How do you feel?

[Zoo Music Girl]

2 hours ago, Ozanne said:

I don’t feel good, it’s my nephews 3rd birthday today and I’ve just had to leave it after a few minutes as my family aren’t keeping to the rules of the tier we are in and are mixing households inside. I feel horrible for leaving my nephew, it’s gonna really impact my anxiety doing this but I couldn’t stay there knowing the rules would be broken. 
 

In the days before today I had said to my family I wouldn’t be breaking the rules so when I went round my sisters and see my mum in the house I realised they just haven’t listened to me. I stayed for a few minutes for Isaac but I felt so uncomfortable and sad. I’m the only one that can actually go in my sisters house as I’m in the support bubble but yet I’m the one that isn’t as they are pick and choosing the rules. I’ve tried to explain why they are important and why we should stick to them but it’s fallen on deaf ears. I feel invisible. 
 

I realise this might make me the loser that’s sticking to the rules as best I can but I’m just doing what I feel is best and what I’m allowed to do. 

Sorry to hear that dude. It is really shit, but hopefully for his 4th birthday things will look a lot different. You have to do what you feel is best with all this stuff.

I totally get the frustration when people in your life are just doing things that don't feel safe. I have to try not to get wound-up and just focus on my own behaviours and risks but it's not always easy. Case in point: we are tying ourselves in knots trying to work out how to see my in-laws safely during Christmas (isolating before etc), but they just do what the hell like most of the time. They're in tier 3 but think they're invincible because they live in a small village. It's infuriating but we will control the bits we can control.

Hope you feel better soon.

[Guest]

3 hours ago, Zoo Music Girl said:

Sorry to hear that dude. It is really shit, but hopefully for his 4th birthday things will look a lot different. You have to do what you feel is best with all this stuff.

I totally get the frustration when people in your life are just doing things that don't feel safe. I have to try not to get wound-up and just focus on my own behaviours and risks but it's not always easy. Case in point: we are tying ourselves in knots trying to work out how to see my in-laws safely during Christmas (isolating before etc), but they just do what the hell like most of the time. They're in tier 3 but think they're invincible because they live in a small village. It's infuriating but we will control the bits we can control.

Hope you feel better soon.

Thank you for the kind words. It’s made worse because I second guess every decision I make even small ones so when it comes to something like this I get really anxious I’m making the wrong decision then I worry life will punish me for it somehow. It’s pretty tiring. 

[Punksnotdead]

6 hours ago, Ozanne said:

I don’t feel good, it’s my nephews 3rd birthday today and I’ve just had to leave it after a few minutes as my family aren’t keeping to the rules of the tier we are in and are mixing households inside. I feel horrible for leaving my nephew, it’s gonna really impact my anxiety doing this but I couldn’t stay there knowing the rules would be broken. 
 

In the days before today I had said to my family I wouldn’t be breaking the rules so when I went round my sisters and see my mum in the house I realised they just haven’t listened to me. I stayed for a few minutes for Isaac but I felt so uncomfortable and sad. I’m the only one that can actually go in my sisters house as I’m in the support bubble but yet I’m the one that isn’t as they are pick and choosing the rules. I’ve tried to explain why they are important and why we should stick to them but it’s fallen on deaf ears. I feel invisible. 
 

I realise this might make me the loser that’s sticking to the rules as best I can but I’m just doing what I feel is best and what I’m allowed to do. 

Feel for you mate. If it's any consolation, he's only 3 and he'll soon forget that you left. Then when things are safer, you can do something special with him - it'll be like he's had two birthdays! 🙂

[parsonjack]

22 minutes ago, Ozanne said:

Thank you for the kind words. It’s made worse because I second guess every decision I make even small ones so when it comes to something like this I get really anxious I’m making the wrong decision then I worry life will punish me for it somehow. It’s pretty tiring. 

Sorry to hear you have this dilemma, the first thing to say is that you are not alone in feeling as you do so try not to beat yourself up over it.  The second thing is that you have not made the wrong decision.  Your decision is well considered, has been made with current restrictions in mind, and has everybody's welfare at heart.  Rather than punishing you, life will reward you for your consideration.  Hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend.

[oneeye]

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZSsFEUKh/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZSsY2VfN/

A couple of clips to hopefully brighten the mood on a Saturday night. 

[Zoo Music Girl]

1 hour ago, Punksnotdead said:

Feel for you mate. If it's any consolation, he's only 3 and he'll soon forget that you left. Then when things are safer, you can do something special with him - it'll be like he's had two birthdays! 🙂

 

1 hour ago, parsonjack said:

Sorry to hear you have this dilemma, the first thing to say is that you are not alone in feeling as you do so try not to beat yourself up over it.  The second thing is that you have not made the wrong decision.  Your decision is well considered, has been made with current restrictions in mind, and has everybody's welfare at heart.  Rather than punishing you, life will reward you for your consideration.  Hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend.

Would echo both of these. Try not to beat yourself up, although I know that's easier said than done sometimes.

[Guest]

Thank you guys. It is easier said than done that's for sure, but thanks for the kind words!

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

I feel a sense of derangement. 

 

 

As you were.

[Mellotr0n]

Fatigued, as no doubt practically everyone else does.

Sad for my wife and 2 year old son that they've not been able to see her family all year (we live in West Sussex, her family are in Nottingham).

In admiration of the scientists and medical fields work this year. Optimistic for 2021.

Edited December 8, 2020 by Mellotr0n

[Guest]

1 hour ago, Mellotr0n said:

Fatigued, as no doubt practically everyone else does.

Sad for my wife and 2 year old son that they've not been able to see her family all year (we live in West Sussex, her family are in Nottingham).

In admiration of the scientists and medical fields work this year. Optimistic for 2021.

With any luck mate our area will drop into tier 1 so can do a bit more. If you need to chat at all then I’m around 😀

[Mellotr0n]

6 hours ago, Ozanne said:

With any luck mate our area will drop into tier 1 so can do a bit more. If you need to chat at all then I’m around 😀

That’s really appreciated, thank you. 

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

I don't know what to say really. I guess if I'm honest, I'm punch drunk from having loads of shit to deal with on my plate. The existence of covid throughout this was a nice additional touch by God, I reckon. 

So God ( You big bloody bastard), have a bit of this;

 

 

Talking of fists, I once went into a sex shop and bought a rubber fist with a bit of arm too. It was perfect for my requirements. I bought it (as part of a diving group of friends) because it was on sale at half price (and I really do think that it was a genuine half price item). I bought it to give to a lady friend of mine's 40th birthday. It was on behalf of me and about 10 other people. The thing is we'd already bought her a fancy dive computer (they look like chunky sports watches). So we put the dive computer onto the arm of the rubber fish / partial arm thingy, and covered that with tissue. So she saw the rubber 'item' first, then was told to take of the coloured tissue paper, and then found the dive computer. 

The lady above was thrilled with her presents, including the rubber fist / partial arm thing. Then again, she's been known to give a bloke a fisting whilst sat on an office chair on a wooden pub disco floor. Little did she know that the recipient of her fist up his arse was going to take off around the dance floor, dragging sat down her and the office chair with wheels on it around with him. 

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

OK, OK God! Stop smiting me, you big smitey bastard. I repent, I repent. This is for you God;

 

 

[danbailey80]

On 12/8/2020 at 4:53 PM, Ozanne said:

With any luck mate our area will drop into tier 1 so can do a bit more. If you need to chat at all then I’m around 😀

I'm West Sussex but Chichester area. It seems we are getting towards tier 1 but aren't they doing larger areas now (i.e we'll be linked with east Croydon etc).

[oneeye]

One to lift the spirits 

 

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

My dad died in his sleep last night. We never did get to resolve our differences. That's a shame, but I'm not going to fret over it for the rest of my own life. I gave him many chances but he never took them, and in effect, insisted on being the brutal man that he often was.

[Guest]

32 minutes ago, Yoghurt on a Stick said:

My dad died in his sleep last night. We never did get to resolve our differences. That's a shame, but I'm not going to fret over it for the rest of my own life. I gave him many chances but he never took them, and in effect, insisted on being the brutal man that he often was.

I’m sorry mate, that’s really sad news. I hope you are ok. 

[Quark]

51 minutes ago, Yoghurt on a Stick said:

My dad died in his sleep last night. We never did get to resolve our differences. That's a shame, but I'm not going to fret over it for the rest of my own life. I gave him many chances but he never took them, and in effect, insisted on being the brutal man that he often was.

Sorry to hear that Yog.  It sounds as though you've made your own peace with it, which I guess is a good thing, but still bound to be a tough time. Sorry pal.

[zero000]

53 minutes ago, Yoghurt on a Stick said:

My dad died in his sleep last night. We never did get to resolve our differences. That's a shame, but I'm not going to fret over it for the rest of my own life. I gave him many chances but he never took them, and in effect, insisted on being the brutal man that he often was.

Thoughts are with you Yog. Relationships are complicated and it sounds like you did all you could to resolve things.

[Quark]

On 12/6/2020 at 4:27 PM, Ozanne said:

Thank you guys. It is easier said than done that's for sure, but thanks for the kind words!

It is tough being the lone voice on stuff like that. I'm really lucky as all of the most important people in my life are doing it properly (my parents have told us not to visit them over Christmas for example), but I was kind of the killjoy at rugby before we went into second lockdown.

At the end of it you'll be able to look in the mirror and know you did the right thing as much as you could.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

Thanks Ozanne, Quark, and zero000, that's greatly appreciated. I'm going through a gambit of emotions, but am keeping away from the bad memories of him.

[mattiloy]

2 hours ago, Yoghurt on a Stick said:

My dad died in his sleep last night. We never did get to resolve our differences. That's a shame, but I'm not going to fret over it for the rest of my own life. I gave him many chances but he never took them, and in effect, insisted on being the brutal man that he often was.

Sorry for your loss Yoghurt on a Stick. Tricky relationship notwithstanding its a shite thing, wishing you peace and strength in your grief. Be good to yourself, reach out if you need to reach out, here or anywhere else. All the very best

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

1 hour ago, mattiloy said:

Sorry for your loss Yoghurt on a Stick. Tricky relationship notwithstanding its a shite thing, wishing you peace and strength in your grief. Be good to yourself, reach out if you need to reach out, here or anywhere else. All the very best

Those are lovely words, and greatly appreciated mattiloy. Thank you.

[Wellyboot]

3 hours ago, Yoghurt on a Stick said:

My dad died in his sleep last night. We never did get to resolve our differences. That's a shame, but I'm not going to fret over it for the rest of my own life. I gave him many chances but he never took them, and in effect, insisted on being the brutal man that he often was.

Sorry to hear this Yog. Regardless of how your relationship was like others have said it can be a tricky time. I really hope you look after yourself and I hope that you're ok x

[gigpusher]

3 hours ago, Yoghurt on a Stick said:

My dad died in his sleep last night. We never did get to resolve our differences. That's a shame, but I'm not going to fret over it for the rest of my own life. I gave him many chances but he never took them, and in effect, insisted on being the brutal man that he often was.

So sorry to hear and even more sorry that he wasn't the father you deserved. Grief is a funny thing and you may find you grieve the person he was and the person you wish he was. Just remember however you feel is ok. Sending virtual hugs to you. These things can sometimes be even worse when there are complicated family dynamics. 

Edited December 11, 2020 by gigpusher