How do you feel?

[philipsteak]

Just now, Wellyboot said:

Aw dont say that, I'm sure your face is fine really. I imagine its probably just a case of getting used to not having a bread again. I feel bad for laughing im sorry

Masks are great for covering up spots and things tho ive found - cos im a spotty little mare 🙃

Don't feel bad, I find it funny myself. I've never been under any illusions regarding my looks. Not many hang ups there thankfully.

I think the best description as I see it now is I have the (lack of) chin you'd normally associate with generations of aristocratic in-breeding but unfortunately I lack the trust fund or sense of entitlement and arrogance to go with said chin. 

[Wellyboot]

14 minutes ago, philipsteak said:

Don't feel bad, I find it funny myself. I've never been under any illusions regarding my looks. Not many hang ups there thankfully.

I think the best description as I see it now is I have the (lack of) chin you'd normally associate with generations of aristocratic in-breeding but unfortunately I lack the trust fund or sense of entitlement and arrogance to go with said chin. 

😂 well i'll tell you summat you have made me smile today! Very, very funny!

Lots of love to your chin, it's gonna get cold this winter!! 

[vintagelaureate]

The thought of another six months of life like this fills me with dread. I haven't seen my closest friends properly as it is since March - high risk household - and the no live music/lack of cinema is killing me. 

Not a great day, sadly. 

[Crazyfool01]

2 minutes ago, vintagelaureate said:

The thought of another six months of life like this fills me with dread. I haven't seen my closest friends properly as it is since March - high risk household - and the no live music/lack of cinema is killing me. 

Not a great day, sadly. 

we will get through this .... and as you know im at the other end of the phone anytime ... or watts app .... or our zoom calls ... I know its not remotely similar but we will do our best on here ... 

[Wellyboot]

15 minutes ago, vintagelaureate said:

The thought of another six months of life like this fills me with dread. I haven't seen my closest friends properly as it is since March - high risk household - and the no live music/lack of cinema is killing me. 

Not a great day, sadly. 

All my love to you Vinty x 

[Freddyflintstonree]

Up to now I've tried not to get too down, follow the guidelines and get through it as positively as I could. 

Today's announcement is really tough to cope with. All of winter, probably Christmas and into the new year.. And of course more and more likely Glasto to be cancelled again. Eurgh. 

[Crazyfool01]

17 hours ago, Freddyflintstonree said:

Up to now I've tried not to get too down, follow the guidelines and get through it as positively as I could. 

Today's announcement is really tough to cope with. All of winter, probably Christmas and into the new year.. And of course more and more likely Glasto to be cancelled again. Eurgh. 

toilet duck still hopeful ... some crumbs of positivity to grab re Glastonbury 

Edited October 13, 2020 by crazyfool1

[Wellyboot]

Hope everyone is doing ok, or as well as can be at the moment. Keep chatting to friends and family and efesters x

 

[gigpusher]

Well not a great day here either I'm afraid. My brother has been given a terminal cancer diagnosis today. We're not very close mainly because of a difficult/non-existent relationship with my mother which has made it impossible to be close with any of my siblings but still a huge shock to know I'll never, ever see him again. 

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

33 minutes ago, gigpusher said:

Well not a great day here either I'm afraid. My brother has been given a terminal cancer diagnosis today. We're not very close mainly because of a difficult/non-existent relationship with my mother which has made it impossible to be close with any of my siblings but still a huge shock to know I'll never, ever see him again. 

I feel for you gigpusher. I also have the same feeling about the thought of never seeing someone again. I haven't had the greatest of relationships with my dad, but I now have to admit to myself that he's dying and hasn't got long left. I had wanted to say an awful lot of stuff to him before he dies, and non of it was going to be complimentary. However, within the last 10 days I've found an inner peace, and now no longer wish one of his last memories to be the two of us having a gunfight at the OK Coral. However, like your situation with your brother, it has come as a bit of a shock to me to finally realise that he'll not actually be here much longer. 

On top of that, my mother has, as if all of a sudden, developed dementia. So, the window of access to her as a person is also closing down.

This heady combination has resulted in me feeling melancholic. I felt that way before in my life, but not in the same way as this. This is far more raw and primeval. 

Anyway, back to you gigpusher - Although you've not had the opportunity to be close to your brother, is there something that you would wish that he knew? If so, then you might want to tell him that thing, before that opportunity is also denied to you.

All the best.

[gigpusher]

3 minutes ago, Yoghurt on a Stick said:

I feel for you gigpusher. I also have the same feeling about the thought of never seeing someone again. I haven't had the greatest of relationships with my dad, but I now have to admit to myself that he's dying and hasn't got long left. I had wanted to say an awful lot of stuff to him before he dies, and non of it was going to be complimentary. However, within the last 10 days I've found an inner peace, and now no longer wish one of his last memories to be the two of us having a gunfight at the OK Coral. However, like your situation with your brother, it has come as a bit of a shock to me to finally realise that he'll not actually be here much longer. 

On top of that, my mother has, as if all of a sudden, developed dementia. So, the window of access to her as a person is also closing down.

This heady combination has resulted in me feeling melancholic. I felt that way before in my life, but not in the same way as this. This is far more raw and primeval. 

Anyway, back to you gigpusher - Although you've not had the opportunity to be close to your brother, is there something that you would wish that he knew? If so, then you might want to tell him that thing, before that opportunity is also denied to you.

All the best.

If it was my mother I reached inner peace with that one long ago and the only advice on that score is there's no use holding on to hatred or anger about a situation that usually the person themselves doesn't have the capacity to change because the only person that suffers is you. It has to be enough to know that you are breaking the cycle. 

I guess the only thing that I'd want any of my siblings to know is that I don't bear them any ill will for not really keeping in contact. Cutting my mother out inevitably meant barely seeing the rest of my siblings. She's a typical narcissist who makes everything about her so if one of them were to contact me it would be how can you have a relationship with her when she has treated me so badly. I knew that and I have never blamed any of them for the much reduced contact which has basically been a few Facebook likes over the past few years. 

[Lizzim]

1 hour ago, gigpusher said:

Well not a great day here either I'm afraid. My brother has been given a terminal cancer diagnosis today. We're not very close mainly because of a difficult/non-existent relationship with my mother which has made it impossible to be close with any of my siblings but still a huge shock to know I'll never, ever see him again. 

I feel for you.  I lost my brother last summer, 10 weeks after his diagnosis.  We were close in age but we weren't good at communicating.    In the end I wrote him a letter as neither of us were able to say what we wanted to face to face.      It's hard to deal with in normal times but must be so much harder for you now.

It is a shocking thing to have to deal with, lots of conflicting emotions.  I wish you all the best.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

44 minutes ago, gigpusher said:

there's no use holding on to hatred or anger about a situation that usually the person themselves doesn't have the capacity to change because the only person that suffers is you. It has to be enough to know that you are breaking the cycle. 

I fully agree, even though my epiphany on this front has only recently been achieved.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

19 minutes ago, Lizzim said:

 In the end I wrote him a letter as neither of us were able to say what we wanted to face to face.      

I'm toying with the idea of writing a letter to my mom and dad, as I too would find it very difficult to say what I want to say directly to them in person. That's because I'd feel awkward, it would make them feel awkward, and also because I don't think my vocal words and thought processes at a specific point in time would do justice to what it is that I'd like to say.

[Lizzim]

3 minutes ago, Yoghurt on a Stick said:

I'm toying with the idea of writing a letter to my mom and dad, as I too would find it very difficult to say what I want to say directly to them in person. That's because I'd feel awkward, it would make them feel awkward, and also because I don't think my vocal words and thought processes at a specific point in time would do justice to what it is that I'd like to say.

That was exactly what it was like for me and my brother - neither of us could find the right words and i know it was as awkward for him as it was for me.    You come across as very articulate and thoughtful on these forums so you do have the words inside.  

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

17 minutes ago, Lizzim said:

That was exactly what it was like for me and my brother - neither of us could find the right words and i know it was as awkward for him as it was for me.    You come across as very articulate and thoughtful on these forums so you do have the words inside.  

Hello Lizzim,

Fortunately I do have the necessary words inside my mind. At the end of the day all I want to tell them is that I love them both, and to thank them for my life, and to thank them for them being them. Admittedly, I would ideally like to build in a few caveats within that last bit, but doing so would be a bit crass. 

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

1 hour ago, Lizzim said:

That was exactly what it was like for me and my brother - neither of us could find the right words and i know it was as awkward for him as it was for me.    You come across as very articulate and thoughtful on these forums so you do have the words inside.  

Hello again Lizzim,

Please forgive me, as my heads a little all over the shop tonight, trying to cover too many bases. I had meant to offer you my condolences on the loss of your brother.  

[gigpusher]

11 hours ago, Lizzim said:

I feel for you.  I lost my brother last summer, 10 weeks after his diagnosis.  We were close in age but we weren't good at communicating.    In the end I wrote him a letter as neither of us were able to say what we wanted to face to face.      It's hard to deal with in normal times but must be so much harder for you now.

It is a shocking thing to have to deal with, lots of conflicting emotions.  I wish you all the best.

Sorry to hear about your brother. I suspect any contact I have may well be reduced to writing anyway (as it's throat cancer that has spread) so will do my best to find a way to articulate myself. In some ways the more complicated part is contact with my other siblings.

As I've mentioned on other posts I've probably been one of the few people not to miss contact with family because it's not something we do often anyway. However I was very close to my other brother for a long time. 

I kind of stopped being close when I realised just how one way the contact was. The phrase don't jump rivers for people who wouldn't jump puddles for you probably sums it up quite succinctly. We never fell out exactly I just made a decision that he would need to be the one to initiate contact and organise it and so it hasn't happened. The only contact we've had have been texts wishing me happy birthday (usually about 8 weeks after said birthday!!) and with some kind of dig about how I haven't been in contact with him even though I do still always send him a birthday text (and on the actual day!)

[Quark]

On 10/12/2020 at 12:56 PM, philipsteak said:

In the grand scheme of things, not very important, but I shaved yesterday for the first time since lockdown started. I feel like I've got a really fucking weird face. Pre lockdown I was generally clean shaven. How had I not noticed this before. I look like a poorly drawn Matt Groening character. I'm genuinely a bit startled every time I see my reflection

If it makes you feel better, having a grade 1 cut always makes me realise my head is an odd shape.  Very long at the back.  Makes me look like a xenomorph from a certain angle. Hats are a bastard to fit

[lemons]

There's a real cruelty trying to grieve during all this without the typical procedures. A lonely experience. 

[Wellyboot]

1 hour ago, lemons said:

There's a real cruelty trying to grieve during all this without the typical procedures. A lonely experience. 

Hope you're ok, sending lots of love to you 

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

2 hours ago, lemons said:

There's a real cruelty trying to grieve during all this without the typical procedures. A lonely experience. 

Hello lemons,

 

Grieving is always a torturous process, but yours is made that much more barbaric by the 'new' abnormal covid-19 world we are all being forced to live in. I wish that I had some useful or even comforting words to say, but I don't. However, the last stage of the grieving process is 'acceptance'. I wish that this comes to you sooner rather than later, despite the current circumstances trying to make that not happen.

 

All the best. 

[eFestivals]

today I feel pissed off.  

I've arranged to visit my old mum tomorrow for the first time in a couple of months. I've been keeping visits to a minimum for the obvious reasons.

This morning one of my household who works in a public building has had an alert from the app, that they've been in contact with an infected person - although it's not saying to isolate.

I realise that there's only a small risk that they've picked up the infection, but it's a risk that wasn't there yesterday.

Can't decide what I should do.  

 

[Freddyflintstonree]

10 hours ago, eFestivals said:

today I feel pissed off.  

I've arranged to visit my old mum tomorrow for the first time in a couple of months. I've been keeping visits to a minimum for the obvious reasons.

This morning one of my household who works in a public building has had an alert from the app, that they've been in contact with an infected person - although it's not saying to isolate.

I realise that there's only a small risk that they've picked up the infection, but it's a risk that wasn't there yesterday.

Can't decide what I should do.  

 

I've had that alert literally five times (Liverpool...). It should follow up to say all clear / isolate very soon. 

[eFestivals]

11 hours ago, Freddyflintstonree said:

I've had that alert literally five times (Liverpool...). It should follow up to say all clear / isolate very soon. 

ahh, OK. There's been no follow-up message yet. 

I talked it thru with my mum yesterday, and she's happy for me to still visit. 

Now the bummer is a long dive in the rain.