Jump to content
  • Sign Up!

    Join our friendly community of music lovers and be part of the fun 😎

Overheards and Funnies


pie_and_a_pint

Recommended Posts

For some reason we were discussing about people shitting them selves.

My best mate (funniest person I know) chips in, 'I've shit myself before, I was playing fifa online, 3-2 up in the 89th minute and I really needed to go. So I just shit myself. You've got to make those sort of sacrifices if you want to win promotion.'

Our whole group were gone with laugher for 5 minutes.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 172
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

My daughter was working as Campsite Crew and a woman walked up and asked for help. She had hit a ridge on one of the carparks which had ripped her car radiator out. After my daughter had found her the phone number of a local garage which she knew had access to the site, the woman started ranting about the 'rough fields' and how they should be 'levelled out ' next year. She then asked how she was to get back to her car and was advised she would need to walk. Another rant followed during which she demanded a lift to her car in one of the security 4x4s and that 'surely there must be some golf buggies available for hire'. Her masterstroke was to say she was 8 months pregnant even though she had a supermodel's figure. My daughter said that even the womans friend was looking embarassed at this point.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My daughter was working as Campsite Crew and a woman walked up and asked for help. She had hit a ridge on one of the carparks which had ripped her car radiator out. After my daughter had found her the phone number of a local garage which she knew had access to the site, the woman started ranting about the 'rough fields' and how they should be 'levelled out ' next year. She then asked how she was to get back to her car and was advised she would need to walk. Another rant followed during which she demanded a lift to her car in one of the security 4x4s and that 'surely there must be some golf buggies available for hire'. Her masterstroke was to say she was 8 months pregnant even though she had a supermodel's figure. My daughter said that even the womans friend was looking embarassed at this point.

What a fucking princess. Urghh.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sat outside CV late on Friday & heard a woman moaning to her fella about every being so expensive & not to mention the ticket price.

Man "don't worry it'll be half price next year"

woman "great, why's that" with excitement in her voice.

Man "because I'm coming on my own"

Edited by Georgeh
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Wednesday during the opening ceremony at the Stone Circles - just as they lit the bonfire a very drunk bening us shouted "burn the pigeon......burn the fucking pigeon down"

Walking towards Paolo Nutini from the pyramid and a guy was being helped along by his two mates, both had an arm each,he absolutely wasted but still trying to shouting at the top of his voice making absolutely no sense, his two mates laughing their heads off at him, his girlfriend then walked up and screamed "they might think your funny but your an absolute disgrace"...................to which one of the friends replied "dont have a go at him, he's in deadlock right now, it could go either way"

Just coming out of the EE Power Bar exchange and a woman tried to push in the exit, the security working the exit stopped her and this exchange happened.....

Security "The entrance is around the barriers, you'll have to go round"

Woman " But theres only three people walking round, cant I just nip in"

Security " No, I know theres only 3 people there at the moment but its still three people your pushing infront of and to be honest why are you so special to think you can push past even those three people, walk round like everyone else"

I was queuing up for the headphones for the silent disco on Saturday and the guy infront of me was trying to get something out of his bag with the £20 deposit in his mouth, while he was concentrating he kept chewing on the note without realising he'd nearly consummed all of it apart from one end. He girlfriend looked up and went "that looks weird", he looked up and caught eye contact with me still with the note in his mouth, the only thing I could say was "yeah, shes right, that does look pretty weird"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sat outside CV late on Friday & heard a woman moaning to her fella about every being so expensive & not to mention the ticket price.

Man "don't worry it'll be half price next year"

woman "great, why's that" with excitement in her voice.

Man "because I'm coming on my own"

Love it :-)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Heard waking through the campsite -

"Bloody hell Tim, are you shitting in a bag again?"

"Yeah!"

Also -

"So what did you think of Arcadia?"

"It was amazing, was there right in the middle for hours."

"What about the fire bursts?"

"What? It has fire?"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We mentioned Michael Eavis quite a lot, but quite early on my friend had decided the organiser was Michael Owen so when she saw someone pissing up the wall she shouted in a drunken slur "Michael Owen's coming to get you for pissing all over his grass you dirty bastard"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I was queuing up for the headphones for the silent disco on Saturday and the guy infront of me was trying to get something out of his bag with the £20 deposit in his mouth, while he was concentrating he kept chewing on the note without realising he'd nearly consummed all of it apart from one end. He girlfriend looked up and went "that looks weird", he looked up and caught eye contact with me still with the note in his mouth, the only thing I could say was "yeah, shes right, that does look pretty weird"

There was a £20 deposit? Oops...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Watching Blondie, they start playing Atomic and some dude says "I haven't felt this good since Archie Gemmill scored against Holland in 1978"

At the back watching Dolly, some dude says to his mate, she might have big tits but when they are released they would hit the ground quicker than george groves in the eighth

That Atomic quote was me! Hahaha

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Was on my way to a water tap on Saturday morning and walked past an open tent containing a bloke lying face down with his legs sticking out of the door. As I walked past I heard him moan softly, "has anyone got any spare pants?".

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sat outside CV late on Friday & heard a woman moaning to her fella about every being so expensive & not to mention the ticket price.

Man "don't worry it'll be half price next year"

woman "great, why's that" with excitement in her voice.

Man "because I'm coming on my own"

This is hilarious.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Wed around 9.30/10pm it was getting dark...

3 guys trying to find a place to pitch their tent up, one was so drunk he was falling over the guy ropes.

Drunk guy: This patch with do

Tent owner: My tent won't fit in here its to small

Drunk: I've been doing this for 20 years I know how to put a tent up and where it will won't fit...

Tent owner: you've not seen size of my tent it won't fit here

Drunk: What you going to do if I do get it to fit?

Tent Owner: Sleep in it...

Needless to say they cleared of and where never seen or heard again...

Monday morning around 8am.... Anyone want a beer?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Unfortunately, your content contains terms that we do not allow. Please edit your content to remove the highlighted words below.
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...