Glastonbury Conspiracy theories

[Henrik]

I assume everyone has heard the classic one that Emily and Michael are actually the same person.

[swede]

The festival scheduled the stages this year on the Sunday  to maximize the size of Ed Sheerans crowd 

Edited July 7, 2017 by swede

[pauladam]

3 hours ago, Smeble said:

The pyramid stage is in fact the sister ship to the Black Fortress from krull, it is home to the Eavis, a slightly befuddled old man with a funny accent and short trousers,  and only appears for 5 days a year bringing joy to the chair and blanket brigade, 

This is a 1000th tweet to behold! (sorry if someone else noticed - reading thread from top)

[Lees23]

I reckon they downplay the line up on the Sunday so a good percentage head home early. 

[Tommy101]

Emily Eavis is an anagram of 'Yes, I am evil'

Just saying...

[pie_and_a_pint]

31 minutes ago, Tommy101 said:

Emily Eavis is an anagram of 'Yes, I am evil'

Just saying...

Michael Eavis is an anagram of Achieve Malis, which is why I assume there are lots of African artists on the bill each year.

It's also an anagram of Claim Heavies. Perhaps he's secretly running a firm of debt-chasing bailiffs in his spare time?

 

[markian]

1 hour ago, swede said:

The festival scheduled the stages this year on the Sunday  to maximize the size of Ed Sheerans crowd 

People complained when jay-z and again when Kanye west was on saying, Glastonbury is for guitar music. Stick a guy on this year with a guitar and they still go crazy!

[Jamie D]

Residents of the local villages actually love the festival. So much so that despite what we're led to believe, the festival is in fact on every single weekend and they open it up to the general public once a year in June.

[rinzeanne]

I understood that everyone who charged their phones at the EE tents also got a cookie installed to ensure that at ticket day in October the phone's IP adress will fail. 

This because Emily Eavis (EE... you get it...) wants to maximize the diversity of visitors and therefore rule out that you will visit Glastonbury two times in a row. 

This is why I always bring my own power bank.

[Matt42]

I don't remember making this thread

[fred quimby]

16 minutes ago, Matt42 said:

I don't remember making this thread

That's because you are Neil's alter ego 

[pie_and_a_pint]

50 minutes ago, fred quimby said:

That's because you are Neil's alter ego 

Where's Mike99?

[Guest]

8 minutes ago, pie_and_a_pint said:

Where's Mike99?

He is a bit busy at the moment. But he is around.

 

and no, it isn't me.

[pie_and_a_pint]

18 minutes ago, pilton digger said:

He is a bit busy at the moment. But he is around.

 

and no, it isn't me.

Busy, eh? 

So he's Andy Murray?

 

[Deaf Nobby Burton]

The festival actually have to pay royalties to the artists whose songs they play between bands and they now owe Pulp 7 Billion pounds.

[Guest]

55 minutes ago, pie_and_a_pint said:

Busy, eh? 

So he's Andy Murray?

 

That made me laugh for a number of reasons. Mike is not likely to take up tennis any time soon.

[swede]

6 hours ago, markian said:

People complained when jay-z and again when Kanye west was on saying, Glastonbury is for guitar music. Stick a guy on this year with a guitar and they still go crazy!

I have no problem with Ed headlining, I went, I enjoyed it but had to watch from the Mandela bar as the field was that rammed. We tried mid set to enter at the top track and stewards were down the middle of it turning it into two one way systems. At that point I'd have gone and watched someone else if there was any better options. 

London Grammer subbed John Peel that night having headlined last time, they pulled a good crowd but you could see people near the back of the tent and in the field leaving heading to Ed, Metronomy just about filled the tent, it was pretty lightweight for a John Peel headliner. 

Emile Sandes placement on the other stage was another odd one, she's a pyramid act all day long. I'm not a fan of hers but the Sunday pyramid crowd would have loved her 

The placement of acts that day was just odd late on leading upto Ed on the pyramid 

Edited July 7, 2017 by swede

[deebeedoobee]

6 hours ago, Jamie D said:

Residents of the local villages actually love the festival. So much so that despite what we're led to believe, the festival is in fact on every single weekend and they open it up to the general public once a year in June.

Damn how'd you find out? ....I blame Big Dog.... he's such a grouse

[___S_o_m_a__]

Long drop squatters believe the practice leads to enlightenment, rather than actually just leaving shit all over the seat for everyone else.

[Deaf Nobby Burton]

16 minutes ago, swede said:

I have no problem with Ed headlining, I went, I enjoyed it but had to watch from the Mandela bar as the field was that rammed. We tried mid set to enter at the top track and stewards were down the middle of it turning it into two one way systems. At that point I'd have gone and watched someone else if there was any better options. 

London Grammer subbed John Peel that night having headlined last time, they pulled a good crowd but you could see people near the back of the tent and in the field leaving heading to Ed, Metronomy just about filled the tent, it was pretty lightweight for a John Peel headliner. 

Emile Sandes placement on the other stage was another odd one, she's a pyramid act all day long. I'm not a fan of hers but the Sunday pyramid crowd would have loved her 

The placement of acts that day was just odd late on leading upto Ed on the pyramid 

I think you can definitely say 2017 was the year of the odd placement, some absolutely bizarre ones. It was still my best year though!

[swede]

20 minutes ago, Deaf Nobby Burton said:

I think you can definitely say 2017 was the year of the odd placement, some absolutely bizarre ones. It was still my best year though!

Same here, best year yet but some very odd placements this year 

[priest17]

7 hours ago, pie_and_a_pint said:

Where's Mike99?

Patience 

[priest17]

Johnny Greenwood is bald.

[stuartbert two hats]

6 hours ago, priest17 said:

Patience 

Agreed.

[LetsGoToMars]

I think security are told not to look too hard/turn a blind eye to drugs, as glastonbury want as many people as possible to have as good a time as possible to ensure they want to come back year after year.