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Strangely, very strangely for me I felt really down today. Listening to the tv news just floored me. I went out for a walk this evening along the shore and sat down, watching the sun set.  A busker was playing and it had a bit of an effect on me. He sang a song called garden valley, I had heard it at Glastonbury years ago being sung by Cara Dillon. A few tunes later he sang sister Rosetta, another one I had heard at Glastonbury by Frank Turner.  Listening to live music with for me a Glastonbury connection  really really lifted me.Wandered home feeling so much better.  Ramble over 

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Thank you for all your positive thoughts! My mum is out of hospital and back at home!! 👍🏻 hope your Dad is continuing to improve Northern Ringo!  🌈💙

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9 hours ago, gigpusher said:

I know more than most about complicated family relationships. Hope it's gone ok. 

Thanks gigpusher. I called my mom and that was OK'ish. I tried calling my dad but the staff were busy so couldn't arrange it. I didn't get another chance to call him, so will try again tomorrow. 

All the best.

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I feel a bit rubbish tonight.

Ive been posting a lot on another forum too about the whole covid situation. But tonight I just got accused of being a “crying baby” for the last 6 months, when all I’ve been doing is expressing my concerns about the virus. Im not worried about myself, but I want to keep those in my community and vulnerable people around me safe, and I don’t want to see any more people die like we did in March and April.

Its knocked me back a bit, I know it’s just an online platform but several people have been ganging up on me saying that I’ve been moaning and that it’s just a “casedemic” now and that we shouldn’t be wearing masks and all this crap. I’m just getting sick of it, and it makes me question why I wear a mask to protect them when they don’t want to wear one to protect me back. 

It all really upsets me, it felt a little bit like bullying but also just lowered my self esteem yet again. Been struggling a lot with mental health lately. It’s nice that I can still come on this forum and receive a lot of support from a lot of you lovely and kind members. Please feel free to dm or chat if feeling lonely or bored or upset- I need it myself too.

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11 minutes ago, FestivalJamie said:

I feel a bit rubbish tonight.

Ive been posting a lot on another forum too about the whole covid situation. But tonight I just got accused of being a “crying baby” for the last 6 months, when all I’ve been doing is expressing my concerns about the virus. Im not worried about myself, but I want to keep those in my community and vulnerable people around me safe, and I don’t want to see any more people die like we did in March and April.

Its knocked me back a bit, I know it’s just an online platform but several people have been ganging up on me saying that I’ve been moaning and that it’s just a “casedemic” now and that we shouldn’t be wearing masks and all this crap. I’m just getting sick of it, and it makes me question why I wear a mask to protect them when they don’t want to wear one to protect me back. 

It all really upsets me, it felt a little bit like bullying but also just lowered my self esteem yet again. Been struggling a lot with mental health lately. It’s nice that I can still come on this forum and receive a lot of support from a lot of you lovely and kind members. Please feel free to dm or chat if feeling lonely or bored or upset- I need it myself too.

I think you need to log out of whatever forum you're talking about & say "fuck 'em", if you feel you're being bullied on there.

You know you're amongst friends on here. A few years ago, I suffered mental health issues myself & I know I would have really struggled with covid if it had happened back then. Luckily, I got professional help & those issues are behind me now.

Nowadays I can deal with this shit - mostly through black humour.

Surround yourself with friends & loved ones & block out the w*nkers who are not worth the effort.

Apologies for the drunken ramblings, but you can & will get through this.

Much love.

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3 hours ago, Ayrshire Chris said:

Strangely, very strangely for me I felt really down today. Listening to the tv news just floored me. I went out for a walk this evening along the shore and sat down, watching the sun set.  A busker was playing and it had a bit of an effect on me. He sang a song called garden valley, I had heard it at Glastonbury years ago being sung by Cara Dillon. A few tunes later he sang sister Rosetta, another one I had heard at Glastonbury by Frank Turner.  Listening to live music with for me a Glastonbury connection  really really lifted me.Wandered home feeling so much better.  Ramble over 

Apologies Ayrshire, as I've only just read this. My mind's a little scattered at the moment. It's like a pinball in a pinball machine, bouncing off many an object, but not able to settle.

Thanks for posting that. It was very eloquent, and it is good to know that you were lifted in the end. Do you know what? That's lifted me too. Cheers.

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2 hours ago, FestivalJamie said:

I feel a bit rubbish tonight.

Ive been posting a lot on another forum too about the whole covid situation. But tonight I just got accused of being a “crying baby” for the last 6 months, when all I’ve been doing is expressing my concerns about the virus. Im not worried about myself, but I want to keep those in my community and vulnerable people around me safe, and I don’t want to see any more people die like we did in March and April.

Its knocked me back a bit, I know it’s just an online platform but several people have been ganging up on me saying that I’ve been moaning and that it’s just a “casedemic” now and that we shouldn’t be wearing masks and all this crap. I’m just getting sick of it, and it makes me question why I wear a mask to protect them when they don’t want to wear one to protect me back. 

It all really upsets me, it felt a little bit like bullying but also just lowered my self esteem yet again. Been struggling a lot with mental health lately. It’s nice that I can still come on this forum and receive a lot of support from a lot of you lovely and kind members. Please feel free to dm or chat if feeling lonely or bored or upset- I need it myself too.

Happy to hear that you have found solace on this site FestivalJamie. 

I 'kind of' know what you mean about feeling hurt by responses from another site. I recently wrote a piece of stoned and drunk fiction on another site. The response that I got was that I was an imbecilic sexist. That was a rather stunning 'appraisal' to receive - especially in the clear light of day the next morning. The thing is that I knew that there was no intent for it to be perceived that way. It purely was an exercise in allowing dope / my mind to be creative within fiction. Now, am I deep down on a sub conscious level a sexist, I thought to myself? No matter what way I tried to see how that could be true, I couldn't square it to make it 'be'. I tried to explain this, but it fell on deaf ears.

Now, the point is - I could have walked away from that as affronted as some of the people who read the item were. I didn't do that. Instead I treated it as a learning curve. The thing is, no matter what you write, they'll always be someone out there who wants to trip you up. 

My advice would be to not allow your views to be censored by others. Fuck 'em - you've got every right to be there as much as they are. 

In addition to the above, I find it difficult to understand that your viewpoint towards covid-19 can be criticised. Unfortunately it's not one that I have, if I'm honest, been able to adhere to myself. I run an Airbnb business and it puts me in connection with people from all over the country. Many is the time I've gone to shake a customers hand and they have automatically shaken mine too. I just keep forgetting. I also have, numerous times, gone to the shops only to get to the entrance and think 'Bollocks, I've forgotten my mask', and then had to go back home and re-start the shopping process, but with a mask. I also wash down everything that comes into the house from the shops in a Dettol solution. I've done that since day 1. 

Anyway, I'll stop there. Well, I almost will - just to say that 'be the you the you you are'. 

All the best.

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1 hour ago, Punksnotdead said:

 

Surround yourself with friends & loved ones & block out the w*nkers who are not worth the effort.

 

Looks like it's my day for apologising, as I've only just read your post too Punksnotdead. Those are fine words and the advice is very sound also. One of my dearest friends adopts the 'mantra' which you appear to propose, in that one should steer clear from negative energies and gravitate towards positive ones. I can't say that I've actively practised it, but it would appear to benefit him no end.

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5 hours ago, Yoghurt on a Stick said:

Apologies Ayrshire, as I've only just read this. My mind's a little scattered at the moment. It's like a pinball in a pinball machine, bouncing off many an object, but not able to settle.

Thanks for posting that. It was very eloquent, and it is good to know that you were lifted in the end. Do you know what? That's lifted me too. Cheers.

Cheers for that, it was so out of character for me, usually nothing ever fazes me. If this shit storm is affecting me then god knows how others are feeling.   The quid I put in the buskers guitar case must be the cheapest every paid for an hours therapy session! 

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6 hours ago, Yoghurt on a Stick said:

Looks like it's my day for apologising, as I've only just read your post too Punksnotdead. Those are fine words and the advice is very sound also. One of my dearest friends adopts the 'mantra' which you appear to propose, in that one should steer clear from negative energies and gravitate towards positive ones. I can't say that I've actively practised it, but it would appear to benefit him no end.

No worries Yog. I posted whilst drunk & in the early hours so wasn't expecting an immediate response.

I didn't mean to imply that everyone should be like me. As long as my loved ones are on my side, who gives a fuck what some strangers on a forum think! I accept that doesn't work for everyone - there's no 'one size fits all' method.

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1 hour ago, Ayrshire Chris said:

Cheers for that, it was so out of character for me, usually nothing ever fazes me. If this shit storm is affecting me then god knows how others are feeling.   The quid I put in the buskers guitar case must be the cheapest every paid for an hours therapy session! 

Good to hear. Buskers are the only live music I've seen in 8 months. If you find a good 'un, it can really lift the spirits!

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11 minutes ago, Yoghurt on a Stick said:

Bargain. And that'll have helped lift his / her spirits too.

Yes I’m sure it did. He was really good, and attracted quite a crowd.  I understand he’s a singer/guitarist in a band that usually plays weddings, events, pubs etc so obviously not much work for him at the moment. He had a varied choice of music, listened for about 45 minutes and fair play to him, he didn’t resort to that buskers favourite Wonderwall!😉

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33 minutes ago, Ayrshire Chris said:

Yes I’m sure it did. He was really good, and attracted quite a crowd.  I understand he’s a singer/guitarist in a band that usually plays weddings, events, pubs etc so obviously not much work for him at the moment. He had a varied choice of music, listened for about 45 minutes and fair play to him, he didn’t resort to that buskers favourite Wonderwall!😉

We were going to have an unknown (to us) band play at our wedding. My Lordy but they weren't going to come cheap. However, my wife had also insisted on a free bar for everybody all night too. Eventually I came to my senses and said 'It's either the band or the free bar'. She indicated that she wouldn't marry me at all if there was no free bar. So, a free bar it was. I didn't want a band anyway. I had wanted to employ one of those top of their game pickpockets who perform at events to show their skills. 

Anyway, I've had a smoke, and the above (to my failing mind) was meant to tie in seamlessly with your mention of 'plays weddings'. On reflection I can see that that conclusion might have been a little too hastily formulated. 

Can you just imagine how you would have felt in the mood you were in if he had played 'Wonderwall'? Fucking hell, that doesn't bear thinking about!

 

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On 8/29/2020 at 5:52 PM, crazyfool1 said:

ok so ive been feeling a bit low , especially the last couple of days with the Glastonbury announcement ... although that just topped off my frustrations really ... ive sought advice from a few others out of  the forum and they have been helpful in calming me down ... ( thanks to my mum and @vintagelaureate but the reason for this post is that im posting to see if anyone has any words of wisdom that might be of help to me going forward .

The main reason is that I dont feel at all safe in my workplace and have been sold  my return based on it being safe and that measures are in place for my safety ..... which were removed within a short time of me going back ... or quite simply they are not being enforced in any way whatsoever .... so for example social distancing ... today it was clear that some new colleagues should have been wearing facemasks when being trained at close quarters by other colleagues also not wearing facemasks using handheld pdas .... I went to my manager and requested that this happen and was told that they were adhering  to social distancing ... which one of you can read a mobile phone screen from 2m ? because that would be the case if they were !!

2weeks ago I wrote a letter to the store manager outlining my concerns about safety and some of the things I mentioned would be very simple to implement ... such as opening the windows to aid ventilation in our colleague changing rooms ..... but this was the 4th time ive asked for this to happen and still it hasn't 

ive had a meeting with the store manager who produced my screwed up letter from his pocket  , emailed head office twice with no response , had a meeting with my department manager who when i asked  if he was taking notes 1 month ago  said he would write them on his mobile phone .... I dont think he recorded anything .... 

I dont know where to  go from here .... I dont  want to  be posting again when the store has had an outbreak or worse ... perhaps we won't get anything but im  not having someone becoming ill on my conscience .... just not sure where to go with it .... its making me feel really shit with worry and people ignoring my concerns are not helping me . our store has the worst face mask wearing ive seen and other stores have near enough 100per cent compliance with colleagues , I could just go off with stress and get paid ssp but im not sure that will actually achieve the desired response .... nothing will  happen just as nothing is happening now ..... and I will suffer a massive loss of income ... 

what to do ....?  and where to go  from here ? I think my workplace should at least be taking the things ive mentioned seriously ... 

anyone knowledgable about workplace safety ? im not a member of a union unfortunately ....and if i did join I dont think i could use them for 3 months 

anyway who would have thought a government announcement would have made me smile ... but today the mandating of face coverings in the workplace has done that  ... its not everything I know but in my opinion it was divisive and is a good start to making me feel safer in my work environment ... I wish my colleagues managers and company had made that decision for me but hey ... there are some challenges ahead and ways that we can be a lot safer as we work but they should be smaller fry in comparison .... thanks for listening everyone 

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To be honest, the last couple of weeks have been tough. Completely burnt out at work, lapsed on any exercise, continuously tired, and not exactly much(/any) good news coming out about a return to any kind of normal.

But I have next week off and I can't wait. I'm going to get back to the gym, get out each day, play video games, and cook nice food. No I can't go on holiday easily but I'm unbelievably excited about it regardless.

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Hold your loved ones close people- lost my amazing Mum today rather unexpectedly. Tell them you love them and don't sweat the small stuff. (We never argued and I have loads of amazing memories - will be living the rest of my life to make her proud) 

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6 hours ago, efcfanwirral said:

Hold your loved ones close people- lost my amazing Mum today rather unexpectedly. Tell them you love them and don't sweat the small stuff. (We never argued and I have loads of amazing memories - will be living the rest of my life to make her proud) 

I'm so sorry, this is terrible news!

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8 hours ago, efcfanwirral said:

Hold your loved ones close people- lost my amazing Mum today rather unexpectedly. Tell them you love them and don't sweat the small stuff. (We never argued and I have loads of amazing memories - will be living the rest of my life to make her proud) 

I'm so sorry to hear this. You're so right about that too.

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8 hours ago, efcfanwirral said:

Hold your loved ones close people- lost my amazing Mum today rather unexpectedly. Tell them you love them and don't sweat the small stuff. (We never argued and I have loads of amazing memories - will be living the rest of my life to make her proud) 

So sorry to hear that pal. Condolences.

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8 hours ago, efcfanwirral said:

Hold your loved ones close people- lost my amazing Mum today rather unexpectedly. Tell them you love them and don't sweat the small stuff. (We never argued and I have loads of amazing memories - will be living the rest of my life to make her proud) 

Sorry to hear this. Thoughts are with you and your family 

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8 hours ago, efcfanwirral said:

Hold your loved ones close people- lost my amazing Mum today rather unexpectedly. Tell them you love them and don't sweat the small stuff. (We never argued and I have loads of amazing memories - will be living the rest of my life to make her proud) 

Oh im so so sorry. Mums really are special and i cant even begin to imagine how you're feeling. But make sure you look after yourself and im sure mum will be proud of you no matter what.

Sending lots of love to you and your family x

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8 hours ago, efcfanwirral said:

Hold your loved ones close people- lost my amazing Mum today rather unexpectedly. Tell them you love them and don't sweat the small stuff. (We never argued and I have loads of amazing memories - will be living the rest of my life to make her proud) 

My sincere condolences efcfanwirral.

In addition to that, thanks for your post as it has helped me to galvanise the direction that I should now take with my own mom. It would be fair to say that I've been in a Mexican stand off with my parents, and haven't physically seen them since before lockdown started back in March. I've hardly spoken to them on the phone either. By a strange quirk of fate both my parents are now in hospital, for varying reasons. I decided to call my mom on her ward a few days ago now, and when I was put through to her I 'knew' that the mom as I knew her had gone. She's not just confused or has memory loss, she's obviously suffering from dementia. I'm not allowed into the hospital to see her in person, but desperately want to see her in person, in one of her more cognitive phases, and thank her for my life, for all that she did for me and my brothers, and finally to tell her that I love her, which would be the first time doing so.

My dad on the other hand is another dilemma. He's physically 'on the way out', and probably hasn't got long left. In addition, he has only ever bullied me throughout my life. I'm finding it very hard to forgive him for that, and so have an issue with telling him that I love him. It'll sound harsh, but there really is an element within me that wonders if I actually do love him. So, I can't just say 'I love you' to him when he gets out of hospital, which is soon. And if I don't say that to him now, while I have the chance, will I forever be wracked withy guilt for not saying so if he dies without me telling him those three words? I do want 'peace' with him, but know that that can only be achieved if I weigh down on the side that I do love him. That is very much easier said than done.

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