Group difficulties! Thoughts welcome

[Buddinghell]

So we're a group of 8 'friends' , 3 couples and 2 single guys. I always thought we all were pretty close friends. 

Last year my gf and I tried and succeeded to get coach tickets so that we could get everyone in on just one success in the main sale. It worked perfectly and the plan was the main sale group would take our tent as we usually queue overnight and camp at big ground. They did not end up taking our tent from the car, which was initially devastating but my gf and I still had a great festival. 

Bring round this year and no one in the group is willing to even try for coach tickets and have said that they will just try for the same 6 tickets they got last year. This just leaves me and my gf to basically try for ourselves.

I am so upset by their selfishness and lack of consideration for everyone in the group. I guess they're not as good of a group of friends as I thought. 

Just curious if other people have the same challenges with their groups or can share any kind words to help us feel better!

[Clareno7]

I can understand people not wanting to get coach tickets but maybe they can help you and your gf get coach tickets?

[Avalon_Fields]

For you to have to reach out like this, I suspect the rift is too much to easily heal and I’d seriously think about the 2 of you just doing your own thing, unless they wholeheartedly try to get you coach tickets as mentioned above. Better that than an uncomfortable get together at the festival of all 8. 

[gigpusher]

I’m a firm believer in the quote that when people show you who they are, believe them. 

They have shown themselves not to be good friends. Believe that and move on.

[BBC7BBCHEAVEN]

I wouldn't consider those friends.

Not being funny, but I've seen strangers on the internet more willing to help people they don't know than your friends are.

[Sasperella2]

More info needed I think. Are they going to help you try for coach tickets? And are you at least on a spreadsheet so they can try for you guys after getting theirs? Once you guys got coaches last year, did you pitch in helping them in the sunday sale? 

Eight is a difficult number. Obvs two groups of four is fairest, but in reality if one of the other four got in they may be tempted to add the other two anyway. 

To me the bigger crime is the tent issue! Unforgivable. 

[Joshuwarr]

Is it really that big of a deal? I know some of us live and breathe the experience but I have friends who'd always just opt for general sale and still have a blast. I think if you respond nicely to their decision but explain you'd love the help in the coach sale and then, in return, you'll help them in the general sale if successful I'm sure they might be open to that? If not then maybe that does say something about them.

[stuie]

Only you know the worth of these friendships, so it's difficult to answer really.

I've got friends who I'd never expect to behave like that and I'd be devastated if they did.  On the other hand, with some friends it wouldn't surprise me at all. 

The one thing I would say is talk it through.  If you feel you've been wronged and they've been sh*tty then do tell them.  I find it so disappointing when people clearly have a problem but don't tell you what it is or what you've done wrong. 

 

[Buddinghell]

Thanks for all the replies. 

I am just disappointed none of our group decided to go by the coach for the good of everyone in the group this year. And once again showed no care for us. 

We do have others interested this year too so a commitment from 4 in the group to try to go via coach would have helped immensely all of our chances.

Once upon a time they were never interested, this year I will just be trying for me, my gf and 2 newcomers. Sounds selfish but I would be upset if the rest got tickets and we did not. 

I thought friends as close as we all are would make sacrifices for each other from time to time. 

[Sasperella2]

7 minutes ago, Buddinghell said:

Thanks for all the replies. 

I am just disappointed none of our group decided to go by the coach for the good of everyone in the group this year. And once again showed no care for us. 

We do have others interested this year too so a commitment from 4 in the group to try to go via coach would have helped immensely all of our chances.

Once upon a time they were never interested, this year I will just be trying for me, my gf and 2 newcomers. Sounds selfish but I would be upset if the rest got tickets and we did not. 

I thought friends as close as we all are would make sacrifices for each other from time to time. 

I don't think you should be upset if they dont wanna go on the coach? We have a big crew and its usually only three of us who go for coaches and thats because we personally want an extra shot at getting in! If successful it does help on the main sale obviously, but you cant expect it.

Sounds like you now have one 6 and one 4. Of course it will be sh*t if one crew gets in and not the other, but thats just the way it goes. 

[gigpusher]

42 minutes ago, Buddinghell said:

Thanks for all the replies. 

I am just disappointed none of our group decided to go by the coach for the good of everyone in the group this year. And once again showed no care for us. 

We do have others interested this year too so a commitment from 4 in the group to try to go via coach would have helped immensely all of our chances.

Once upon a time they were never interested, this year I will just be trying for me, my gf and 2 newcomers. Sounds selfish but I would be upset if the rest got tickets and we did not. 

I thought friends as close as we all are would make sacrifices for each other from time to time. 

I wouldn’t be upset that they don’t want to go on the coach. I would be upset that they aren’t willing to help you try. The coach isn’t for everyone for a whole host of reasons but I would always help out in every sale to help my friends. 

Good luck in the coach sale and if you do get them I’d help a stranger on the internet on the Sunday rather than help your so called friends. 

[clarkete]

7 hours ago, Buddinghell said:

So we're a group of 8 'friends' , 3 couples and 2 single guys. I always thought we all were pretty close friends. 

Last year my gf and I tried and succeeded to get coach tickets so that we could get everyone in on just one success in the main sale. It worked perfectly and the plan was the main sale group would take our tent as we usually queue overnight and camp at big ground. They did not end up taking our tent from the car, which was initially devastating but my gf and I still had a great festival. 

Bring round this year and no one in the group is willing to even try for coach tickets and have said that they will just try for the same 6 tickets they got last year. This just leaves me and my gf to basically try for ourselves.

I am so upset by their selfishness and lack of consideration for everyone in the group. I guess they're not as good of a group of friends as I thought. 

Just curious if other people have the same challenges with their groups or can share any kind words to help us feel better!

Crikey this is like an AITA thread of it's own and of course you're NTA.  

We've all had times that friends didn't want the same tickets, or some only want car. 

The tent thing was clearly annoying, but without a little more context, was that them needing to bring their stuff and your tent too?  Whilst most would of course hope for that, they could have been struggling already? 

In terms of a ticket group - you clearly know who to trust, but if your others succeed you can still do nice things together? 

[fred quimby]

Invite them around for a beef and mushroom wellington

[aj6658]

If it was communicated and agreed that your tent would be taken, then thats sh*tty. Its lazy. You had a great festival so wouldn't let it eat you up.

Do not see the issue with them not getting coach tickets - I have friends who aren't going for coach because they like the flexibility and ease of a car. The choice of transport is up to the individual

I would say that if they are not trying for you in coach, why should you try for them in main?

 

 

[Helsbels]

1 hour ago, fred quimby said:

Invite them around for a beef and mushroom wellington

Haha, indeed