Going for a poo.

[Gucci Piggy]

Festival toilets make me bloody glad I can't smell.

[LynseyDiva]

Oh don't worry, I'm one of those people who lays toilet roll all round the seat as although I love to squat in the gym, I can't aim when peeing.  I meant hovering in terms of being sat above a pit of shit and not looking down.  Puts you off your breakfast!

Don't frikking hover! That's the only way poo can get on the seat - idiots pooing above the seat!!!! The squatters shit on the back, the hoverers on the sides as they lean drunkenly then say oops and wander off.

This is a precious-people created problem. Noone who sits can get it on the seat it's physically impossible.

Though all this seems moot when all the talk on facebook is about poo-chairs so you sit and wee/poop in your tent. 

[Gucci Piggy]

Oh don't worry, I'm one of those people who lays toilet roll all round the seat as although I love to squat in the gym, I can't aim when peeing. I meant hovering in terms of being sat above a pit of shit and not looking down. Puts you off your breakfast!

This makes it all worse. You end up with a piss-soaked multi-layered toilet seat, which you can't wipe off. If everyone just wiped the seat and then went it'd be much easier.

[Woffy]

Festival toilets make me bloody glad I can't smell.

"Will-2609 has no nose"

"How does he smell?"

...

[deebeedoobee]

"Will-2609 has no nose"

"How does he smell?"

...

 

[Woffy]

Oh don't worry, I'm one of those people who lays toilet roll all round the seat as although I love to squat in the gym, I can't aim when peeing. I meant hovering in terms of being sat above a pit of shit and not looking down. Puts you off your breakfast!

Again with the squatting / hovering thing.

WTF?!

Today has been enlightening.

[Untz]

I was going to invest in a Shewee but went against it as it wouldn't be pretty when drunk. I'd rather wipe a pissy seat with a big massive handful of loo roll than hover on a shitty seat.

 

If you can get the hang of them they can still be super useful until you're drunk, but nothing beats just wiping and sitting when you're swaying in the stall.

 

The worst state I ever left a toilet in was when I was having a bad shroom trip and vomited everywhere in a compost toilet. I thought the whole block of toilets was some kind of boat theme ride or something as I could barely stand up. I do apologise if you were the person in after me. I dread to think. 

[Amy Lawn]

I love Glastonbury shits, so liberating to crap with the blue skies above you. It's bliss I tells you, this is how God intended us to make our ablutions. I don't know why the reservoir of excrement below would put anybody off, it's not like it's going to jump up and bite you, and that's what's sloshing around inside of you if you're not letting it out. Anybody who has difficulties, my words of advice are as thus; you're a human being, not a robot, embrace it and make poo not war. Also I find that a cigarette whilst sat there can be relaxing in more ways than one.

[Spindles]

+1 for make poo not war.  There is something very freeing in being able to just relax and let go.  Everyone should try it rather than being filthy c**ts and shitting in their tents.

[al_coholic]

There are points in life I wonder if what I'm doing is a bit weird, but it always pales into nothingness thanks to the Internet

Made me lol. As the festival approaches you have got to love these random topics.

[swede]

There are points in life I wonder if what I'm doing is a bit weird, but it always pales into nothingness thanks to the Internet

Haha brilliant

[swede]

I love Glastonbury shits, so liberating to crap with the blue skies above you. It's bliss I tells you, this is how God intended us to make our ablutions. I don't know why the reservoir of excrement below would put anybody off, it's not like it's going to jump up and bite you, and that's what's sloshing around inside of you if you're not letting it out. Anybody who has difficulties, my words of advice are as thus; you're a human being, not a robot, embrace it and make poo not war. Also I find that a cigarette whilst sat there can be relaxing in more ways than one.

Correct

[Leggins]

Can you buy a Shewee at the festival? And I can't even get my head around how you could hold onto the bottom of the door and aim?

I've never seen them for sale at the festival oddly. They ate definitely worth the investment.

[mandolin]

This makes it all worse. You end up with a piss-soaked multi-layered toilet seat, which you can't wipe off. If everyone just wiped the seat and then went it'd be much easier.

Or went and then wiped the seat. Easier still.

[Bisque]

I fell over on a train hitch hiking in Morocco trying to squat & shat all over the window.

[Firesprice]

I've enjoyed reading this thread...which worries me slightly. Luckily I've got powerful thighs and can squat in position over the long drop for as long as it takes! Once you've got the first one out of the way you're fine. For anyone shy, just put sunglasses on and pretend no one can see you.

[Woffy]

Never boast of powerful thighs in a post next to Couchy.

[FloorFiller]

I've enjoyed reading this thread...which worries me slightly. Luckily I've got powerful thighs and can squat in position over the long drop for as long as it takes! Once you've got the first one out of the way you're fine. For anyone shy, just put sunglasses on and pretend no one can see you.

 

you shouldn't have to put sunglasses on to believe that nobody is watching you. why are people watching you!?

[Amy Lawn]

Yeah, Floorfiller's right here. If people can see you, I don't think you've gone to the right place, thank god you have us to point this out to you before you got yourself into some pretty serious trouble.

[simonthecyclist]

6 days - thats not right.

 

[AiiShotTheDJ]

Ha this thread has provided me with some laughs!  I don't have a problem because I diet year round so the sudden alcohol intake and shit food intake means I go daily.  In saying that, I don't like going in the longdrops but the compost toilets are great.  Really quiet in the mornings and make for a good read and shit session. 

[Woffy]

Yeah, Floorfiller's right here. If people can see you, I don't think you've gone to the right place, thank god you have us to point this out to you before you got yourself into some pretty serious trouble.

 

I'm not going back through this thread, but aside from Gnomy who posted summat similar, has anyone posted a pic of that shitter in a high street somewhere (Amsterdam) in which every side is one way (?) glass...so you can see 360 degrees while having a dump but no-one can see in?

[morph100]

I'm not going back through this thread, but aside from Gnomy who posted summat similar, has anyone posted a pic of that shitter in a high street somewhere (Amsterdam) in which every side is one way (?) glass...so you can see 360 degrees while having a dump but no-one can see in?

They are putting on of those near the pyramid this year for Wateraid

[Amy Lawn]

I'm not going back through this thread, but aside from Gnomy who posted summat similar, has anyone posted a pic of that shitter in a high street somewhere (Amsterdam) in which every side is one way (?) glass...so you can see 360 degrees while having a dump but no-one can see in?

 

Sounds incredible, I might take a trip to the dam in the fallow year to get my al-fresco pooing fix.

[Woffy]

Sounds incredible, I might take a trip to the dam in the fallow year to get my al-fresco pooing fix.

 

I'm still weirdly jealous of whoever posted on here with their story about having a transcendental dump during last years thunderstorm...despite my fears about being in a massive fuck-off metal container with my kecks around my ankles, winking brown tears onto the stalagmite of excrement below as Thor's own electrical tantrum is in full gear.