Getting over a break up?

[Bisque]

Good morning Couchy,

Just a follow up on the RN thing, if you're seriously up for it then go for it. I did 25 years, not the same job as you've been offered, but all the same it wasn't a bad career. It will certainly refocus your mind, good luck in whatever you choose to do.

Ah wow, what did you do. I am thinking about becoming a teacher after doing my stint. Initially applied for training management officer but didn't get through admiralty interview board. I have PRNC on Monday sonI guess I'll know whether it really is for me or not.

Might go see some comedy tonight in London to stop myself checking facebook as no doubt she'll be out partying on the cheap in Leeds.

[Spindles]

Wish I had some words of wisdom to give. I don't. breaking up is hard as hell and different every time for everyone. Hope it get's easier.

[oneeye]

Ah wow, what did you do. I am thinking about becoming a teacher after doing my stint. Initially applied for training management officer but didn't get through admiralty interview board. I have PRNC on Monday sonI guess I'll know whether it really is for me or not.

I did electrical engineering, basically maintaining and fixing Radar and Sonar systems; Engineering Technicians is what they call the branch nowadays.

I did toy with teaching when I left, in fact I did instruct for a while. I'm now about to start an engineering job at the metoffice of all places, may have an input to NFRNFC in the near future

Good luck Couchy in whatever path you choose to tread, and enjoy your comedy tonight

[frostypaw]

Dude there's some good advice here - but seriously cut that tie as soon as you can! Stop these conversations - it will just make the cut deeper and deeper and you can get down to places that don't heal I can tell you...

You've done the right thing moving back home. Now stop contact, rebuild some solid footing with your friends and then decide about the navy thing with a clearer head. This isn't the time to be making new long term commitments

Best wishes fella - it's a tough tough ride, but it's always better than being locked into something non-mutual.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

Hello Couchy

No need to answer this publicly, but did she give you satisfactory / sane reasons for wanting to split up? If it is because of your desire to join the navy then maybe you should take on board that that would be a valid reason for her to want to break up the relationship. I know a lot of people may be happily married in the navy, but ask yourself what's in it for her? Essentially it boils down to you going away for months on end and leaving her behind with no company. Maybe she wants / needs a full time partner. If she does and you sincerely love her then it's my view that you'd put away your navy dream for her. If you are not prepared to do that then you need to ask yourself if you really do love her.

I've been in several long term relationships and they all failed. Apart from one relationship* they all failed because at the end of the day I wasn't truly happy within myself in those relationships. I'm unbelievably happy that I got out of those relationships because I have now found someone that I would lay my life down for. Are you in that position with this lady, or was it just a comfortable relationship?

You need to ask yourself a few questions I think. Once you have answered them honestly, you'll know whether to let go or to chase after this lady.

I truly wish you (and her) the ability to see clearly what path you should take.

* Edited to say - my last girlfriend left me and not me leaving her. So, so happy that she did.

Edited October 18, 2014 by Yoghurt on a Stick

[Bisque]

I'm going to dump her stuff in her porch. I don't want to see her. Got to rent out a van to get all my stuff back from Leeds, & move it out.

She text me this evening, going to ignore it I think.

[Bisque]

No need to answer this publicly, but did she give you satisfactory / sane reasons for wanting to split up? If it is because of your desire to join the navy then maybe you should take on board that that would be a valid reason for her to want to break up the relationship. I know a lot of people may be happily married in the navy, but ask yourself what's in it for her? Essentially it boils down to you going away for months on end and leaving her behind with no company

Thanks Yog, I was struggling to find decent work in Leeds so had the Navy as a fall back. Perhaps I was just a shit boyfriend. Its been over a month now so I guess she is moving on, found someone else.

[atomised]

A wise move I think. Get some distance

[Bisque]

I don't want to be horrible to her but I'm struggling not to text her back, & I don't want to text back something sarky or cruel.

[atomised]

Better to resist sending that text. Would make you feel ok for such a short period of time.

[Katster]

Someone once told me to always wait a few hours before texting back what you think may be an inappropriate reply for at least three hours (dunno why that length of time). If you still feel like sending it then, go ahead. It kinda works in preventing knee jerk comments. Sounds like you are getting over it slowly anyway.

[t8yman]

Knock one out, then think about it.

[Bisque]

Over her? I've got a few sexy pics of her on my Mac. Is it best to move on to her best friend where she might be in the background?

[grumpyhack]

Whatever you decide you have to take control of your situation. At the moment you are still reacting to her moves.

Decide what you really want to do in your own right - not to spite her or as a reaction to the situation you are in. A hastily taken decision on the rebound isn't taking control.

Get some distance, clear your head of her and then really think about what you've always wanted to do. And good luck.

[t8yman]

Over her? I've got a few sexy pics of her on my Mac. Is it best to move on to her best friend where she might be in the background?

I would just knock one out in general, changes your outlook and clears your judgement I find.

[jump]

Over her? I've got a few sexy pics of her on my Mac. Is it best to move on to her best friend where she might be in the background?

If you want try it on with the ex's friend you can but it best not be because she's your ex's friend as that will go so badly and so quickly.

[TheGayTent]

Friend? Bad idea.

Her sister on the other hand...

[russycarps]

Friend? Bad idea.

Her sister on the other hand...

Her mother is likely to be an easier option, more likely to be flattered by the attention.

[gary1979666]

Her mother on one hand, her sister on the other...

And her dad in the wardrobe with the camcorder....

[gary1979666]

and there's the line

[kaosmark2]

But we haven't brought grandparents into it yet.

They're the mattress.

[Bisque]

I'm not going to try it on with her mates but I can always go on facebook & have some me time I suppose.

[feral chile]

Are you going to have a 'proper think' about them?

[Bisque]

Many 'proper thinks', why not?

[Bisque]

I'm really struggling tonight. She's offrered to call & she won't. Shall I hit the whisky?