Funny things overheard at the festival

[Quark]

It happens to the best of us!

 

On the way home down the railway track later that night I yelled..."Shit! I've lost my hat!"

 

 

 

It was on my head

Glad I'm not alone.  It was actually at this point that I pulled my tin out of my pocket and screamed at it "WHY MUST YOU MAKE ME STUPID?!?!".  Felt better for that.

[surreysupermum]

Well I overheard a 20 something young lady puking her guts up on Thursday evening - sounded really close to my tent ... we were half way up pennards -. in fact it was in my tent - on the second retch we sat up and opened the inner door for find a random stranger had fallen asleep in our tent and had woken up puking inside. 

Just missed filling the hubby's boots by quarter of an inch lol.

Had to see the funny side - poor girl was probably mortified at the look on our faces.  We guided her out of the tent into the arms of security - hope she made it to her friends ok - unfortunately at 4am after a hectic day I wasn't really feeling the glasto spirit enough to walk her to find her tent .

[amb]

"Jesus - I've just realised it was my birthday yesterday and I was too messed up to remember" 

[MrPink]

Round our campsite, pretty sure it was Wednesday or Thursday though no idea what time of day/night: 

 

"mate, you brought fucking waitrose beer? Are you for real?" 

[Likearollingstone]

Heard two youngsters down by Bez's acid house trying to buy drugs off each other. "What you after?" "what you got" etc back and forth for a solid 5 minutes even discussing prices and quantities.

 

Turns out neither were drug dealers and they were trying to score off of each other. My friend and I noticed straight away and stoof there laughing for ages - but it took them ages to realise and then both hugged for what seemed like ages.

[Wanderlei]

"You can sleep in my tent, but i'm not having sex with you - i'm on my period!" screeched at the top of her lungs at 4am. Slag.

[Ezmereldasays]

Avalon, Wednesday: " I remember when this was all fields"

 

Classic! 

[stuartbert two hats]

"You can sleep in my tent, but i'm not having sex with you - i'm on my period!" screeched at the top of her lungs at 4am. Slag.

Slag? Classy.

[ivan]

"Jesus - I've just realised it was my birthday yesterday and I was too messed up to remember" 

That must be the winner ?

[gannster]

That reminds me... there was a chap going down the railway track on Sunday night after headliners yelling "OYSTERS, CLAMS AND COCKLES!"

that was me. there's a perfectly good explanation

[Ommadawn]

that was me. there's a perfectly good explanation

 

Drink, Drugs, Bet.

 

... or maybe you're a fishmonger

[guypjfreak]

2 blokes walking just past cider bus..............hey wheres the PS then lol

and

husband and wife [ i think ] husband ...all this is is a load of stuff from the scrape heap stuck to gether to make an instlation ????**!!!

[cdm22]

that was me. there's a perfectly good explanation

 

 

Drink, Drugs, Bet.

 

... or maybe you're a fishmonger

 

Game of Thrones innit?

[jparx]

BBC Introducing

Girl 1: So we never heard who replaced Florence?

Girl 2: The Stones

Girl 1: Oh yeah!

Then they both skipped off.

 

I loved stuff like this. Heard so many bullshit rumours on Friday. One lad was CONVINCED Rush were playing haha.

[fur_q]

Not the funniest story ever but my favourite was a young couple starting to have an argument on the path down through undle ground(sp?) a bloke who I'd just been talking and was clearly f**ked just went right up in their faces and the most perfect impression of a duck quacking I've ever heard, the arguing couple instantly busy out laughing hugged and walked off arm in arm.

[stuartbert two hats]

Not the funniest story ever but my favourite was a young couple starting to have an argument on the path down through undle ground(sp?) a bloke who I'd just been talking and was clearly f**ked just went right up in their faces and the most perfect impression of a duck quacking I've ever heard, the arguing couple instantly busy out laughing hugged and walked off arm in arm.

The essence of the festival summed up in one short anecdote!

[budvar]

And my personal favourite, walking past the EE charge tent.  Chap in the crowd walking past shouts "GET OFF TWITTER YOU C*NTS AND ENJOY REAL LIFE FOR A BIT!"

Always seems to be some joker walking past coming out with this line. Personally didn't charge my phone there this year but certainly wouldn't admonish those who did; I find they're a pretty useful way of finding your mates. And checking efests ;-)

[gannster]

Drink, Drugs, Bet.

 

... or maybe you're a fishmonger

haha close. fish chef, got carried away explaining a recipe due to your first bet

[verrymerry]

"You can sleep in my tent, but i'm not having sex with you - i'm on my period!" screeched at the top of her lungs at 4am. Slag.

 

Think that might make her the opposite...?

[HalfAnIdiot]

Conversation overheard when out for a bimble in the morning:

 

Bloke 1: How was last night?

Bloke 2: A bit mixed really and now I've got a bad back.

Bloke 1: Oh, why's that?

Bloke 2: Well, I put on my gorilla suit and went for a walk up to the stone circle. There was nothing going on up there so I walked around the greenfields and found a good ska band on in Croissant Neuf. I was having a good old dance until the band started playing Monkey Man. The audience spotted me in the gorilla suit and picked me up and crowd surfed me. Trouble was they dropped me flat on my back part way through!

Edited July 2, 2015 by HalfAnIdiot

[kellly]

A girl was crying and a guy was hugging her while another guy absolutely off his cake was screaming "but lad the shrooms" in a very loud distressed manor in her face

[Babylon sister]

I listened to a group of four lads and a girl discussing (very enthusiatically) with the facilitator, the sex and sexual energy workshop about to be held in the healing field. The girl leant forwar "right, we've got the hip hop karaoke right now, if we've time we'll drop by later". I burst out laughing and almost went with them

[amfy]

Conversation overheard when out for a bimble in the morning:

 

Bloke 1: How was last night?

Bloke 2: A bit mixed really and now I've got a bad back.

Bloke 1: Oh, why's that?

Bloke 2: Well, I put on my gorilla suit and went for a walk up to the stone circle. There was nothing going on up there so I walked around the greenfields and found a good ska band on in Croissant Neuf. I was having a good old dance until the band started playing Monkey Man. The audience spotted me in the gorilla suit and picked me up and crowd surfed me. Trouble was they dropped me flat on my back part way through!

Brilliant! I am visualising Gerald in that Not the 9 o'clock news sketch...

http://youtu.be/beCYGm1vMJ0

'When I caught him he was completely wild'

''Wild? I was livid!'

[Laurawfc]

At the fireworks on Wednesday evening, about the Phoenix on fire - "it looks like the Barclays logo"

[Oracles]

I was just getting my head down with a nice spliff and i overheard one girl say to her friend that she only needs to see a bag of cocaine and she needs to go for a poo! Gave me n the missis a chuckle.