a white outline of somebody sticking up their middle finger. It made me laugh because it's such an unpleasant flag and so out of place there.

[Bubblecup]

There was an inevitable 'Just Sack Pat' flag that raised a smile, but the only flag that really made me chuckle was one I've just spotted watching the BBC's Dolly footage. There are flags everywhere, all with trite references to Dolly or puns of some kind - all totally harmless and pleasant, then the camera pans to a big black flag with a white outline of somebody sticking up their middle finger. It made me laugh because it's such an unpleasant flag and so out of place there.

Favourite flag was "Jolene is a slag"

[T-Bhoy]

One of our group announced that that week he had seen a picture of his mum when she was in her 20's and thought he would of fucked her , when we told him that was not right he said it was fine as he was not born then so technically not his mum at the time.

Brilliant.I would of been buckled over once he hit out with that.

[Mollyanne&Mike]

Camped in Kidney Mead, Thurs morning woken by the guy in the tent behind us farting like a trooper. Friday morning, someone using an electric pump to inflate bed, ....

Woman in tent behind us 'oh my god, that stinks can't you just wake up and not fart sometimes'.

Man in tent behind us 'I never fart when I wake up!'

Made me chuckle!

[beaker]

Whilst waiting for George Ezra, a girl (who must have been 18 or 19?) asked me if the bearded compere of the John Peel stage was John Peel...

I can beat that

A friend was stood next to the I love Michael flag (it also had his face on it)

A girl went up to the flag holder and said

"Who's Michael?"

He replied "Michael Eavis"

"Who's he?"

On reflection not so much funny as disappointing

[Cockney_Jesus]

Saw a woman selling newspapers near the Pyramid before Dolly Parton,

"Please buy these so I can go and see Dolly!"

Also the Milk Truck guys made my mornings 'MILKY MILKY, MILKY MIIILLLKKYYY!'

[johnmcga]

One of my mates stayed up in Worthy View for this, his first Glastonbury.

We bumped into him on Friday and asked him how his Thursday evening had gone, upon which he embarked upon a lengthy, entertaining story of how he'd taken hours to find the hill up to WV. Upon getting to the top, he realised it was the wrong hill, so he had to reverse his route. Eventually he found the right hill, but decided to have a kip half way up instead of getting back to his camp.

He was quite happy snoozing on the floor until Thursday night's torrential rain woke him up.

Anyway, the thing that had me in stitches was his one-liner that summed everything up: "That Kate Bush doesn't know what she's talking about, you know."

(It took me a few moments to realise he was referring to the 'running up that hill' line, but once I did I thought it was inspired.)

[geoffboycott]

Some great ones on here, small but thought it worth a chuckle:

Sunday morning, passed a couple of Sunday ticket holders (first timers I'm guessing), immaculately dressed, pressed shirt and pullover, clean beige slacks and deck shoes on the gentleman, his good lady wife similarly dressed and again with inappropriate footwear which were about to be destroyed when they reached Silver Hayes mud in a hundred yards time. Complete with obligatory picnic chairs, rug and ancillaries. Gentleman passes comment, with a disapproving look, to wife 'Look, I can't believe it, they're.... they're, they're all taking alcohol..... at this time of day!'....

I checked my watch.. it was 11.20AM.

Had to raise the corner of my mouth.

[Tremor2005]

Saw a bloke tiredly pulling along one of those little wagons with loads of coats/bags and a toddler fast asleep in it. Bloke next to him (evidently a mate/family member) picked up a Thermos from within the wagon, bashed it and started yelling "Bring Out Your Dead!" Brilliant.

[pmn]

I was unlucky enough to be standing next to the most drugged up person ever during metallica. I actually thought he might be dead then all of a sudden he came to life making some weird wailing noise. And then he was clinging on to my my t shirt and trying to lick my neck. I think it's fair to say I've never been so freaked out in my entire life

[Samhodson95]

I know we are mostly against the flag culture on this group(for good reason) but did anyone else see the one with a picture of oscar pistorius with the line "shoot the runner"

Genius. Flag of the week. I had to take a knee I was laughing that much.

any others? ???

im saying nothing...could've laughed.

Edited July 1, 2014 by Samhodson95

[showmethestones]

Watching Blondie, they start playing Atomic and some dude says "I haven't felt this good since Archie Gemmill scored against Holland in 1978"

At the back watching Dolly, some dude says to his mate, she might have big tits but when they are released they would hit the ground quicker than george groves in the eighth

[Jules007]

Just after Blondie finished, walking away from Other stage with a few other thousand people, I'm half way to West Holts some guy just at the side of the path picks his Rucksack up, turns to his mates and says with determination 'Right, lets go see Blondie'

Not sure if it was me being half pissed but it tickled me.

[mike46]

Stone circle urinals on Wednesday night, some very drugged up guy stumbles over to me, stands very closely and motions to my privates and proudly says, "I'm tripping balls."

[swell]

Noel Fielding, at the end of kasabian for me.

Glastonbury I suck your head like lollipop