Personal Worst / most embarrassing event

[bekimo]

I think my embarrassing story is that I haven't done anything I'd think of as embarrassing at Glastonbury!

Now that's a worrying thought. 2016 will get its own back on me for that one, I'm sure.

[**claire**]

10 minutes ago, Junglist1981 said:

Not me, but half my fault.

Going to the bogs on one of the old above ground long drops where you had to go up steps. Don't think they use them any more.

You could easily tell which cubicles were in use because you could see the feet under the door at eye level as you approach.

Open door number 1 - covered in shit

Open door number 2 - likewise covered in shit and god know what else

Open door number 3 - a lady with her feet up at the sides of the bog, squatting over it with a poo hanging half out, and screaming.

I moved swiftly on.

@karaseen unless you were behind door 3, it can't be that bad can it?!

[thurlow84]

I got very drunk on the saturday last year and after nipping out to use the toilet near the end of suede after using the urinal i managed to fall over in the pissy mud thats always there that late into the festval

It looked looked liked id shit myself

[Junglist1981]

Just now, karaseen said:

That was her story to tell 

 

Ha! Was it you??

[shuttlep]

11 minutes ago, karaseen said:

 

See you at the meet!!  

tease

[Joshuwarr]

Fell flat on my face in the mud around Silver Hayes in 2011. Found a clean patch of grass that my friend told me to roll around on to get the mud off but it only made the mud spread further on me. Cue lot's of laughter from crowds surrounding us.

Also the same year my friend shat himself at the silent disco in the john peel tent. He spent two hours in the portaloos cleaning himself up.

[karaseen]

23 hours ago, **claire** said:

@karaseen unless you were behind door 3, it can't be that bad can it?!

Ha!

I was at a grateful dead show in the 90s and I stupidly thought it was a good idea to wear dungarees over a bikini top.  Dungarees are difficult in the loo at the best of times - you basically have to undress and be mindful of the long straps. Don't want them touching anything! 

Hovering over a nasty American-style portaloo (think regular UK portaloo and long-drop combo-- there's no flush, just a hole where you can see everything! )  is not pleasant, so I got the wise idea to stand up on the seat and squat over the loo.  It was slippery and dangerous.  I made sure the door was locked, climbed up and was doing a simple wee when the door SPRANG OPEN!!  I had DEFINITELY locked it!  

There was a shocked, dread-locked male, looking me straight in the eye.  I must have looked  weird and naked stood on top of the seat in a bikini top with my arms full of denim fastenings. He screamed. I screamed. Then I tumbled down. Dungaree straps flailing. Bikini top breaking - boobs popping out. Covered in god knows what.

The worst thing was that the show had started, I was in the car park.  The row of portaloos went as far as the eye could see and they were all empty - of all the portloos, in the carpark, he walked into mine.

Edited May 18, 2016 by karaseen

[DefLeppard]

Two years ago, I'm slightly ashamed to admit, it got to the point where I was so lazy in the middle of the night that I'd piss in a plastic cup in my tent and put it outside... Unfortunately karma struck in a major way when the cup split severely post-urination and it leaked all over the tent. You've never seen someone make such a meal of trying to frantically unzip a tent entrance. 

[shuttlep]

2 minutes ago, karaseen said:

Ha!

I was at a grateful dead show in the 90s and I stupidly thought it was a good idea to wear dungarees over a bikini top.  Dungarees are difficult at the best of times - you basically have to undress and be mindful of the long straps. Don't want them touching anything! 

Hovering over a nasty American-style portaloo (think regular UK portaloo and long-drop combo-- there's no flush, just a hole where you can see everything! )  is not pleasant, so I got the wise idea to stand up on the seat and squat over the loo.  It was slippery and dangerous.  I made sure the door was locked, climbed up and was doing a simple wee when the door SPRANG OPEN!!  I had DEFINITELY locked it!  

There was a shocked, dread-locking male, looking me straight in the eye.  I must have looked a weird and naked stood on top of the seat in a bikini top with my arms full of denim fastenings. He screamed. I screamed. Then I tumbled down. Dungaree straps flailing. Bikini top breaking - boobs popping out. Covered in god knows what.

The worst thing was that the show had started, I was in the car park.  The row of portaloos was as far as the eye could see and they were all empty - of all the portloos, in the carpark, he walked into mine.

this is why i am grateful that in the 90's camera phones were't around. 

 

after that though not a lot can get worse

[T-Mouse]

This didnt happen to me thank god but it was without question the funniest thing i have ever seen at Glastonbury.

Its 2013. Alt J are due on the Other Stage any minute. Im tapped on the shoulder by my friend. Hes noticed that my other mates pint cup is leaking from the bottom. He makes sure our whole 15 strong group is aware of what hes about to do.

He grabs everyones attention. "Hey hey. Guys. Watch this", he says with a cheeky expression on his face. Confidence flowing through him. This is his moment. Hes got that twinkle in his eye. "This will be utterly hilarious" he says to himself.

He proceeds to bend down, open his mouth wide and catch the liquid escaping from the bottom of my friends pint cup. The cheeky expression is replaced with one of shock. Eyes wide as saucers, he realises the folly of his actions and recoils in horror. 

Little did my friend know, the liquid escaping from the bottom of the cup is urine. My other mate is not-so-slyly pissing in to his empty cup. We all see this immediately as hes stood behind us doing it. Unfortunately for poor Adam, he was stood behind and simply could not see what we saw, which led him to the assumption that the golden liquid was cool delicious lager, and not the warm stale urine of my friend.

I dont ever condone peeing on the land. We gave him grief for doing it and rightly so. But i spent the entire hour of Alt Js gig in complete hysterics. My friends has literally never been the same. Forever reliving the moment he caught piss in his mouth willingly.

[**claire**]

6 minutes ago, karaseen said:

Ha!

I was at a grateful dead show in the 90s and I stupidly thought it was a good idea to wear dungarees over a bikini top.  Dungarees are difficult at the best of times - you basically have to undress and be mindful of the long straps. Don't want them touching anything! 

Hovering over a nasty American-style portaloo (think regular UK portaloo and long-drop combo-- there's no flush, just a hole where you can see everything! )  is not pleasant, so I got the wise idea to stand up on the seat and squat over the loo.  It was slippery and dangerous.  I made sure the door was locked, climbed up and was doing a simple wee when the door SPRANG OPEN!!  I had DEFINITELY locked it!  

There was a shocked, dread-locking male, looking me straight in the eye.  I must have looked a weird and naked stood on top of the seat in a bikini top with my arms full of denim fastenings. He screamed. I screamed. Then I tumbled down. Dungaree straps flailing. Bikini top breaking - boobs popping out. Covered in god knows what.

The worst thing was that the show had started, I was in the car park.  The row of portaloos was as far as the eye could see and they were all empty - of all the portloos, in the carpark, he walked into mine.

Oh bless your heart - there's defo some thought that needs to be given to festival attire isn't there, we've all learned from our past mistakes! 

[Skoo]

4 minutes ago, T-Mouse said:

This didnt happen to me thank god but it was without question the funniest thing i have ever seen at Glastonbury.

Its 2013. Alt J are due on the Other Stage any minute. Im tapped on the shoulder by my friend. Hes noticed that my other mates pint cup is leaking from the bottom. He makes sure our whole 15 strong group is aware of what hes about to do.

He grabs everyones attention. "Hey hey. Guys. Watch this", he says with a cheeky expression on his face. Confidence flowing through him. This is his moment. Hes got that twinkle in his eye. "This will be utterly hilarious" he says to himself.

He proceeds to bend down, open his mouth wide and catch the liquid escaping from the bottom of my friends pint cup. The cheeky expression is replaced with one of shock. Eyes wide as saucers, he realises the folly of his actions and recoils in horror. 

Little did my friend know, the liquid escaping from the bottom of the cup is urine. My other mate is not-so-slyly pissing in to his empty cup. We all see this immediately as hes stood behind us doing it. Unfortunately for poor Adam, he was stood behind and simply could not see what we saw, which led him to the assumption that the golden liquid was cool delicious lager, and not the warm stale urine of my friend.

I dont ever condone peeing on the land. We gave him grief for doing it and rightly so. But i spent the entire hour of Alt Js gig in complete hysterics. My friends has literally never been the same. Forever reliving the moment he caught piss in his mouth willingly.

OMG, catching urine straight from someone's dirty, festival willy. 

[sloseph]

17 minutes ago, T-Mouse said:

This didnt happen to me thank god but it was without question the funniest thing i have ever seen at Glastonbury.

Its 2013. Alt J are due on the Other Stage any minute. Im tapped on the shoulder by my friend. Hes noticed that my other mates pint cup is leaking from the bottom. He makes sure our whole 15 strong group is aware of what hes about to do.

He grabs everyones attention. "Hey hey. Guys. Watch this", he says with a cheeky expression on his face. Confidence flowing through him. This is his moment. Hes got that twinkle in his eye. "This will be utterly hilarious" he says to himself.

He proceeds to bend down, open his mouth wide and catch the liquid escaping from the bottom of my friends pint cup. The cheeky expression is replaced with one of shock. Eyes wide as saucers, he realises the folly of his actions and recoils in horror. 

Little did my friend know, the liquid escaping from the bottom of the cup is urine. My other mate is not-so-slyly pissing in to his empty cup. We all see this immediately as hes stood behind us doing it. Unfortunately for poor Adam, he was stood behind and simply could not see what we saw, which led him to the assumption that the golden liquid was cool delicious lager, and not the warm stale urine of my friend.

I dont ever condone peeing on the land. We gave him grief for doing it and rightly so. But i spent the entire hour of Alt Js gig in complete hysterics. My friends has literally never been the same. Forever reliving the moment he caught piss in his mouth willingly.

I think we've found a winner and it's only page 2

[incident]

19 minutes ago, karaseen said:

I was at a grateful dead show in the 90s

So wait, your Glastonbury one is more graphic than that? It must be good.

 

Fairly boring for me - after the headliners I hiked up to the top of Big Ground to use the flushing toilets. Did what needed doing. Pleased with a job well done, went to the bag to get some paper.. None there. Not even anything that could be improvised.. Spent the next 30 minutes very, very carefully shuffling back to the campsite in what felt like the most uncomfortable way followed by a deeply unpleasant session with wet wipes etc. Didn't feel clean until I took a shower the next day.

[4AssedMonkey]

2009.  Got the squits from too much traditional cider (later learned this is called the sour apple quick step)  Jumping around during Madness' set on the Saturday and sharted my pants.  Quick sharp to the bogs to clean myself up and dispose of the evidence and whilst stuck in a red hot portaloo cleaning runny shit off myself with wet wipes, Madness in the distance start up "welcome to the house of fun..."  Needless to say, my mates thought it was funnier than I did.

2010.  Mild sunstroke/booze/drugs combo on Posh Friday, dressed in white trousers, boating blazer, cravat and the works.  Made it to about 1:00am then realised I was falling over a lot and struggling to talk.  Made my way out of the SE corner and must have bumped into 100 people on the way out, saying what I thought was "sorry" to all of them but apparently just grunting.  Got to Dairy Ground and couldn't find the tent.  Managed to ring my mate who was already back at camp and asleep for directions.  After falling out with him because his directions made no sense with what I was looking at flag/landmark wise, I realised I was in the wrong field by some distance.  Eventually found the tent, after falling over more guide wires than I can count from the tents.  Was awarded the Biggest Arsehole of the Weekend award for that one and had the worlds worst hangover to boot.

[karaseen]

43 minutes ago, shuttlep said:

this is why i am grateful that in the 90's camera phones were't around. 

 

after that though not a lot can get worse

Sadly my embarrassing glasto moment was worse than that, but yes camera phones = BAD

[Spindles]

Vomiting into a bin bag in my tent and having to carry it to a long drop in the morning to empty, whilst simultaneously coming closer than I have in my adult life to pissing my own pants queuing for said long drop.  

[kidpresentable]

Probably last year, getting attacked by a middle aged woman who ran an art stall in the Green Fields.

I was just trying to escape being trapped in a tight crowd at the Thursday night Billy Bragg gig, which was clearly over-subscribed. When I went to cut across the porch of a closed stall, which as far as I could tell just had a few women drinking wine outside of, one of them just completely lost it. I did try to explain!  

[shuttlep]

10 minutes ago, karaseen said:

Sadly my embarrassing glasto moment was worse than that, but yes camera phones = BAD

worse than that

 

now i have to know

[stuartbert two hats]

Can't think of anything I've been particularly embarrassed about whilst at Glastonbury. However, there's at least two or three things I've done that I'm too embarrassed to tell anyone about now 

[Chaaaris123]

I have two fairly humiliating toilet related incidents.

The first - in the week before Glasto 2013 I had the worst stomach bug imaginable. It was sleeping-on-the-bathroom-floor-only-eating-rice-for-days-bad. I thought it would be gone in 24 hours but it literally carried on for an entire week. Glastonbury was looming so I booked myself into the doctors and begged for some miracle cure knowing full well one didn't exist.

The poor GP I saw was a young girl just out of university who ended up having to put her fingers up my bum because she thought there might be a blockage only to send me away with some Imodium. 

So I get to the festival and I'm still super ill. Thursday morning about 5am and I've already been up four times to walk to the long drops and this campsite steward was obviously getting suspicious so he comes and stands right next to my tent. The fifth time I get up he's called his friend over and they discussed loudly what might have been wrong with me the whole way down to the toilets.

The second one was I literally just weed myself in denim shorts and then had to walk all the way back to the tent with the cold damp chafing sensation. 

[4AssedMonkey]

12 minutes ago, stuartbert two hats said:

Can't think of anything I've been particularly embarrassed about whilst at Glastonbury. However, there's at least two or three things I've done that I'm too embarrassed to tell anyone about now 

Watching Kanye???

[shuttlep]

2 minutes ago, Chaaaris123 said:

I have two fairly humiliating toilet related incidents.

The first - in the week before Glasto 2013 I had the worst stomach bug imaginable. It was sleeping-on-the-bathroom-floor-only-eating-rice-for-days-bad. I thought it would be gone in 24 hours but it literally carried on for an entire week. Glastonbury was looming so I booked myself into the doctors and begged for some miracle cure knowing full well one didn't exist.

The poor GP I saw was a young girl just out of university who ended up having to put her fingers up my bum because she thought there might be a blockage only to send me away with some Imodium. 

So I get to the festival and I'm still super ill. Thursday morning about 5am and I've already been up four times to walk to the long drops and this campsite steward was obviously getting suspicious so he comes and stands right next to my tent. The fifth time I get up he's called his friend over and they discussed loudly what might have been wrong with me the whole way down to the toilets.

The second one was I literally just weed myself in denim shorts and then had to walk all the way back to the tent with the cold damp chafing sensation. 

that's terrible

 

trooper though for still going

 

Imodium is your friend

[Chaaaris123]

1 minute ago, shuttlep said:

that's terrible

 

trooper though for still going

 

Imodium is your friend

I think I lost about a stone in weight! 

Although now that I've coped with that nothing else seems that bad in comparison 

[stuartbert two hats]

6 minutes ago, 4AssedMonkey said:

Watching Kanye???

Nice try, didn't go that year.