A Glastonbury honeymoon conundrum

[Josh1741]

Glastonbury Festival, how great thou art.

I am writing to you in the faint hope you can offer a solution to my T-Rex size conundrum.

Jackie (my fiancé) and I are planning to have our honeymoon at Glastonbury 2015 with a group of our nearest and dearest family and friends that are gathering from across the seven seas; on Sunday bloody Sunday we all managed to get tickets except the bride to be! As you can imagine she had a primal scream and now she is simply red with disappointment, in a blur of sadness. It has made me feel like smashing pumpkins to a pulp.

Jackie has been the driving force behind this honeymoon oasis, the wonderful mother of my daughter, she is a Northern blondie who now lives in Australia with me. As a passionate lover of Glastonbury, the prodigy of festivals, she has arranged the wedding in Europe, in June, specifically to allow us to honeymoon at Glastonbury. In her typically kind hearted manner, always considering the group over herself, whilst organising the web of bookers she did not align herself to any specific group of six, and thus everyone got a ticket except for her. The irony stings like a massive attack from a band of gorillaz, as I’m sure U2 can imagine.

Jackie has often mused that Glastonbury is a test of one’s strength of will, from the scramble for tickets, through to the bus ride home, a myriad of challenges, with the madness of the weather report and the killer traffic; but the sheer unadulterated joy that the week brings is second to none. Cold play in the mud, listening to the finest tunes that make you dance like a little dragon with psychedelic fur at the apex of the pyramid of life, to the point where you feel like you have a radio head! Glastonbury 2015 is shaping to be the most trying yet, and thus (we pray) the best yet. I sense Glastonbury 2015 is forming as a metaphor of our future marriage, my ability to be the rock in the roll of that new order is being tested today.

I do hope that the wondrous rolling stone that is Glastonbury Festival can somehow swing the pendulum of life in the favour of the special kind hearted pixie that is my wonderful wife to be.

Please, please, please, help us rise from the ash, show me the cure and we can all have a happy Monday!

With great respect,

Josh

[russycarps]

so you sorted yourself out and not your wife to be? Amazing.

If this experience is indeed an indication of how things will go in your future married life then I feel sorry for her having such an inconsiderate husband.

You can do nothing until the resale. Just all try and get a ticket for her then. Failing that, in one of the secret resales afterwards.

Otherwise, all club together and buy her one of the glamping tickets.

[Kellg80]

I will defiantly help in the resale, as I'm sure many will.

[stuartbert two hats]

Defiantly??

Who will you be defying?

It's the most amusing common misspelling there is!

[Padgey]

I do sympathise, but can't help thinking how the f*** can you miss yourself off?! But that is past and nothing can be done about it so if it's a genuine story then surely the Efestys will come together and get that final, most important, piece of the jigsaw.

[stardustjunkie]

How on Earth did the groom and all the family get tickets but the bride didn't? Why wasn't she in the first lot of tickets bought? The bride and groom are pretty key to a honeymoon.

[POKERDUDE]

you're in dire straits, but I know the cure .... etc etc

put the wedding off for a year

[oneeye]

In her typically kind hearted manner, always considering the group over herself, whilst organising the web of bookers she did not align herself to any specific group of six, and thus everyone got a ticket except for her.

Reeks of inexperience!

Good luck in the the re-sale Josh, but more importantly have a great wedding and honeymoon whatever the outcome

[ryan.smith]

Yes what a daft plan, you 2 should have been the ones guaranteed to be in the top 6! Everyone else interchangeable - madness!

[UEF]

Yeah, everyone knows if you're doing the organising then your name is the first on the spreadsheet!

[Doug85]

As above i'm surprised you didnt make sure your wife to be got tickets when you did. That being said that would be an amazing honeymoon and I hope you get sorted.

My wedding anniversary falls on the weekend of Glastonbury and as the wife has had a tough year with family etc we had discussed what better way to renew your vows than at Glastonbury. Unfortunately neither of us got tickets so that has quashed our plans a bit. I'm hoping that we get lucky in the resales and then we can end what has been a tricky year on a bit of a high. I'm not optimistic at the moment though

[stuartbert two hats]

Is that a common one?? I never realised. Presumed it was a typo on predictive or something. It doesn't even look like it should sound right. If it was 'definatly' I could understand it, but defiantly?

I think it's a physical keyboard typo. I type it all the time. I think it's because as you type the word, your little finger is resting just over the "a", but your right index finger has been dragged away from the "n" by pressing the "i". Result, the "a" is pressed sooner than it should, inverting the "n" and "a", making certainty seem like opposition.

[russycarps]

As above i'm surprised you didnt make sure your wife to be got tickets when you did. That being said that would be an amazing honeymoon and I hope you get sorted.

My wedding anniversary falls on the weekend of Glastonbury and as the wife has had a tough year with family etc we had discussed what better way to renew your vows than at Glastonbury. Unfortunately neither of us got tickets so that has quashed our plans a bit. I'm hoping that we get lucky in the resales and then we can end what has been a tricky year on a bit of a high. I'm not optimistic at the moment though

Sorry to hear this, but hanging around this forum from April onwards will give you a very good chance of getting tickets. There are unannounced resales that are always reported here first.

Good luck!

[Gnomicide]

Defiantly??

Who will you be defying?

It's the most amusing common misspelling there is!

Is that a common one?? I never realised. Presumed it was a typo on predictive or something. It doesn't even look like it should sound right. If it was 'definatly' I could understand it, but defiantly?

Whack it it to Twitter. Half the world is defiantly doing something or other....

"This is defiantly true guys!! Never ever give up on your dream, goals or ambitions !!!"

"... defiantly buying your album."

"I defiantly can't sleep"

"OMG STOP POSTING CLOWN PICTURES ON MY TL. Defiantly having nightmares tonight, thanks guys."

"If you can't find time for me, I will defiantly not have the time for you."

Edited October 10, 2014 by Gnomicide

[Justiceforcedave]

Yeah, everyone knows if you're doing the organising then your name is the first on the spreadsheet!

I'm glad everyone else has a spreadheet too.

[___S_o_m_a__]

[ICGenie]

Who invites other people to their honeymoon?! Weird...

[LondonTom]

Jackie has been the driving force behind this honeymoon oasis, the wonderful mother of my daughter, she is a Northern blondie who now lives in Australia with me. As a passionate lover of Glastonbury, the prodigy of festivals,

Really?! The Prodigy is the best comparison, you could think of?! Are you really saying Glastonbury is like just a couple of old guys shouting over a cd?!

Actually ...

"If you can't find time for me, I will defiantly not have the time for you."

[fatyeti24]

Trying to elicit help and sympathy by using so many puns is a, well, um..

I'll just wish you well and leave it at that.

[Swine_Glasto2014]

Chuck your details my way, will be twenty or so of us trying for you.

Epic epic fail but one that I would quite easily do myself.

Good plan chap

[jonodillieono]

Is this a geniune thing or just a way of getting as many puns into a story as possible?

Either way i enjoyed the read

Edited October 10, 2014 by jonodillieono

[Gnomicide]

To be fair, if I was the bride and read that original post, I'd want to stay at home.

[___S_o_m_a__]

To be fair, if I was the bride and read that original post, I'd want to stay at home.

For the honeymoon or the wedding?

[Gnomicide]

For the honeymoon or the wedding?

Just the honymoon. Wouldn't want to miss a good do.

[Slugworth]

Who in their right mind would get married in the first place?