kidpresentable Posted July 1, 2015 Report Share Posted July 1, 2015 I love this one. Heard this whilst on my way to the taps one morning. Hungover guy #1 - 'Oh no' Hungover guy #2 - 'Whats up? Hungover guy #1 - 'I think I facetimed my ex last night at Shangri La' Hungover guy #2 - 'Oh no. What happened?' Hungover guy #1 - 'She just kept repeating 'Go to bed Ian' over and over. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verrymerry Posted July 1, 2015 Report Share Posted July 1, 2015 (edited) At the brothers bar a man asked one of the staff "Are these all ciders?" Girl nods "Do you do anything else" Girl shakes head And at the Brothers Bar again 4 girls in front of me ordered their drinks, were asked if they were all over 18 to which they replied yes, and we're duly served; brilliant ID checking! Oh, and not quite overheard but near Williams Green 2 girls asked us for directions to the Beat Hotel so we pointed in the direction & said go around the Pyramid & it's on the right, she looks at it & asks "is that the Pyramid?" my response, admittedly quite sarcastic was 'yes the thing that's shaped like a Pyramid... ' Ejits Edited July 1, 2015 by verrymerry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leggins Posted July 1, 2015 Report Share Posted July 1, 2015 Heard from the long drop cubicle next to me. Guy shouts to his mate waiting outside for him. "Mate, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna go for a shit" Mate replies "What, really?" .......after a bit of a pause first guy says "Actually, you might need to come in here and massage my stomach while I push" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kellly Posted July 1, 2015 Report Share Posted July 1, 2015 2 lads walking past the longdrops to the right of the pyramid, lad was telling his mate about a "fit" girl he had met and was going to meet her later and was asking his mate to go with him...his mate says "has she got any fit mates for me" first lad pauses then says "yeah yeah course mate" second says "ok then yeah mate I'll help you out" She definately didnt did she haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quark Posted July 1, 2015 Report Share Posted July 1, 2015 In the queue for London Underground on Thursday, and a guy had obviously got his timing slightly off for how long it would take to get through the queue as he was gurning like a champion. Just heard him mutter "If they don't get me in here soon they'll have to peel me off that fucking wall". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GMF Posted July 1, 2015 Report Share Posted July 1, 2015 Heard from the long drop cubicle next to me. Guy shouts to his mate waiting outside for him. "Mate, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna go for a shit" Mate replies "What, really?" .......after a bit of a pause first guy says "Actually, you might need to come in here and massage my stomach while I push" and we have a winner! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bellboy Posted July 1, 2015 Report Share Posted July 1, 2015 We were camped behind a group of well spoken types. Sitting outside our tent one morning we heard "can I interest anyone in a BabyBel". Thought my mate was going to have a seizure!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cham08 Posted July 1, 2015 Report Share Posted July 1, 2015 Overheard a group of 20 year old glasto virgins having a conversation along the lines of Person 1; It is just like Reading but about 100 times better; Person 2: Yeah and in a much nicer setting. Person 3: The line-up at Reading is quite good this year. Person 2: But that is about the only thing that is good about the place. Person 3: Unless you like having your tent shat on by your neighbour in the middle of the night. Made me chuckle and glad that they were appreciating the good things of Glasto Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nikkic Posted July 1, 2015 Report Share Posted July 1, 2015 Bloke 1 : "Mate are you nearly ready we're gonna head out?" Bloke 2 (inside tent) : "Yeah just give me 2 minutes, I'm baby wiping my balls, I've got a bad case of disco dick!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magma Posted July 1, 2015 Report Share Posted July 1, 2015 (edited) We had a young welsh couple next to us who were having some trouble with their in-tent lavatorial arrangements overnight on one of the first nights (lad was just too mashed to walk to the toilet I think, it wasn't even raining!) after his girlfriend screamed when he'd clearly missed whatever he was aiming for it goes quiet and he reflected... "You know... sometimes surviving Glastonbury is about sleeping in piss." She wasn't convinced. We're not sure, but we think he tried for a #2 a bit later too because she went absoluely apeshit telling him to put his arse away. Edited July 1, 2015 by Magma Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harmonic Prospector Posted July 1, 2015 Report Share Posted July 1, 2015 After Dancing On The Ceiling when Lionel kept shouting over and over "WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON??" A lad behind me chipped in with "Lionel's acid has just kicked in!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Other Steve Posted July 1, 2015 Report Share Posted July 1, 2015 English girl walks up to me during Burt Bacharach and asked for my help as her friends were near a St. George flag with Manchester written on it and she couldn't find them. She said "Could you tell me what a St' Georges flag looks like?". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michaels denim shorts Posted July 1, 2015 Report Share Posted July 1, 2015 Big guy in crowd at chems "Pills, md, coke, that's the question tonight" My mate: "Are they free?" "Yeah they're free for twenty quid" Had me in stitches Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Placid Casual Posted July 1, 2015 Report Share Posted July 1, 2015 We were camped behind a group of well spoken types. Sitting outside our tent one morning we heard "can I interest anyone in a BabyBel". Thought my mate was going to have a seizure!!!!!!! This wins Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neil_d Posted July 1, 2015 Report Share Posted July 1, 2015 We were camped behind a group of well spoken types. Sitting outside our tent one morning we heard "can I interest anyone in a BabyBel". Thought my mate was going to have a seizure!!!!!!! Hawkwell, by any chance? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Placid Casual Posted July 1, 2015 Report Share Posted July 1, 2015 I can't remember too many, one that sticks though is some lad around my age asking a dealer how much a 20 bag is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AThirteen Posted July 1, 2015 Report Share Posted July 1, 2015 (edited) On Friday, in the cabaret field, overhead a boy ask his mum if Kanye West was a girl or a boy. Edited July 1, 2015 by AThirteen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bellboy Posted July 1, 2015 Report Share Posted July 1, 2015 Hawkwell, by any chance? No but close - Hitchin Hill!! We thought that they were going to set up a residents association!!!!! Even worse they didn't have a gazebo - they had a friggin "Event Shelter"!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt42 Posted July 1, 2015 Report Share Posted July 1, 2015 (edited) Also Walking back from shangrila at 5am Friday morning, overheard a girl still gurning badly to her friend "Gonna go back to the tent, pop a Valium, re-evaluate my life and have a shit" Edited July 1, 2015 by Matt42 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bisque Posted July 1, 2015 Report Share Posted July 1, 2015 People... "Can I draw on you?" Me... "Yeah sure" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randy Apple Posted July 1, 2015 Report Share Posted July 1, 2015 As I was queuing to get in on Wednesday morning, a small child behind me said to his dad "Why don't I have to have a ticket?" His dads reply was "Grown ups need a ticket to get in but children don't, we don't pay for you to get in until after your twelve and then you wont come again" "oh" said the child then just went very quite. Made me chuckle after the long queue/walk from the car park Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt - Ed Banger Records Posted July 1, 2015 Report Share Posted July 1, 2015 Now trying to work out if Couchy was on my coach to the festival..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeffie Posted July 1, 2015 Report Share Posted July 1, 2015 Nope, Big Ground. But I have a feeling that the sentiment was being echoed by 18 year olds across the site. Almost word for word.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bisque Posted July 1, 2015 Report Share Posted July 1, 2015 Now trying to work out if Couchy was on my coach to the festival..... Reading 14:30? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kingbadger Posted July 1, 2015 Report Share Posted July 1, 2015 Some young stereotypical rocker ladsladslads after telling me Shubunkin and the Mineshafters were the best band ever and their set was amazing: Me: You guys must be proper buzzing about Libertines on the Pyramid then Them: Who? Libertines? Na mate don't know any of their stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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