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What would your job at Glastonbury be?


moogster
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19 minutes ago, Supernintendo Chalmers said:

Could you sort the god-awful merch while you're at it?

I’d blooming well have a go. I think the standard of the merch is a huge missed opportunity on the festival’s part. It really could be making them a lot more cash, especially during the ‘off season’ ie the other 51 weeks. 

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Just now, maelzoid said:

I’d blooming well have a go. I think the standard of the merch is a huge missed opportunity on the festival’s part. It really could be making them a lot more cash, especially during the ‘off season’ ie the other 51 weeks. 

As colourful as the Stanley Donwood designs (and those before them) are, they're very repetitive. Would like to see a few more contemporary designs thrown in there. Crazy, ten Glastonburys and not once have I wanted to buy a t-shirt, hoodie, etc

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i work in mental health, helping organise housing etc for detained and informal MH patients in hospital - so i suppose my job skills could be used in collecting together all the broken souls after the festival and despatching them safely back to their home boroughs for recuperative naps 😄

i've often thought about volunteering for FMS but i'll be honest, a weekend off work spent dealing with drug-induced psychosis is not my idea of fun, get me by a gate and get me checking passes for oxfam! 

Edited by balti-pie
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1 minute ago, balti-pie said:

i work in mental health, helping organise housing etc for detained and informal MH patients in hospital - so i suppose my job skills could be used in collecting together all the broken souls after the festival and despatching them safely back to their home boroughs for recuperative naps 😄

Back in the 90's and maybe the 80's someone was employed for just that purpose.

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Not massively related to my day job, but I've long since felt that the whole credentials system needs a massive overhaul (pretty much a rebuild from scratch), and that I could put together something that works better.

Problem is, and I suspect the reason nobody has done so to date, is that to do so would need proper authority to implement and force everyone to stick to the structure. Most of the reason it's such a mess at the moment is the amount of areas that have ben given freedom to do something slightly different to the "standard". Or even entirely different. All of which makes it incredibly difficult to keep track of anything.

Whereas I can fully admit I'd be shit at booking. You'd get my favourites, spread around whichever stage I wanted to see them on, and fuck the rest of it.

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9 minutes ago, JayDiesel said:

Guaranteed ticket for the year 🤷‍♂️

Fearless, ambitious AND clever!

 

13 minutes ago, incident said:

Problem is, and I suspect the reason nobody has done so to date, is that to do so would need proper authority to implement and force everyone to stick to the structure. Most of the reason it's such a mess at the moment is the amount of areas that have ben given freedom to do something slightly different to the "standard". Or even entirely different. All of which makes it incredibly difficult to keep track of anything.

 

I'd have the perfect professional skills and  experience to do that  actually. Just need a mandate. Let's team up!

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Without a shadow of a doubt, I’d do karaoke in the legends slot. Sing along banger after sing along banger. Set list would include

Bohemian Rhapsody

Just a gigolo

Delilah

American Pie

Daydream Believer

A Little Respect

Dancing Queen

Rocket Man

Hey Jude

Sweet Caroline

Mr Brightside

Gold

Maggie May

Jumping Jack Flash

Hungry Heart

Big Yellow Taxi

 

..... and many many more

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21 minutes ago, Tranquility of Solitude said:

Without a shadow of a doubt, I’d do karaoke in the legends slot. Sing along banger after sing along banger. Set list would include

Bohemian Rhapsody

Just a gigolo

Delilah

American Pie

Daydream Believer

A Little Respect

Dancing Queen

Rocket Man

Hey Jude

Sweet Caroline

Mr Brightside

Gold

Maggie May

Jumping Jack Flash

Hungry Heart

Big Yellow Taxi

 

..... and many many more

I’d be there, if you added summer of 69 to that list 

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Well I work for a brewery so my job would be to sort out the bars - some will remain untouched - but the ones with Carlsberg, Tuborg and Somersby will be getting changed that's for sure.

1 hour ago, Mr Boo said:

Wine taster

or if this needs to be a senior post - 

Alcoholic drinks quality assurance manager

Happy to work together on this and get drunk test the beers professionally in the lead up to the festival.

Edited by DareToDibble
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Artist liaison on a smaller stage with an interesting combination of music, spoken word and comedy. The advantage of this sort of stage is that there are plenty of interesting acts hanging around and on stage, without any primadonnas or industry hangers-on.  Plus you have the key to the rider store and artists often don't drink all their booze, so you're never short and can host a pretty big party at the end.

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During one festival about thirty years ago I remember us being sent in an Escort van to deliver a fridge behind pyramid. Nothing discrete like back routes, but through market etc. 

First time I went I was wandering through cinema tent with a bread basket offering stoned people a cheese roll for fifty p or three for a quid. 

Other than that 

 

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1 hour ago, incident said:

Not massively related to my day job, but I've long since felt that the whole credentials system needs a massive overhaul (pretty much a rebuild from scratch), and that I could put together something that works better.

Problem is, and I suspect the reason nobody has done so to date, is that to do so would need proper authority to implement and force everyone to stick to the structure. Most of the reason it's such a mess at the moment is the amount of areas that have ben given freedom to do something slightly different to the "standard". Or even entirely different. All of which makes it incredibly difficult to keep track of anything.

Whereas I can fully admit I'd be shit at booking. You'd get my favourites, spread around whichever stage I wanted to see them on, and fuck the rest of it.

I've thought this to and decided that credentials must be one of those things that's the way it is for a really obscure reason that you only realise once you start tinkering and it all falls apart.

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