Headliners 2023

[FrancisH]

lot of people here struggling with the idea of a forum and differing opinions and that not everyone is buzzing for guns and roses.

was pretty clear to caveat my stuff with "in my opinion" but feel like that should go without saying on a forum.

[chazwwe]

3 minutes ago, FrancisH said:

lot of people here struggling with the idea of a forum and differing opinions and that not everyone is buzzing for guns and roses.

was pretty clear to caveat my stuff with "in my opinion" but feel like that should go without saying on a forum.

I think there's a difference between not liking one band and saying that this year's headliners are unrealistic and don't make sense so it must be a ' joke'.

[lander89]

I think the negativity around the headliners isn’t a fair reflection of the view of the main public and most people I speak to are happy with the proposed line up. There will be plenty of stages and will be something going on for everyone which is the joy of glasto. I for one couldn’t think of anything worse than having to see Taylor or Dua but objectively know they are big and if they play I’ll just head elsewhere. Think some of the people in this thread just need to relax a little when you on the farm im sure you’ll forget all about being annoyed anyway.

[FrancisH]

1 minute ago, chazwwe said:

I think there's a difference between not liking one band and saying that this year's headliners are unrealistic and don't make sense so it must be a ' joke'.

I disagree sorry. If I want to say guns and roses are a pile of old w*nk that's my opinion. If people want to say that's snobby that's fine too. That's kind of the point of the headliner discussion thread no?

[kingbadger]

29 minutes ago, Hugh Jass II said:

For all the crying like massive entitled babies the festival can only, as with any year, book acts who are available and willing to take the fees.

Taylor is touring in the States, Dua isn’t touring next summer from the looks of things, Pink is doing BST, those much anticipated Beyonce dates haven’t materialised. Hell even Coldplay are in Italy when the festival is on…

Who would be realistically available next summer that would be bigger (not necessarily better) than the booked trio?

Exactly the point I keep coming back to. Who realistically could the festival have even bumped up? The 1975? Not even any other realistic first time headliners unless you replace GnR with RHCP. 

[stuie]

2 minutes ago, FrancisH said:

I disagree sorry. If I want to say guns and roses are a pile of old w*nk that's my opinion. If people want to say that's snobby that's fine too. That's kind of the point of the headliner discussion thread no?

I think they are a pile of old w*nk too but I understand that they are a decent enough booking for headliner. 

[anditmakesmesmile]

Lizzo, Little Simz, Florence & the Machine, Christine & the Queens, Kae Tempest, Wolf Alice. All with current releases. All with a sizeable body of work (i.e. more releases than Mumfords and Eilish) I think all touring right now. And all able to bring a little less cock rock than the current rumours. Certainly less cock. 

[Florian Saucer Attack]

3 minutes ago, FrancisH said:

I disagree sorry. If I want to say guns and roses are a pile of old w*nk that's my opinion. If people want to say that's snobby that's fine too. That's kind of the point of the headliner discussion thread no?

It's not snobbish to give your opinion on a band.

To use the term 'dad rock' is snobbish because you are saying rock music is a less deserving or worthy form of music to whatever you like. You are also saying that by sheer virtue of being a dad makes you uncool which is not the case, there are billions of cool dads and mums out there and I'm willing to die to defend their coolness is this world full of snobs

[Gnomicide]

30 minutes ago, FrancisH said:

Emily has often talked about bumping up female artists to stages way bigger than they've had before. 

Has she though? Yes, she wants a gender balance at the festival but when has she actually spoken about bumping up female artists to "way bigger" stages? 

What she has said is that it will not always be possible to have female headliners and there may be years where ther are none.

I have no doubt the overall bill will have at least a 50/50 split but if headline size female acts are not available in a given year, they're not bumping up someone from 3rd down to headliner.

Edited January 6, 2023 by Gnomicide
Typo.

[Hugh Jass II]

5 minutes ago, anditmakesmesmile said:

Lizzo, Little Simz, Florence & the Machine, Christine & the Queens, Kae Tempest, Wolf Alice. All with current releases. All with a sizeable body of work (i.e. more releases than Mumfords and Eilish) I think all touring right now. And all able to bring a little less cock rock than the current rumours. Certainly less cock. 

With the exception of Flo (who has already done it) not one of those acts is anywhere near big enough to headline Glastonbury in 2023.

[Florian Saucer Attack]

3 minutes ago, anditmakesmesmile said:

Lizzo, Little Simz, Florence & the Machine, Christine & the Queens, Kae Tempest, Wolf Alice. All with current releases. All with a sizeable body of work (i.e. more releases than Mumfords and Eilish) I think all touring right now. And all able to bring a little less cock rock than the current rumours. Certainly less cock. 

artic monkeys and elton john are hardly cock rock.

Guns n roses are the first cock rock headliners the festival has ever had

I can only think of motorhead and zz top being the only other bands the festival has had that would be considered cock rock. I'm open to suggestions though

I know that cock rock is suppose to be an insult but I say it should be reclaimed and used with pride

[anditmakesmesmile]

Equally there have been people who weren’t considered big enough at the time. Including F&tM. Mumfords, Pulp, the Arctics Monkeys the first time. They have two big names, take a gamble on the third…

Just now, Hugh Jass II said:

With the exception of Flo (who has already done it) not one of those acts is anywhere near big enough to headline Glastonbury in 2023.

 

[stuie]

5 minutes ago, anditmakesmesmile said:

Lizzo, Little Simz, Florence & the Machine, Christine & the Queens, Kae Tempest, Wolf Alice. All with current releases. All with a sizeable body of work (i.e. more releases than Mumfords and Eilish) I think all touring right now. And all able to bring a little less cock rock than the current rumours. Certainly less cock. 

More releases than Mumford and Eilish doesn’t mean big enough though. And Mumford was weak. 

Can’t keep wheeling Flo out when the need arises. Kae Tempest as a pyramid headliner????? Wolf Alice 4th down to headliner?

The trio this year are all massive. Shame they are all male but they are at least in the right lane. 

[Fishinginthelongdrops]

I was genuinely excited to watch GnR. I loved Appetite For Destruction for a time in my youth. However, just watched this and holy shit it’s bad!

 

[Superscally]

44 minutes ago, FrancisH said:

Could have bumped Lizzo to headliner (if she is indeed returning) who would have smashed it rather than booking washed up dad rock bands looking for a cash in. But hey that's just my take, hope everyone who watches em has a blast.

No they couldn't.

[FrancisH]

9 minutes ago, Florian Saucer Attack said:

It's not snobbish to give your opinion on a band.

To use the term 'dad rock' is snobbish because you are saying rock music is a less deserving or worthy form of music to whatever you like. You are also saying that by sheer virtue of being a dad makes you uncool which is not the case, there are billions of cool dads and mums out there and I'm willing to die to defend their coolness is this world full of snobs

Fair enough, apologies for using that term I was being a bit flippant really. I am absolutely standing firm on personally believing they're a load of w*nk though! All that said I'm sure people will have a great time.

[FrancisH]

Just now, Superscally said:

No they couldn't.

I mean disagree, if we're really getting into it technically they could book anyone they want to.

[CaledonianGonzo]

11 minutes ago, Florian Saucer Attack said:

It's not snobbish to give your opinion on a band.

To use the term 'dad rock' is snobbish because you are saying rock music is a less deserving or worthy form of music to whatever you like. You are also saying that by sheer virtue of being a dad makes you uncool which is not the case, there are billions of cool dads and mums out there and I'm willing to die to defend their coolness is this world full of snobs

This is incredibly thin skinned. No dads are actively harmed by use of the term dad rock.

[Superscally]

15 minutes ago, anditmakesmesmile said:

Lizzo, Little Simz, Florence & the Machine, Christine & the Queens, Kae Tempest, Wolf Alice. All with current releases. All with a sizeable body of work (i.e. more releases than Mumfords and Eilish) I think all touring right now. And all able to bring a little less cock rock than the current rumours. Certainly less cock. 

Suggesting Kae headlines? Wow.

[CaledonianGonzo]

Just now, FrancisH said:

I mean disagree, if we're really getting into it technically they could book anyone they want to.

Not by damaging the "brand" of the festival and potentially harming future ticket sales they couldn't.

[Superscally]

1 minute ago, FrancisH said:

I mean disagree, if we're really getting into it technically they could book anyone they want to.

Fair point. Book me and you. You want Friday or Saturday?

[clasher]

Jesus people this is ridiculous. These three acts are all objectively massive. You might not like some (or any) of them, but together they're still one of the biggest trios the festival ever had.

Sure you can claim bumping up an obviously too small act like Lizzo would be better than the one headliner you personally don't like, but you'd be wrong.

Serious question - how many of you would prefer the rumoured Coachella heads?

[pops1998]

10 minutes ago, Gnomicide said:

Has she though? Yes, she wants a gender balance at the festival but when has she actually spoken about bumping up female artists to "way bigger" stages? 

What she has said is that it will not always be possible to have female headliners and there may be years where ther are none.

I have bo doubt the overall bill will have at least a 50/50 split but if headline size female acts are not available in a given year, they're not bumping up someone from 3rd down to headliner.

Yep, while I completely get why people find the 3 headliners ‘uninspiring’ (that’s the word that’s being thrown around a lot on this thread), bumping up people who are nowhere near headliner level for the sake of diversity or whatnot would kind of take away something from the prestigiousness of a Glastonbury headline slot. They can’t just go around giving it to anyone

[Gnomicide]

9 minutes ago, Florian Saucer Attack said:

I know that cock rock is suppose to be an insult but I say it should be reclaimed and used with pride

Yes my man! The Throbs to headline 2024!

[CaledonianGonzo]

Coule Revolting Cocks headline?