Poo golf

[cowmadiddy]

So my friends and I like to play a game we call poo golf, it's a simple game where if you eat then you're one over par, but if you go for a poo that means you're back on par

So the winner will have somehow gone for more poos than the times they have eaten ( than anyone else) it's slightly weird but also a good way to see the long drops as a good thing - although this is a game of honesty and girls tend to win as they're sitting down anyway so may as well do a poo

I give you this game - enjoy!

Edited May 17, 2016 by cowmadiddy

[bennyboi]

I would be undisputed universal champion at this. I get into double figures some days at Glastonbury. 

[Junglist1981]

As a rough estimate I scored 18 over par last year.

Will report back in 6 weeks time.

 

[Robofish]

I tend to go one under as soon as I'm through the gate.

[balti-pie]

Ah, yer occasional cider drinkers (like me) or curry munchers (again, like me) will have a huge advantage here, as I find I tend to get a large amount of shitting done after drinking (proper cloudy, dangerous) cider - compared to beer, which just doesn't do that to me.  

I was in Derby last weekend for a mate's birthday and on the Sunday alone I had six poops. This was down in no small part to the curry I had the night before. 

[chestwig]

Beer shits should surely help with this. That and plenty of hot drinks on a morning to get the flow going. It is annoying having to shit at the festival though... Especially in them plastic porta potties, with the sun drenching through and mixture of drugs and booze they are a potential death trap.

[4AssedMonkey]

Strong coffee and traditional cider are your friends for a good score here.  Careful with too much traditional cider though (see my post in the embarrassing moments thread for details) or you'll be double figures under par, if you get my drift.

[Padgey]

13 hours ago, bennyboi said:

I would be undisputed universal champion at this. I get into double figures some days at Glastonbury. 

You're full of sh!t

[hfuhruhurr]

5 minutes ago, Padgey said:

You're full of sh!t

quite the opposite by the end of the day....

[bennyboi]

2 hours ago, Padgey said:

You're full of sh!t

 that is the sort of wit that gets me though the day. 

[Guest]

This efests' best ever thread. A work of pure art. Bravo.

I've mentioned The Great Squits of 2015 on here before, learning that I'm the Tiger Woods of poo golf  does make up for the painful memories. A weekend of over-indluging in cider and Ghandi's Flip Flop is not kind on the bumhole.

[Woffy]

I scored an albatross on FiveShitFriday last year.

[clarkete]

I used to be able to stave off for pretty much the whole festival and was pleased with myself, by eating carbs and meat.

These days I'm a bit more balanced.

[dingbat2]

My bottom is always well under par during Glastonbury

And not in a good way

[lucyginger]

I too was a bit scared of seeing what this thread was about. I commend you, good sir, on your fabulous game! I'm going to introduce it to my group and see if we can get a game going. Thank you! 

[Dave_c]

I will definitely be over par. Nothing worse than shitting on top of someone else's shit in the compost loos, it's rancid. 

[balti-pie]

16 minutes ago, Dave_c said:

I will definitely be over par. Nothing worse than shitting on top of someone else's shit in the compost loos, it's rancid. 

You old romantic, you 

[Fags]

Think i would be great at this, last year i only ate twice throughout from the Thursday to Monday. I think it's because i'm constantly drinking and i'm full up on that, it wasn't until the Saturday I ate at all last year and a friend had to point it out to me and say i really should! 

Edited May 17, 2016 by Fags

[internetjef]

Ha ha ha absolutely loving this. 

Way to put a positive spin on an otherwise terrifying ordeal 

bravo!

[morph100]

Are the sawdust drops the bunkers? Long drops water hazards? Stay out the rough if you can its bad for the environment 

[morph100]

I think everyone should shout FOUR when they drop one, would go lovely with the clanging doors....

[cowmadiddy]

29 minutes ago, morph100 said:

I think everyone should shout FOUR when they drop one, would go lovely with the clanging doors....

Now I like that addition!

[dizzymoo]

38 minutes ago, morph100 said:

Are the sawdust drops the bunkers? Long drops water hazards? Stay out the rough if you can its bad for the environment 

Would you play the poo where it lies?

[Hovis]

The introduction of imodium to my Glastonbury essentials has been possibly the best addition over my three years.  Has ruined my potential as a professional poo golfer but only having one poo a day is glorious.  

[Chris Zoidberg]

11 minutes ago, dizzymoo said:

Would you play the poo where it lies?

Winter rules, you can pick it up, wipe it off and place it down for a better lie