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Lineup 2016


Matt42

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I banged my knee on a table outside my flat when walking home tipsy last night. It still hurts a lot and hurts worse than the time I took the entire skin covering and a chunk of flesh out of my knee.

#willstories

The three worst pains I've experienced are as follows:

1. Having a massively infected ingrown toenail for over a year (including the removal of said ingrown toenail).

2. A series of incredible sharp pains in my stomach I got for a full night the day after some horrid circuit training at school. I went to A&E and was dismissed with "unspecified abdominal pains" (thanks pal I couldn't have worked that out myself) (this was Sc**thorpe A&E and there was a girl hiding out there cause she'd ran away from home, and her mum turned up looking for her while she hid in the department).

3. When my ankles swelled up massively at Werchter and I couldn't fit my shoes on and if anything touched them I actually could have cried my eyes out.

Here is a pic of my toenail after removal of the ingrown part :)

Snapchat-1247508893312136862_zpsnceieozj

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Your toenail is a ponce. I had both mine ripped off with forceps as I watched. The doc made a right abortion of it and so now I have to do the same again every now and then. I can't feel it as the nerves are dead. It does make anyone that watches boak though. 

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I split my ballsack open on a camping chair on the Wednesday night of reading festival 2009, went to the medical tent to have 5 stitches but before this my ball had to be injected 3 or 4 times, that was the worst of it. And I stayed until the last day of the festival, what a trooper!

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I split my ballsack open on a camping chair on the Wednesday night of reading festival 2009, went to the medical tent to have 5 stitches but before this my ball had to be injected 3 or 4 times, that was the worst of it. And I stayed until the last day of the festival, what a trooper!

 

And from now on you shall be known as Buck Shelford.  He is a legendary All Black that played on despite a Frenchman ripping his knacker sack with a boot and having one of his baws hanging out.

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I thought this was just meant to be Will parodying his usual shit stories. Why does it need to be a competition with exploding dicks and stuff? Stop it. I just wanna read people's predictions.

Yeah, I don't get how my shitty story about a banged knee turned into a pain competition.

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