Overheards and Funnies

[WS_Jack_III]

For some reason we were discussing about people shitting them selves.

My best mate (funniest person I know) chips in, 'I've shit myself before, I was playing fifa online, 3-2 up in the 89th minute and I really needed to go. So I just shit myself. You've got to make those sort of sacrifices if you want to win promotion.'

Our whole group were gone with laugher for 5 minutes.

[Lipgloss and Cigarettes]

Watching Blondie, they start playing Atomic and some dude says "I haven't felt this good since Archie Gemmill scored against Holland in 1978"

Love a Trainspotting reference.

[Ommadawn]

My daughter was working as Campsite Crew and a woman walked up and asked for help. She had hit a ridge on one of the carparks which had ripped her car radiator out. After my daughter had found her the phone number of a local garage which she knew had access to the site, the woman started ranting about the 'rough fields' and how they should be 'levelled out ' next year. She then asked how she was to get back to her car and was advised she would need to walk. Another rant followed during which she demanded a lift to her car in one of the security 4x4s and that 'surely there must be some golf buggies available for hire'. Her masterstroke was to say she was 8 months pregnant even though she had a supermodel's figure. My daughter said that even the womans friend was looking embarassed at this point.

[Jules007]

My daughter was working as Campsite Crew and a woman walked up and asked for help. She had hit a ridge on one of the carparks which had ripped her car radiator out. After my daughter had found her the phone number of a local garage which she knew had access to the site, the woman started ranting about the 'rough fields' and how they should be 'levelled out ' next year. She then asked how she was to get back to her car and was advised she would need to walk. Another rant followed during which she demanded a lift to her car in one of the security 4x4s and that 'surely there must be some golf buggies available for hire'. Her masterstroke was to say she was 8 months pregnant even though she had a supermodel's figure. My daughter said that even the womans friend was looking embarassed at this point.

What a fucking princess. Urghh.

[Georgeh]

Sat outside CV late on Friday & heard a woman moaning to her fella about every being so expensive & not to mention the ticket price.

Man "don't worry it'll be half price next year"

woman "great, why's that" with excitement in her voice.

Man "because I'm coming on my own"

Edited July 1, 2014 by Georgeh

[swede]

Wednesday during the opening ceremony at the Stone Circles - just as they lit the bonfire a very drunk bening us shouted "burn the pigeon......burn the fucking pigeon down"

Walking towards Paolo Nutini from the pyramid and a guy was being helped along by his two mates, both had an arm each,he absolutely wasted but still trying to shouting at the top of his voice making absolutely no sense, his two mates laughing their heads off at him, his girlfriend then walked up and screamed "they might think your funny but your an absolute disgrace"...................to which one of the friends replied "dont have a go at him, he's in deadlock right now, it could go either way"

Just coming out of the EE Power Bar exchange and a woman tried to push in the exit, the security working the exit stopped her and this exchange happened.....

Security "The entrance is around the barriers, you'll have to go round"

Woman " But theres only three people walking round, cant I just nip in"

Security " No, I know theres only 3 people there at the moment but its still three people your pushing infront of and to be honest why are you so special to think you can push past even those three people, walk round like everyone else"

I was queuing up for the headphones for the silent disco on Saturday and the guy infront of me was trying to get something out of his bag with the £20 deposit in his mouth, while he was concentrating he kept chewing on the note without realising he'd nearly consummed all of it apart from one end. He girlfriend looked up and went "that looks weird", he looked up and caught eye contact with me still with the note in his mouth, the only thing I could say was "yeah, shes right, that does look pretty weird"

[geoffboycott]

What a fucking princess. Urghh.

Indeed, but the silver lining being she probably won't bother next year, so one more ticket chance for someone who does love it

[Lexbank]

Sat outside CV late on Friday & heard a woman moaning to her fella about every being so expensive & not to mention the ticket price.

Man "don't worry it'll be half price next year"

woman "great, why's that" with excitement in her voice.

Man "because I'm coming on my own"

Love it :-)

[jonodillieono]

A guy dressed as a big circular object with a mitsubishi logo on the centre of the circle with a name tag saying "gary abblett" at Dolly Parton

[dimus]

Heard waking through the campsite -

"Bloody hell Tim, are you shitting in a bag again?"

"Yeah!"

Also -

"So what did you think of Arcadia?"

"It was amazing, was there right in the middle for hours."

"What about the fire bursts?"

"What? It has fire?"

[Badlands]

1.

Bloke - "Is this the end of the queue mate?"

My Pal - "Dunno, I'm not from round here"

2.

Random to Steward: "Where's John Peel pal?"

Steward: "I hate to be the one to break to you but he's dead"

[Badlands]

3.

Bloke putting the stuff that dries the mud out on Saturday at Pyramid singing "My woodchip brings all the boys to the yard...."

[JGP]

We mentioned Michael Eavis quite a lot, but quite early on my friend had decided the organiser was Michael Owen so when she saw someone pissing up the wall she shouted in a drunken slur "Michael Owen's coming to get you for pissing all over his grass you dirty bastard"

[MrPink]

I was queuing up for the headphones for the silent disco on Saturday and the guy infront of me was trying to get something out of his bag with the £20 deposit in his mouth, while he was concentrating he kept chewing on the note without realising he'd nearly consummed all of it apart from one end. He girlfriend looked up and went "that looks weird", he looked up and caught eye contact with me still with the note in his mouth, the only thing I could say was "yeah, shes right, that does look pretty weird"

There was a £20 deposit? Oops...

[MichaelsBeard]

Watching Blondie, they start playing Atomic and some dude says "I haven't felt this good since Archie Gemmill scored against Holland in 1978"

At the back watching Dolly, some dude says to his mate, she might have big tits but when they are released they would hit the ground quicker than george groves in the eighth

That Atomic quote was me! Hahaha

[pentura]

Around Silver Hayes one night:

Lad #1 - "This MDMA tastes really sweet"

Lad #2 - "Have you just spent 40 quid on sugar?"

[Glastonvirgin]

Some guy shouted to his mates "I've got agoraphobia and arachnophobia, I really shouldn't be here"

This was whilst walking up to Disclosure at Arcadia, made me laugh for ages, he probably spent all year thinking that one up but fair play to him, it was a belter.

[Cheesey]

Was on my way to a water tap on Saturday morning and walked past an open tent containing a bloke lying face down with his legs sticking out of the door. As I walked past I heard him moan softly, "has anyone got any spare pants?".

[Mr Boogie]

Sat outside CV late on Friday & heard a woman moaning to her fella about every being so expensive & not to mention the ticket price.

Man "don't worry it'll be half price next year"

woman "great, why's that" with excitement in her voice.

Man "because I'm coming on my own"

This is hilarious.

[Abster]

Wed around 9.30/10pm it was getting dark...

3 guys trying to find a place to pitch their tent up, one was so drunk he was falling over the guy ropes.

Drunk guy: This patch with do

Tent owner: My tent won't fit in here its to small

Drunk: I've been doing this for 20 years I know how to put a tent up and where it will won't fit...

Tent owner: you've not seen size of my tent it won't fit here

Drunk: What you going to do if I do get it to fit?

Tent Owner: Sleep in it...

Needless to say they cleared of and where never seen or heard again...

Monday morning around 8am.... Anyone want a beer?

[Abster]

Mate over heard this as walking past a tent full of lads..

One of them pulls out an ironed shirt from his bag, others look at him and ask what is that?

It's Saturday night, I've got me shirt

[nofunciona]

Some guy talking to his mate walking away from the pyramid after AF : "I called Sophie but it didn't connect her."

Randomer, turns round and shouts: "Turns out it was just a reflektor! OHHHH!"

[stevieweevil]

two ladies whilst queuing at the flushing loos one morning.

"I might be wrong, but I think the festival is a farm when the festival isn't on"

"really?"

"I think so. I'm not sure if they take everything down once the festival is over or leave it all up?"

[cdm22]

Not a funny but i did overhear someone on Saturday ask somene else where the Other stage was! I mean, come on, its the second largest stage on the site and you have been here days already!

[dimus]

Walking past a group of lads Saturday afternoon.

Ere, remember when your gran gave me a blowjob and she loved it?

Shut up about it, now!

Not sure if they were being serious or not but I bloody hope so.