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2022 Headliners


Chrisp1986

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This act is currently touring Europe. On their fan sites insiders say they have a UK date, but they have yet to announce one. Their fans are scratching their heads to where they could be playing and why nothing has been announced.

A member of the band attends the festival every year and has a sunrise meeting with Emily every festival. 

Eight years since they last headlined.

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4 minutes ago, Matt42 said:

This act is currently touring Europe. On their fan sites insiders say they have a UK date, but they have yet to announce one. Their fans are scratching their heads to where they could be playing and why nothing has been announced.

A member of the band attends the festival every year and has a sunrise meeting with Emily every festival. 

Eight years since they last headlined.

24th in Germany, 26th in France. They're not playing 2 dates in a row the whole tour, let alone 3. They've also got a 2-3 day gap between each date on the tour. 

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2 minutes ago, chazwwe said:

24th in Germany, 26th in France. They're not playing 2 dates in a row the whole tour, let alone 3. They've also got a 2-3 day gap between each date on the tour. 

Christ Lars is going to be tired partying at the Hell Stage the morning before his set at HellFest.

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24 minutes ago, Matt42 said:

Oh god

I’ve just had another lightbulb moment.

A bit of a weird option none of us have mentioned yet. Genuinely. I can’t say it’s super likely but there’s a rationale behind it.

I want to see if anyone can guess. As a starting clue this is a genuine headline sized act here. No mental gymnastics needed to think of them in a headline capacity.

 

D32AC91A-5A01-4FE3-A92C-A28010FF61DB.jpeg

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3 minutes ago, Matt42 said:

Christ Lars is going to be tired partying at the Hell Stage the morning before his set at HellFest.

I just love this place that an act can be mentioned off the basis of very little and we all have to guess who it is, because reasons. 

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On 1/3/2022 at 4:00 PM, dentalplan said:
  • Adele (BST exclusive)
  • Arctic Monkeys (R+L)
  • Biffy Clyro (Download)
  • Bruce Springsteen (no dates yet but leaks; rumoured date for Belgium on Sunday - b2b very unlikely)
  • Coldplay (ruled themselves out)
  • Dave (R+L)
  • Dua Lipa (in Norway Sunday)
  • Eagles (in Dublin Friday, London Sunday - 3 days in a row very unlikely)
  • Ed Sheeran (in London Friday, Saturday)
  • Elton John (in London Friday, Bristol Sunday - 3 days in a row very unlikely)
  • Florence and the Machine
  • Foo Fighters (in Manchester Saturday)
  • Gorillaz (Germany Friday, Luxembourg Sunday)
  • Green Day (in UK Friday, Saturday; Dublin Monday - 4 days in a row very unlikely)
  • Guns N' Roses (in France Saturday, b2b dates in different countries very unlikely)
  • Imagine Dragons (UK exclusive show in Milton Keynes)
  • Iron Maiden (Download)
  • The Killers (too soon)
  • Kings of Leon (in Dublin Friday, Belfast Sunday)
  • Liam Gallagher (in Belfast Friday, Glasgow Sunday)
  • Metallica (in Germany Friday, France Sunday)
  • Muse (headlining IOW; in Spain Sunday)
  • Pearl Jam (in Italy Saturday)
  • Rage Against the Machine (R+L)
  • Red Hot Chili Peppers (in London Saturday and Sunday)
  • Royal Blood
  • Stormzy (too soon)
  • The Strokes

For reference, for anyone who thinks they have a name who is touring but hasn't been mentioned yet. They probably have.

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6 minutes ago, Matt42 said:

Add postie to list u coward

Can't edit.

  • Adele (BST exclusive)
  • Arctic Monkeys (R+L)
  • Biffy Clyro (Download)
  • Coldplay (ruled themselves out initially - could change)
  • Dave (R+L)
  • Dua Lipa (in Norway Sunday)
  • Eagles (in Dublin Friday, London Sunday - 3 days in a row very unlikely)
  • Ed Sheeran (in London Friday, Saturday)
  • Elton John (in London Friday, Bristol Sunday - 3 days in a row very unlikely)
  • Florence and the Machine
  • Foo Fighters (in Manchester Saturday)
  • Gorillaz (Germany Friday, Luxembourg Sunday)
  • Green Day (in UK Friday, Saturday; Dublin Monday - 4 days in a row very unlikely)
  • Guns N' Roses (in France Saturday, b2b dates in different countries very unlikely)
  • Imagine Dragons (UK exclusive show in Milton Keynes)
  • Iron Maiden (Download)
  • The Killers (too soon)
  • Kings of Leon (in Dublin Friday, Belfast Sunday)
  • Liam Gallagher (in Belfast Friday, Glasgow Sunday)
  • Metallica (in Germany Friday, France Sunday - 3 days in a row very unlikely)
  • Muse (headlining IOW; in Spain Sunday)
  • Pearl Jam (in Italy Saturday, b2b dates in different countries very unlikely)
  • Post Malone (In Portugal Sunday)
  • Rage Against the Machine (R+L)
  • Red Hot Chili Peppers (in London Saturday and Sunday)
  • Royal Blood
  • Stormzy (too soon)
  • The Strokes
Edited by dentalplan
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2 minutes ago, dentalplan said:

Can't edit.

  • Adele (BST exclusive)
  • Arctic Monkeys (R+L)
  • Biffy Clyro (Download)
  • Coldplay (ruled themselves out initially - could change)
  • Dave (R+L)
  • Dua Lipa (in Norway Sunday)
  • Eagles (in Dublin Friday, London Sunday - 3 days in a row very unlikely)
  • Ed Sheeran (in London Friday, Saturday)
  • Elton John (in London Friday, Bristol Sunday - 3 days in a row very unlikely)
  • Florence and the Machine
  • Foals
  • Foo Fighters (in Manchester Saturday)
  • Gorillaz (Germany Friday, Luxembourg Sunday)
  • Green Day (in UK Friday, Saturday; Dublin Monday - 4 days in a row very unlikely)
  • Guns N' Roses (in France Saturday, b2b dates in different countries very unlikely)
  • Imagine Dragons (UK exclusive show in Milton Keynes)
  • Iron Maiden (Download)
  • The Killers (too soon)
  • Kings of Leon (in Dublin Friday, Belfast Sunday)
  • Liam Gallagher (in Belfast Friday, Glasgow Sunday)
  • Metallica (in Germany Friday, France Sunday - 3 days in a row very unlikely)
  • Muse (headlining IOW; in Spain Sunday)
  • Pearl Jam (in Italy Saturday)
  • Post Malone (In Portugal Sunday)
  • Rage Against the Machine (R+L)
  • Red Hot Chili Peppers (in London Saturday and Sunday)
  • Royal Blood
  • Stormzy (too soon)
  • The Strokes

 

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27 minutes ago, dentalplan said:

Can't edit.

  • Adele (BST exclusive)
  • Arctic Monkeys (R+L)
  • Biffy Clyro (Download)
  • Coldplay (ruled themselves out initially - could change)
  • Dave (R+L)
  • Dua Lipa (in Norway Sunday)
  • Eagles (in Dublin Friday, London Sunday - 3 days in a row very unlikely)
  • Ed Sheeran (in London Friday, Saturday)
  • Elton John (in London Friday, Bristol Sunday - 3 days in a row very unlikely)
  • Florence and the Machine
  • Foo Fighters (in Manchester Saturday)
  • Gorillaz (Germany Friday, Luxembourg Sunday)
  • Green Day (in UK Friday, Saturday; Dublin Monday - 4 days in a row very unlikely)
  • Guns N' Roses (in France Saturday, b2b dates in different countries very unlikely)
  • Imagine Dragons (UK exclusive show in Milton Keynes)
  • Iron Maiden (Download)
  • The Killers (too soon)
  • Kings of Leon (in Dublin Friday, Belfast Sunday)
  • Liam Gallagher (in Belfast Friday, Glasgow Sunday)
  • Metallica (in Germany Friday, France Sunday - 3 days in a row very unlikely)
  • Muse (headlining IOW; in Spain Sunday)
  • Pearl Jam (in Italy Saturday, b2b dates in different countries very unlikely)
  • Post Malone (In Portugal Sunday)
  • Rage Against the Machine (R+L)
  • Red Hot Chili Peppers (in London Saturday and Sunday)
  • Royal Blood
  • Stormzy (too soon)
  • The Strokes

From this list - not taking into account the potential of some acts still with dates TBA I’d say Glasto probably have Adele, Coldplay, Ed Sheeran, Foo Fighters, Guns N Roses as their call backups before they would sink to Flo or Foals. Imagine a band subbing TRNSMT headlining Glasto in 2022. Y’all just sound like Twitter stans.

Adele’s exclusivity is unconvincing (but because people here don’t want her to play they read it as a hard contract), Coldplay (while being a really naff option, haven’t really ruled themselves out at all), Foo Fighters probably have asked to play the festival already, Ed Sheeran (while being the worst option of them all would probably step in even if it meant multiple days in a row), Guns N Roses is a nice option but I think if Glasto is seriously stuck and the Bruce thing is something indicative of the summer we are looking at, the final two headliners will be British ones.

They do have substantial British options. Even if they are not efests approved.

Edited by Matt42
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