Headliner predictions 2017

[dentalplan]

Yeah that'd take ages for your returns to come in.

[ShakeyCrash]

Question is could there be a 4th headliner; I recall reading that Kasabian were classed as this a few years back. Ed is nailed on, and on the plus side it would keep the life of this thread going beyond when Ed is announced (pretty sure I've heard that there is a manned rocket on the way to the millky way to try and arrange the starts to make a new constellation called Ursa ginger for his announcement)... who am I kidding; nothing would stop the life of this thread 

Edited March 8, 2017 by ShakeyCrash

[Gucci Piggy]

9 minutes ago, ShakeyCrash said:

Question is could there be a 4th headliner; I recall reading that Kasabian were classed as this a few years back. Ed is nailed on, and on the plus side it would keep the life of this thread going beyond when Ed is announced (pretty sure I've heard that there is a manned rocket on the way to the millky way to try and arrange the starts to make a new constellation called Ursa ginger for his announcement)... who am I kidding; nothing would stop the life of this thread 

If there is a "4th headliner" it'll probably be Gaga playing below one of the headliners but being advertised as a 4th headliner.

Were Kasabian classed as that? Neil has said that in 2009 (the year Kasabian subbed) Coldplay were supposed to appear as a 4th headliner but pulled out in the end due to sales of their stadium tour or something.

[Purple aki squat]

Just spoke to an itk imaginary manc who says it's Roses on Sunday night with Sheeran subbing.

Sounds good to me, apart from the sub.

[ShakeyCrash]

9 minutes ago, Will-2609 said:

If there is a "4th headliner" it'll probably be Gaga playing below one of the headliners but being advertised as a 4th headliner.

Were Kasabian classed as that? Neil has said that in 2009 (the year Kasabian subbed) Coldplay were supposed to appear as a 4th headliner but pulled out in the end due to sales of their stadium tour or something.

My bad; just dug this out (http://www.efestivals.co.uk/news/09/090420b.shtml); not sure about the legitimacy of the source but I say we trust it for now.

[DeanoL]

1 hour ago, Will-2609 said:

Well it's none of those things really, is it? Hence 99% of people on this thread accepting it was an inevitability from the start.

Musically it's just a big a diversion from what Glastonbury normally feature as Metallica, Beyonce and Jay-Z were. And just as significant, and just as odd. That loads of the same middle-class people who were into rock in the 90s now like a bit of Sheeran is neither here nor there. It's another off-genre headliner but without the "but they always put on a good show" production factor. Musically it's a leftfield booking. 

1 hour ago, stuartbert two hats said:

There is absolutely no chance he'll be billed as anything other than headliner. I'll place money on it. What odds would you like?

I agree he'll be billed as a headliner. Undoubtedly. He's the biggest act they've got. I'm just questioning whether he'll play last, or whether they'll do some fancy footwork to have a fourth headliner. Or maybe they'll do the "two years of music into one: this year we have six headliners". 

I mean, I don't like Sheeran. But I like the genre he belongs to. A lot. Honestly acoustic singer-songwriter types are half of what I listen to these days. And there are acts in that category that I absolutely love and think are brilliant. But if one of those ever got super-big, I'd still say they'd be a bad call as a Glastonbury closer. It's all just a bit too twee for 10pm on a Sunday night. I mean, has the guy ever headlined a festival before? 'Cause he didn't get famous last week. There's a reason for that.

On the other hand, musically he's fucking perfect for Sunday afternoon. And that slot had become a big thing with Dolly and Lionel. I mean I know folks who watched the coverage of that and mentioned it to me at work that certainly didn't watch any of the headliners. TV-wise, it's a better spot than headlining the Sunday.

And much as I don't like Ed's music, he is a guy that gets what he does. Even he might feel he would work better in a different slot. So if they could conspire some way to give him headline status (with headliner money, TV coverage, poster prominence etc.) while having a spot that works better for what he does... why wouldn't he go for it?

To be honest I threw this out there as a bit of a "would be weird but could happen" random thought but the more people are forcing me to defend it the more I'm starting to actually believe it... 

And you have to remember- this is Glastonbury, they always change up the script. We never get it completely right, something always surprises us.

[kalifire]

3 hours ago, DeanoL said:

Easy to spin him as "our first contemporary legend".

So in other words rename the slot? Sheeran ain't a ledge, bruh. Not for a long time yet.

Quote

Give the guy headline status, and fee but put him on in a slot when, frankly, his music will work better.

His music, accompanied by a full band, would work absolutely fine on the Sunday night. There are plenty of acts I'd want to see before him, but it's hard to argue this isn't his year and it isn't well deserved. I'm as confident that he'll be fantastic as I am that I wouldn't enjoy it.

[Gucci Piggy]

4 minutes ago, DeanoL said:

Musically it's just a big a diversion from what Glastonbury normally feature as Metallica, Beyonce and Jay-Z were. And just as significant, and just as odd. That loads of the same middle-class people who were into rock in the 90s now like a bit of Sheeran is neither here nor there. It's another off-genre headliner but without the "but they always put on a good show" production factor. Musically it's a leftfield booking. 

I agree he'll be billed as a headliner. Undoubtedly. He's the biggest act they've got. I'm just questioning whether he'll play last, or whether they'll do some fancy footwork to have a fourth headliner. Or maybe they'll do the "two years of music into one: this year we have six headliners". 

I mean, I don't like Sheeran. But I like the genre he belongs to. A lot. Honestly acoustic singer-songwriter types are half of what I listen to these days. And there are acts in that category that I absolutely love and think are brilliant. But if one of those ever got super-big, I'd still say they'd be a bad call as a Glastonbury closer. It's all just a bit too twee for 10pm on a Sunday night. I mean, has the guy ever headlined a festival before? 'Cause he didn't get famous last week. There's a reason for that.

On the other hand, musically he's fucking perfect for Sunday afternoon. And that slot had become a big thing with Dolly and Lionel. I mean I know folks who watched the coverage of that and mentioned it to me at work that certainly didn't watch any of the headliners. TV-wise, it's a better spot than headlining the Sunday.

And much as I don't like Ed's music, he is a guy that gets what he does. Even he might feel he would work better in a different slot. So if they could conspire some way to give him headline status (with headliner money, TV coverage, poster prominence etc.) while having a spot that works better for what he does... why wouldn't he go for it?

To be honest I threw this out there as a bit of a "would be weird but could happen" random thought but the more people are forcing me to defend it the more I'm starting to actually believe it... 

And you have to remember- this is Glastonbury, they always change up the script. We never get it completely right, something always surprises us.

Have you even heard Sheeran's music these days? It isn't singer-songwriter acoustic guitar stuff, they're big pop songs. Some of his current output could probably be released by Coldplay. It isn't much of a diversion at all, he's a pop act, not a lot different from Coldplay, Adele or Beyoncé. Yeah he isn't exactly the same as them, but he comes under the same umbrella, same way Mumford came under the same umbrella as acts like The Killers and KOL.

"two years of music into one: this year we have six headliners". Said this the other day, but we need to forget about this. They'll have the same budget and same amount of acts available as other years. We'll get three headliners and the bill will overall be of similar strength to every other year.

He hasn't headlined a major festival before because he wasn't big enough on his last album. There's your reason. The last time he played festivals he was 3rd down at Glastonbury and subbed T and V. Notice how T and V didn't stick him 4th down instead of playing in the evening because they thought his music wouldn't get people hyped for the headliner?

He isn't a legend and has no relevance to the Sunday teatime slot. Why would they suddenly change that slot, which has become a huge part of Glastonbury's identity, when there are still plenty of suitable acts around to do it?

Glastonbury do surprise us, so does every festival, but not to the extend of putting the biggest act on the festival circuit on at mid-afternoon whilst they have Radiohead and Lady Gaga headlining.

[Matt42]

2 hours ago, DeanoL said:

Yep. About as odd, insane and unlikely as Ed Sheeran headlining Glastonbury is...

corrrrr

Have you not flicked the radio on in 11 years?

[DeanoL]

18 minutes ago, kalifire said:

So in other words rename the slot? Sheeran ain't a ledge, bruh. Not for a long time yet.

His music, accompanied by a full band, would work absolutely fine on the Sunday night. There are plenty of acts I'd want to see before him, but it's hard to argue this isn't his year and it isn't well deserved. I'm as confident that he'll be fantastic as I am that I wouldn't enjoy it.

Accompanied by a band - sure. Like I said if he has a band for this next tour my entire argument is out of the water. If he's bringing a bigger sound then it's a whole different thing.

11 minutes ago, Matt42 said:

corrrrr

Have you not flicked the radio on in 11 years?

They played a lot of Jay-Z on the radio in the mid-2000s and it was still surprising when they announced he was playing Glastonbury. It's not about fame or sales. There's plenty of artists that have sold a lot that just wouldn't be suited for Glastonbury. They play Take That on Radio 2 loads but I don't expect we'll see them headlining either despite sell-out arena tours.

[DeanoL]

21 minutes ago, Will-2609 said:

He hasn't headlined a major festival before because he wasn't big enough on his last album. There's your reason. The last time he played festivals he was 3rd down at Glastonbury and subbed T and V. Notice how T and V didn't stick him 4th down instead of playing in the evening because they thought his music wouldn't get people hyped for the headliner?

He isn't a legend and has no relevance to the Sunday teatime slot. Why would they suddenly change that slot, which has become a huge part of Glastonbury's identity, when there are still plenty of suitable acts around to do it?

Well Glastonbury doesn't do exclusives and he's not been announced to headline any other festivals this year either, despite the new album.

Why change the legend slot? Why not? It's only really been an actual "thing" for three years, it was just something that sort of happened before that, sometimes.

[kalifire]

Only way I could see Sheeran scheduled somewhere else is if he believes the legend slot gives him Dolly-like exposure, Gibb/Ross are booked for something other than that slot, and the actual Sunday night headliner is huge. All three would have to be true.

1. Ed has already made it clear he wants to headline. He's big enough and it's at the right time. Why bother settling for less?

2. Where on earth would Gibb/Ross play if not that slot? There are outliers like Burt Bacharach but they were last minute add-ons. We have to assume that both are shoe-ins for the legends slot. Far more likely than Sheeran.

3. Who'd be bigger than Sheeran right now? I can see an Eavii bucket list artist like Madonna or Zeppelin taking his place, but you're having a laugh if you think Green Day, or even Gaga, would be placed above Ed.

[Gucci Piggy]

2 minutes ago, DeanoL said:

Well Glastonbury doesn't do exclusives and he's not been announced to headline any other festivals this year either, despite the new album.

Why change the legend slot? Why not? It's only really been an actual "thing" for three years, it was just something that sort of happened before that, sometimes.

Probably because he doesn't need to be playing festivals like V Festival or IOW or whatever, as he can play a fuck tonne of his own arena/stadium shows instead to actual fans and earn 10x as much. But he clearly likes Glastonbury and sees it as a special festival, and his management will know how powerful a tool it is for keeping you in the spotlight. It's the same as Adele and Coldplay last year, do you think they weren't at V/T because they didn't want them?

And you're wrong on the legend slot bit. Dunno where you've got that from.

2016 - ELO

2015 - Lionel Richie

2014 - Dolly Parton

2013 - Kenny Rogers

2012 - fallow year

2011 - Paul Simon

2010 - Ray Davies

2009 - Tom Jones

2008 - Neil Diamond

2007 - Shirley Bassey

2006 - fallow year

2005 - Brian Wilson

2004 - James Brown

But aye, in 2017 it'll be Ed Sheeran.

[ShakeyCrash]

5 minutes ago, Will-2609 said:

Probably because he doesn't need to be playing festivals like V Festival or IOW or whatever, as he can play a fuck tonne of his own arena/stadium shows instead to actual fans and earn 10x as much. But he clearly likes Glastonbury and sees it as a special festival, and his management will know how powerful a tool it is for keeping you in the spotlight. It's the same as Adele and Coldplay last year, do you think they weren't at V/T because they didn't want them?

And you're wrong on the legend slot bit. Dunno where you've got that from.

2016 - ELO

2015 - Lionel Richie

2014 - Dolly Parton

2013 - Kenny Rogers

2012 - fallow year

2011 - Paul Simon

2010 - Ray Davies

2009 - Tom Jones

2008 - Neil Diamond

2007 - Shirley Bassey

2006 - fallow year

2005 - Brian Wilson

2004 - James Brown

But aye, in 2017 it'll be Ed Sheeran.

Well it beats that bloody fallow year doing it again

[Deaf Nobby Burton]

7 hours ago, DeanoL said:

Yep. About as odd, insane and unlikely as Ed Sheeran headlining Glastonbury is...

That's your opinion though and it seems to be at odds with the rest of the universe. You don't like him and don't see him as a headliner so you are desperately trying to justify why he could play other spots (including bizarrely the Sunday tea time/legend spot) other than the Sunday night headliner slot, which he is so obviously going to play.

I can't stand his music and wouldn't be at his performance if it was the only one on, but if Glastonbury Headliner was in the dictionary there would be a picture of him underneath it.

[eFestivals]

11 hours ago, Will-2609 said:

Radiohead was only because Neil kept saying they were playing

I must stop getting headliner news a year early. Two years on the trot, for christs sake. 

[FloorFiller]

13 minutes ago, eFestivals said:

I must stop getting headliner news a year early. Two years on the trot, for christs sake. 

To be fair it's pretty impressive that you managed to get it two years early two years on the trot - just a shame you had no idea it was two years early  the mythical Radiohead built for Adele fans sub set that never was

[shepton fuchsias]

I wonder if we're getting another debacle like the Who a couple of years ago. 

They were running around telling everyone all three acts were booked, and suddenly out of the blue the Who were cancelling their Paris gig at the last moment, and confirming themselves as headliners on the Sunday night. 

Its quite possible they actually don't have the third headline act just yet, and are desperately running about trying to find someone big enough to headline without making it obvious they've screwed up again. Now of course, any band big enough to headline, who is around during the festival period has already set their diaries for the summer and most probably won't particularly want to play for 10% of their regular fee when there are so many other festivals around.

Wouldn't surprise me if the third headliner is the most underwhelming act ever because its a last minute "all we can get" act.

[eFestivals]

2 minutes ago, FloorFiller said:

To be fair it's pretty impressive that you managed to get it two years early two years on the trot - just a shame you had no idea it was two years early  the mythical Radiohead built for Adele fans sub set that never was

with RH I defo had an idea it was a year early.

I put it to the source of that info many times that perhaps it was about the next year, but he insisted that what he'd heard was about last year. As I don't know exactly what he'd heard, I had no option but to accept what he was telling me.

I still don't know what went on there, but my guess is that (basically) he heard half of a convo where it seemed the talk was about last year so that's what he took it to be - and there wouldn't really be any reason why anyone would consider it was actually about a year further on, anyway.

Even so, while I kept on looking for how it might be fitted in to what we already knew, I never hung my hat on it - it was only ever a 'strong rumour' and I presented info from at least 4 other directions that was telling me it wasn't happening.

The nature of rumours is that you can never be certain of anything you're told.

[CaledonianGonzo]

2 minutes ago, shepton fuchsias said:

I wonder if we're getting another debacle like the Who a couple of years ago. 

Wouldn't surprise me if the third headliner is the most underwhelming act ever because its a last minute "all we can get" act.

That arose out of a particular set of circumstances, including a racist petition against Kanye West going viral.

This year's contenteder has already said in interviews that he wants to play.

[Rose-Colored Boy]

32 minutes ago, eFestivals said:

I must stop getting headliner news a year early. Two years on the trot, for christs sake. 

Can you sort it so The Jacksons continue this pattern and end up headlining next time instead of playing this year, many thanks

[stuartbert two hats]

Just now, CaledonianGonzo said:

That arose out of a particular set of circumstances, including a racist petition against Kanye West going viral.

This year's contenteder has already said in interviews that he wants to play.

What did the Kayne West petition have to do with the third headliner. Be aware, I've not yet drunk my morning coffee, so I may be missing the obvious

[FloorFiller]

1 minute ago, stuartbert two hats said:

What did the Kayne West petition have to do with the third headliner. Be aware, I've not yet drunk my morning coffee, so I may be missing the obvious

The theory (not sure if it was ever more than that?) was that Prince saw the Kanye petition and in fear of something similar happening to his own headliner announcement bailed out at the last minute, which left us with The Who.

[Jakkkkobz]

I heard its the KLF playing for 5 hours

[eFestivals]

8 minutes ago, CaledonianGonzo said:

That arose out of a particular set of circumstances, including a racist petition against Kanye West going viral.

Nah. It grew out of Prince being a twat. Nothing more.