Overheards and Funnies

[ian the worm]

Sunbathing with a colleague at Lost Horizons and the next act that comes on is a Charlie Chaplin burlesque stripper with a tiny portable CD player...

She looked terrified and only took about 3 mins to get down to her pants and finished.

It was probably the only gig she'd ever done where her entire audience of 50 or so were more naked than her.

[Livers]

Best thing I saw was a guy who cut holes in his pop up tent for his arms, legs and head and walked about in it all weekend plonking it down at whatever stage he was at.

[port]

told this one before but it deserves another airing.....

Another mate this time

we are dancing at the Glade about 2 am in the rain.....someone had broken open a glowstick and the liquid was glowing on the mud...

We knew what it was but one of our party started staring at it for ages...... we stopped dancing and stood watching him..

then he starts looking at this girl..... bends down,,, picks up a big dod of wet mud with a line of glowstick stuff on it ....taps the girl on the shoulder and holds the mud up to her face and says ....." did you drop your necklace"

the girls reaction was fecking priceless

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

told this one before but it deserves another airing.....

Another mate this time

we are dancing at the Glade about 2 am in the rain.....someone had broken open a glowstick and the liquid was glowing on the mud...

We knew what it was but one of our party started staring at it for ages...... we stopped dancing and stood watching him..

then he starts looking at this girl..... bends down,,, picks up a big dod of wet mud with a line of glowstick stuff on it ....taps the girl on the shoulder and holds the mud up to her face and says ....." did you drop your necklace"

the girls reaction was fecking priceless

And there's me thinking my lot were deranged. We're not even a patch on you lunatics! lol

[briddj]

2009 on the lazy Sunday, walking near the Pyramid after coming back from the bar - mate slips over on A BANANA SKIN onto his arse. He did it with great skill though and didn't spill any of the six beers he was carrying! That has gone down in legend.

A BANANA SKIN!

Edited March 23, 2015 by briddj

[wilem]

Some guy on pills in 2013 exclaimed loudly in West Holts "Gonna get my Bilbo on!" (referring to him dancing. Apparently "You know... because feet?")

[davefrompompey]

Some guy on pills in 2013 exclaimed loudly in West Holts "Gonna get my Bilbo on!" (referring to him dancing. Apparently "You know... because feet?")

Haha! May well use that... although you do run the risk of getting some strange looks if you're misheard!

[Divein]

Not exactly overheard but I must get asked every year where the Pyramid Stage.

The closest I've been asked is near the beat hotel.

Usually my response is ' You see that big thing there shaped like a pyramid....'

[RossTC]

Was two years ago on the Friday, few of my friends got a bit carried away too early in the dance village, we met them later on before the Arctic Monkeys up at the tent. They were right in the ket hole, one had just fallen off his camping chair and was doing backstroke around the tent. Another had a childs camping chair with a frogs face on it running round going 'ohhhh fancy a bum' at anyone close by. Hilarious to watch. Needless to say non of them made it to the monkeys set and were most annoyed with themselves the next day!

Two friends last year we left at the stone circle at must of been 6am sunday morning, we were back at the tents sat chilling when they ambled back. Both in a serious pickle, one said to the other 'i just snorted a load of orange shit'. Then sat talking to a flag for 10 mins before getting funny with us for laughing at him!

[Smash1984]

Last years Glasto on the Sunday (most of the stalls tend to lower their prices to clear stock etc). Because of this i decided to purchase this random wooden pole/stick with a skull on top of it. Fast forward a few hours we were both walking past the other stage when we were stopped by some high as a kite shirtless chap who looked like he was talking to the skull. He then asked if we would sell it to him for some KET. We kindly declined but very funny/strange at the time.

[Gedh]

From the context of the conversation first timer on a pathway with a trolley.

"Yeah, I know we said we'd just meet in the camping field but we need to change that."

Looks across endless vistas of humanity and tents

"Mate, you will not believe this until you get here"

[pie_and_a_pint]

From the context of the conversation first timer on a pathway with a trolley.

"Yeah, I know we said we'd just meet in the camping field but we need to change that."

Looks across endless vistas of humanity and tents

"Mate, you will not believe this until you get here"

Love it!

[Spindles]

2 really evocative lines there. Thanks

[bennyboi]

It was dead still everyone cotching round the camp at about 6-7am not been to sleep yet and just heard some 50 or so yards away shout "I'ma shit on these walls Ray!" followed by simaltainious histerics from me and my mates and few other groups in the area.

[mike86]

These people who end up far too way gone and are either picked up by police or medical staff, are they sent home or let back into the festival once they recover?

[sheffieldlady]

Not quite a overheard! Was packing up on the Monday about 10am ish when a group of lads appeared from their tent and said "You're leaving already, you have the whole of Sunday to go" they were not impressed when told it was Monday morning and they had missed the whole of Sunday.

[T-Mouse]

This probably belongs more in the break in thread, but here goes anyway. A good friend of ours has successfully gotten in to Glastonbury for the last 4 festivals ticketless. I won't go into how he does it, but we know certain people who do certain things that get them in to the festival. He gets in no problem on the Wednesday. Enjoys the first few days until..

Fast forward to the Saturday afternoon. We're making out way in to the dance village field walking through a bottleneck from gate D. Before we know it, my friend is surrounded by security. Hes wearing a long sleeve (a tell tale for bandless folk) and his world begins to crumble. He has no money. No phone. No company. Just before he leaves another friend gives him a phone and says don't give up. Hes escorted back to the tent to get his things and then 5 or so miles off site. Hes told that if he's seen on the site again, he will be fined up to £1000. As security drive off, he is truly alone and contemplates going home. But what's this. In his pocket he finds a gram of mdma. Not today he says. Not today.

With his body flowing with chemicals he begins the walk back. It took him 4 hours walking to get back to the site. At this point it dawns on him that it is truly hopeless. He looks for entry points and finds nothing. The phone that was given to him is out of battery. He circles the site for close to 3 hours. He explained this as probably his lowest point.

And then things get a little bit Disney. By some miracle, he happens to see someone he knows walking back into the festival. Not just someone he knows. The SISTER of the person who got him in to the festival. The stars alligned. Before he knew it he Had a wristband and made it through the gate, only to be have enquiries made about the state of the band he was using. Without thinking he just runs. Runs into a big crowd and gets through. Luckily the sister had gotten back in anyway but was understandably annoyed she no longer had her wristabnd. All was forgiven after the sunday.

He made it to the pyramid stage halfway through metallicas set. Nobody could quite believe it. He had lucked out horribly but he was in. we hugged eachtother and spoke long about how it must be fate that had gotten him in. His perseverance rewarded in the perfect way.

The next morning we're at the campsite and 3 security guards come over. They clock him and everyone's hearts sink. They pick him up and say "right that's it get your things your out". We are all devastated. Some already are pleading with the guards.

Turns out it was the same 3 security guards who kicked him out the day before. They liked him so much and felt so bad that they just wanted to come over to see if he was in.. And also to make him shit himself. They succeeded (not literally). Laughs were shared and he saw out the rest of the festival Without a hitch. A fantastically unlikely tale that always brings a smile to my face.

[Space Shanty]

About 12 years ago one of my mates came over to us almost in tears on the Sunday and blubbed 'Richard Whitely is dead'.

There was a bit of silence until his cousin said 'When do you ever watch Countdown?'

Fella replies 'What the fuck are you talking about? We're on about The Who.'

'That's Roger Daltrey lad.'

Edited March 23, 2015 by Space Shanty

[Waapster]

my mate out his face at THE WHO

Mate: thank fuck we brung the gazebo.

me : why?

Cause we would be getting fucking soaked....

me : we are getting fucking soaked ......the gazebo is back at the tent.

He looks up , turns round and says " thought the rain dripping off the brim of my hat was the edge of the Gazebo?

That is just brilliant

[briddj]

Dance village in 2011 at about 2am. Some bloke is stood up, off his tits on the little bridge clearly no idea what he's doing, who he is or where he is. Security guy walking away from him speaking into his radio said "yeah I need a medical team I've got a man stood up here who has just sh1t himself."

[Curlygirl]

Monday morning last year, my neighbours took their rubbish to the bins, including a 5 litre water bottle filled with urine. Not long after, the bin lorry comes down the hill very slowly, approaching said bottle of urine which was in the tyres path. Approximately 12 campers packing up near the roadside tried to run for cover... Unfortunately too late. The bottle exploded and sent the urine in an impressive wave over all 12 campers and their kit

[Slugworth]

These people who end up far too way gone and are either picked up by police or medical staff, are they sent home or let back into the festival once they recover?

I have no experience with this but i wouldn't have thought they would be ejected from site. Unless of course they are behaving in a way that screams arrest me or they are that bad they need hospital.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

Not exactly overheard but I must get asked every year where the Pyramid Stage.

The closest I've been asked is near the beat hotel.

Usually my response is ' You see that big thing there shaped like a pyramid....'

This happened to me one year. I was with a friend actually in front right of the pyramid stage leaning against the railings talking when someone came up and asked us where the pyramid stage was. They were serious too.

Edited March 24, 2015 by Yoghurt on a Stick

[WS_Jack_III]

I've told it before but recent posts make me wanna retell it. A girl once ask me which way to a stage (i think it was JP, can't really remember) from the Other stage. I pointed her in the direction and she then decided she didn't believe me and went in the complete opposite direction.

I was rather perplexed. I even jogged after her and showed her on the map and she still didn't believe me, i must look shifty.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

I've told it before but recent posts make me wanna retell it. A girl once ask me which way to a stage (i think it was JP, can't really remember) from the Other stage. I pointed her in the direction and she then decided she didn't believe me and went in the complete opposite direction.

I was rather perplexed. I even jogged after her and showed her on the map and she still didn't believe me, i must look shifty.

I've always thought you were a wrong'n. lol