Getting over a break up?

[eFestivals]

I didn't bring logic into this discussion. I think looking for logic complicates things. It's people saying it's logical to react in certain ways that got me interested. It's logical and it's not. That's as close as I can get

You started going on about how it's rational or a relationship to end when someone thinks it shouldn't.

That's your own failure of rationality.

[t8yman]

fucking hell, this got deep.

cant we talk about shitting and w*nking again?

[eFestivals]

what's irrational about a relationship ending?

If you're one half of that relationship and think it shouldn't end.... try joining up the dots.

[eFestivals]

fucking hell, this got deep.

No, it's just got stupid.

But hey, tony's involved, that's how it goes.

[eFestivals]

Of course it seems irrational, to at least one person.

whose perspective are we viewing this from?

[russycarps]

Of course it seems irrational, to at least one person. If there is anything 'ilogical' about a break-up, it could be because one side is behaving illogically or irrationally

therefore the break up is logical

no?

decisions are emotional, not logical.

[eFestivals]

both

you might be, but the rest of us aren't.

[russycarps]

they're more likely to be both

there is physiological evidence that proves that is not the case.

[eFestivals]

if anyone in a relationship doesn't try to consider why, from the other persons point of view, the relationship ended, you're not going to get very far in understanding why it happened

On a mental level he perhaps understands why it's ended.

The emotional level is something else entirely, and that's what he's trying to deal with.

[russycarps]

where's that then?

I should charge for this you know. I think over the years I've raised your IQ by at least 50 points.

http://metablog.borntothink.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/1994-Damasio-Descartes-Error.pdf

[eFestivals]

and?

you're having your own conversation about something different to the rest of us.

But, c'est la vie, with you around.

[fred quimby]

fucking hell, this got deep.

cant we talk about shitting and w*nking again?

Blumkin?

[gary1979666]

Couchy, you want something to hate her for? Read the last three pages - she caused that! Biatch!

[eFestivals]

no I'm not. I'm thinking of how Couchy might get over his loss.

Suggestions like "think of her having a shit" and "learn to hate her" seem to be the most popular options

I think it's unhelpful advice

but I'm just weird

Yep, you are. You think a break-up is always rational.

Have you told your wife that?

[t8yman]

no I'm not. I'm thinking of how Couchy might get over his loss.

Suggestions like "think of her having a shit" and "learn to hate her" seem to be the most popular options

I think it's unhelpful advice

but I'm just weird

you missed off "have a w*nk" - which is probably the best advice on this thread, admittedly my advice, but valuable nonetheless.

[eFestivals]

There's a rationality to any break up

not to how he's feeling about it, there's not.

[TheGayTent]

you missed off "have a w*nk" - which is probably the best advice on this thread, admittedly my advice, but valuable nonetheless.

Agreed.

[jump]

it'll get you through a few minutes... I'm not sure how, in the longer run, it does much good

I can also imagine it making you more depressed that you're not together.

I don't think there are any obvious answers as to how to get over a relationship. Time is your best friend, and try and get on with your life as best you can. A break up can be a starting point to any number of options you'd been holding back because of the relationship.

One of my closest colleagues at work has been dumped by her boyfriend. He 'found' someone else. She's devastated. BUT, one of the things she's doing is reflecting on how the relationship changed her in certain ways. She gave up part of what she was because she was so happy in the relationship. Realising this hasn't stopped her still feeling very sad about the break up. She realises there's nothing much she can do now except try and regain what she was before and just get on with her life. I don't think there's anything else she can do. She is still in contact with her ex, and doesn't want to not be his friend, at least.

Would it be creepy if you told her to w*nk and think of him shitting?

[russycarps]

I got half way down the first page and there's this:

"Personally beneficial decision making requires emotion as well as reason."

I'll carry on....

ok, finished. So emotion AND logic are part of the process.

I didnt think you'd comprehend it. And that was the dumbed down version for students!

Ah well.

[LondonTom]

I can also imagine it making you more depressed that you're not together.

Well you don't do it to the "homemade" stuff of you both in the toilet together obviously...

[russycarps]

if you can show me where that says decisions are not partly emotion and partly rational, I'll think again

What it's disproving is that emotions don't contribute to decision making. It doesn't say that it's the only thing that gets the 'best' decisions.

it shows it is not possible to make a solely rational, logical decisions

or perhaps you have damage to your prefrontal cortex, I'm not sure.

Edited November 5, 2014 by russycarps

[russycarps]

so when you said "decisions are emotional, not logical." to which I replied "they're more likely to be both", why did you say "there is physiological evidence that proves that is not the case."?

It disproves your last few pages of argument about logic and rationality.

[kaosmark2]

"You smell"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Do not"

"Do too!"

[russycarps]

except it doesn't.

ok

[jump]

Your mum does

She smells of w*nk and shit.