Headliners 2015

[Bobinup]

Pj Harvey to headline. Yay!

Glastonbury 2016 to sell so badly that it takes Michael Eavis five years before he dares make a risky headline booking again. Yay!

[Woffy]

daft punk confirmed

Well, that's that settled.

Confirm that they also won't play anything from the last album and i'll dissolve into a puddle of my own mammal sauce.

[The 38 year old virgin]

Glastonbury 2016 to sell so badly that it takes Michael Eavis five years before he dares make a risky headline booking again. Yay!

Pj Harvey putting on the most incredible and unexpected show that the eavii decide to have a punt on hard working and talented British acts in a headline slot.

Yay!

[DomDom1984]

There's probably hundreds of talented acts Eavis could put on. They shouldn't though.

[The 38 year old virgin]

There's probably hundreds of talented acts Eavis could put on. They shouldn't though.

might as well moan about k bands and dodgy pop acts then

[A Guy Called Matt]

As readers will know I am always wrong with predictions so:

Friday - Take That

Saturday - One Direction

Sunday -Taylor Swift

I want to be wrong, VERY VERY VERY wrong

[DomDom1984]

Misses the point. Headline acts get the headline slot, and PJ Harvey isn't even CLOSE to being a headliner. You could take a punt on her as a sub at Glasto I think because that slot isn't exactly sacred at that particular festival. But as a headliner? Not a chance in hell.

I'd absolutely love to see Crystal Fighters to headline. They can't and won't though.

[The 38 year old virgin]

Misses the point. Headline acts get the headline slot, and PJ Harvey isn't even CLOSE to being a headliner. You could take a punt on her as a sub at Glasto I think because that slot isn't exactly sacred at that particular festival. But as a headliner? Not a chance in hell.

I'd absolutely love to see Crystal Fighters to headline. They can't and won't though.

the point i was making was if there are no other acts of quality kicking around, then have a punt on someone unexpected who'd wow the crowd.

I'm playing devil's advocate as you know, but I still reckon she'd absolutely slay it

[DomDom1984]

She would undoubtedly put on a cracking performance. The problem is how many people would care?

For PJ Harvey, it would be unbelievably beneficial, and probably do the world of good. That's not the job of Eavis to help that. Ultimately, he's running a music festival.

[Woffy]

As readers will know I am always wrong with predictions so:

Friday - Take That

Saturday - One Direction

Sunday -Taylor Swift

I want to be wrong, VERY VERY VERY wrong

I like that.

It would mean that the Other Stage would have to be - according to the laws of physics, to balance it out in a matter = dark matter kinda way to stop the cosmos imploding

Other:

FRIDAY - Bjork, Lykke Li, Grandaddy (Sophtware Slump in full), Jon Hopkins

Flying Lotus at SE Corner afterwards.

SATURDAY - Radiohead, Nick Cave, Atoms For Peace (cheeky tease for the surprise headliner).

Aphex Twin at SE Corner afterwards.

Sunday - Neil Young, Nick Cave, Portishead (they sorted out the running order themselves out of mutual respect and manners).

Bowie DJ Set at SE Corner afterwards.

Monday morning Swift, in a rare fit of drug induced spontaneity, climbs inside a giant pyre of a wicker man just before it's set aflame.

Numerous Swift followers, in a blind panic, kick into action with their only known defence of the insipid 'pure pop' 'princess':

"I know how to make them stop guys! Ready? Whenever any criticism is thrown Swifty's way, respond with a hashtag first...YOU MUST SAY 'HASHTAG OUT LOUD TOO' and a variation on the following:

"*Protagonist(s)* gonna hate hate hate hate...", etc, ad infinitum, ad nauseum.

That'll show 'em!!!! We'll be JUST like the Zionist Suicide Squad!"

[Rose-Colored Boy]

As readers will know I am always wrong with predictions so:

Friday - Take That

Saturday - One Direction

Sunday -Taylor Swift

I want to be wrong, VERY VERY VERY wrong

well you'll certainly be very wrong, but what would constitute being "very very very" wrong?

[deebeedoobee]

Gladys Knight has June 27th free on her tour this year - coincidence?

[russycarps]

Misses the point. Headline acts get the headline slot, and PJ Harvey isn't even CLOSE to being a headliner. You could take a punt on her as a sub at Glasto I think because that slot isn't exactly sacred at that particular festival. But as a headliner? Not a chance in hell.

I'd absolutely love to see Crystal Fighters to headline. They can't and won't though.

crystal castles is a terrible comparison to make though

PJ harvey has a long history with the festival, last time she played was to a huge pyramid crowd. She's won that crappy music award etc. Undoubtedly the most credible and critically acclaimed british female artist around at the moment

she wont headline like, but she's a more credible suggestion than crystal castles, who are just a band you like.

[Rose-Colored Boy]

Gladys Knight has June 27th free on her tour this year - coincidence?

in terms of the discussion of headliners? Yes.

[Woffy]

Crystal Castles have split up.

[Winslow Leach]

crystal castles is a terrible comparison to make though

PJ harvey has a long history with the festival, last time she played was to a huge pyramid crowd. She's won that crappy music award etc. Undoubtedly the most credible and critically acclaimed british female artist around at the moment

she wont headline like, but she's a more credible suggestion than crystal castles, who are just a band you like.

Nobody mentioned Crystal Castles.

[Bisque]

Crystal Castles have split up.

The voice of reason.

[Woffy]

The voice of reason.

What????

That's not my M.O.!!!???!

*Reason*

[giantkatestacks]

I'll see your PJharvey and raise you a Tori Amos/Kate Bush double header.

[stuartbert two hats]

well you'll certainly be very wrong, but what would constitute being "very very very" wrong?

They all die?

[stuartbert two hats]

I'll see your PJharvey and raise you a Tori Amos/Kate Bush double header.

Presumably Russy forgot about Kate Bush with his "Undoubtedly the most credible and critically acclaimed british female artist around at the moment"

[Rose-Colored Boy]

They all die?

see what I can do..

[Woffy]

Presumably Russy forgot about Kate Bush with his "Undoubtedly the most credible and critically acclaimed british female artist around at the moment"

She did a residency, Stu...she isn't still producing new challenging work in different and new ways at a fucking high standard.

[CaledonianGonzo]

She did a residency, Stu...she isn't still producing new challenging work in different and new ways at a fucking high standard.

50 Words For Snow is only 2 or 3 years old....

[ghostdancer1]

FRIDAY: Florence and the Machine

SATURDAY: Foo Fighters

SUNDAY: Rihanna

outside bets: Elton John, Taylor Swift, Kanye West, Coldplay, Pr*nce, Madonna

i reckon Florence and Foo Fighters are nailed on, so it's just a matter of the last headliner...

Edited February 1, 2015 by ghostdancer1