Getting over a break up?

[zahidf]

I'm really struggling tonight. She's offrered to call & she won't. Shall I hit the whisky?

not worth it

buy yourself something nice on amazon

[Bisque]

I have a bottle of Teachers & Cheryl Cole looking at me.

[LondonTom]

I'm really struggling tonight. She's offrered to call & she won't. Shall I hit the whisky?

Just hide the phone first, change your facebook password and hide it somewhere you won't find it while drunk

[t8yman]

I'm really struggling tonight. She's offrered to call & she won't. Shall I hit the whisky?

So you've decided not to heed the advice to ignore her? You cant begin to get over it until you understand its over. Sorry to sound harsh.

[jump]

I'm really struggling tonight. She's offrered to call & she won't. Shall I hit the whisky?

If you can't ignore her why not just hate her? It may sound stupid but hating an ex is a far more normal reaction than trying to get their attention and constantly spurned.

She's a bitch a who has broke your heart after you gave up a lot of your life for her and now she's playing silly buggers, txt her "You're a c**t, and you can go fuck yourself" then wipe your hands clean of her.

[gary1979666]

Delete her number, then you can't call text her.

We've all had big break ups like that and cold turkey is the only way to do it. My ex of 6months split up with me and then proceeded to go out with my best mate....15 years later, I'm married to her housemate at the time. Life has a funny way of working out.

Cut the cord bud.

[russycarps]

Delete her number, block her on all social media. Delete the nudey photos of her you have on your harddrive.

Whenever you get the urge to contact her, log on to xhamster and tear the head off it. It will help you think more clearly.

Is there not a trashy bar you can go to with your mates to get some female attention elsewhere? I think this will help you move on.

[jump]

A load of pointless wasted energy, which is very unlikely to help at all.

Why is she a bitch? Because she doesn't like 'you' anymore?

There's lots of supposed 'normal' behaviour that is far from helpful. I'd have thought considering how you would like the situation to progress (disregarding getting back together) would be more useful than falling into a hole of hate

In this situation I think actually being pissed off with her is far more healthy than this obsession/neediness over her. Being pissed off and angry is a stage of grief which is on the way to acceptance which is the ultimate goal, if you can't be angry with them at the least be angry with the situation.

[jump]

That's very different to what you suggested, and I agree

Well it doesn't work as well when it's spelled out but I still say he should txt she's a c**t for breaking his heart, this lets be friends stuff isn't working and he's not able to ignore her.

[viberunner]

The five stages of getting over a breakup

1. Denial

2. Anger

3. Bargaining

4. Depression

5. Acceptance

After 5 comes new totty so it's all good in the end.

[Bisque]

I need the 6 new totty please? Send it all my way

[jump]

The five stages of getting over a breakup

1. Denial

2. Anger

3. Bargaining

4. Depression

5. Acceptance

After 5 comes new totty so it's all good in the end.

It's missing trying to make the ex jealous.

[jump]

He doesn't need to be friends (although that can work in some instances), but you don't need to be enemies either.

He loved her. She's still the same person. Why would he hate her now?

It helps to take away the she's perfect image and it's easier to not want to be with someone if you dislike them (hate is probably too strong a word for this but it works). I'm not saying everyone who breaks up must hate their ex, my first bit of advice was go on a bender with your mates and ignore her but in this case these aren't options and they are still struggling so they need a different option.

[russycarps]

He doesn't need to be friends (although that can work in some instances), but you don't need to be enemies either.

He loved her. She's still the same person. Why would he hate her now?

it's a defence mechanism that some people use to get over break ups and allow them to move on more quickly without dwelling on the past I suspect.

If you convince yourself someone is unpleasant then you are less likely to sit in your bedroom listening to the poignant lyrics of lionel richie, crying your eyes out while looking at old photos and moaning to strangers on the internet about wanting to get back with her.

This girl is an evil witch and couchy can do better. Possibly.

[atomised]

It's true, whilst hate is a strong word developing a disliking of an ex can be a useful tool. It can be the case that after a break up you're still focussing on their positives.

It is possible to stay friends but its certainly far from easy and doesn't suit couchys situation at all

[Katster]

Indifference is a much healthier way to view an ex than hate/dislike. If you hate/dislike someone they mean something to you. Indifference proves they mean shit

[russycarps]

Indifference is a much healthier way to view an ex than hate/dislike. If you hate/dislike someone they mean something to you. Indifference proves they mean shit

indifference is a hard emotion to force though. Dislike is much easier. Just focus on her negative points, of which I am sure there were many.

[gary1979666]

Post a pic of her here and I'm sure we can point out some things to hate!! Or imagine her kicking some kittens......how could she, the bitch!

[fred quimby]

I hate her already

[Bisque]

Thanks guys. I am taking this all in. I've got to go back up to Leeds on Thursday to get all the crap out of my room. Four hours driving up in a Transit (my Dad paid so we can share driving) & then moving out I'm not looking forward too at all, plus my room was on first floor.

I'm not going to see her.

[russycarps]

Thanks guys. I am taking this all in. I've got to go back up to Leeds on Thursday to get all the crap out of my room. Four hours driving up in a Transit (my Dad paid so we can share driving) & then moving out I'm not looking forward too at all, plus my room was on first floor.

I'm not going to see her.

Presumably the awful wretch wont be there while you're moving out?

[Bisque]

Its going to take all day so coming back the next day, but I'll dump her stuff in her porch whilst she's at work.

I've got some much rubbish I need to remove & my Dad hasn't fully recovered from his scaffold fall. Going to be weird seeing my old housemates again too.

Edit: we didn't live together, but just round the corner, we were looking at flats only a couple of months ago

Edited November 4, 2014 by Couchy

[feral chile]

I feel uneasy with the hate thing. Won't it ruin everything you had? It's one thin trying to accept that she couldn't have been right for you, ut bitterness towards someone you cared about?

[russycarps]

I feel uneasy with the hate thing. Won't it ruin everything you had? It's one thin trying to accept that she couldn't have been right for you, ut bitterness towards someone you cared about?

It's just a short term coping mechanism I think. I suspect when he's 'moved on' he will look back on the relationship with whatever fondness it deserves.

He's struggling now though, so focusing on her negatives could help.

[Bisque]

I don't think she had any negatives, she was always so lovely & a good friend.