Funny things overheard at the festival

[MichaelsBeard]

Always a cracking thread this. Let's hear them then...?!

[alex6992]

Was smoking a little something in the healing fields and some guys went past us and we heard "someone's smoking some of the good shit". Made me chuckle.

[Samhodson95]

"Who needs knives and forks when you've got e's"

Was a genuine response I got from a stranger behind me when I asked a friend for a fork he'd just got from a food place.. hahahahaa set the tone for the week as this was 9am Wednesday

[Simo71]

Walking through the crowd to get to the pyramid stage I heard this...

 

"I heard the crowd is only this big because Lionel Richie has a 15 foot penis"

 

No idea why, but it made me laugh.

[Staff_Sav]

Heard someone walking between the other stage towards the pyramid, with his flag up saying "Glastonbury is all about the Pyramid stage"

I guess all that time I spent in the craft and healing fields, and any of the other stages was an absolute waste of time then!

I also bought a raffle ticket off a man to try and win an imaginary dog, but I don't think I won

[MichaelsBeard]

"You tell me where in the Koran it says I can't take Charlie?!" An Islamic man to his friend.

"We can just start with a bum?" Some lad to his girlfriend when she was questioning the hygenie of having sex on the final night.

"You're just a shit Dalai Lama" chanted to the Bishop of Bath while he was doing a speech on the Pyramid straight after Lionel.

*During I Can See For Miles by The Who* "Good for you, I can't see fuck all mate!"

[ForgotBloodyUsername]

BBC Introducing

Girl 1: So we never heard who replaced Florence?

Girl 2: The Stones

Girl 1: Oh yeah!

Then they both skipped off.

[jed123]

*During I Can See For Miles by The Who* "Good for you, I can't see fuck all mate!"

Where were you during The Who? I think this may have been me haha

[alex6992]

My friend was also singing The Rains of Castamere at the top of his lungs on the way to Shangri La on Sunday night, I really hope people heard that.

[Staff_Sav]

Where were you during The Who? I think this may have been me haha

I think everyone in our group said the same thing as well

[MichaelsBeard]

Where were you during The Who? I think this may have been me haha

Stood just over from the urinals at the back on the left hand side. Where you with a group of about 5 out your trolley on Mandy?

[found home in 2009]

during Mothership they brought a guy on stage who was wearing a massive fish costume and danced about for a song.

Lad next to me turned to his mate and said "I think I've smoked too much". Other bloke agreed and they left. They previously looked liked they'd been having a brilliant time. Timing may have been coincidence but I'm convinced the fish costume guy on stage scared them away,

[jed123]

Stood just over from the urinals at the back on the left hand side. Where you with a group of about 5 out your trolley on Mandy?

Ahh wasn't me then! Was at the back of front circle. Hay fever played up ridiculously bad and I couldn't open my left eye from about 4pm, so genuinely couldn't see a thing! 

[nicknickmm]

"I'll just watch it on the iPlayer" as walking away from the Pyramid!

[Titters2]

Waiting for Alt-J, the sound system played Hey Jude...

Lad 1: Who sang this again?

Lad 2: Beatles

Lad 1: Ah, yeah. I remember.

[Brave Sir Robin]

"I really wanted to take the piss out of him, but he kept giving me rum"

 

"Sorry mate, out of balloons. Do you want some acid instead?"

Edited June 30, 2015 by Brave Sir Robin

[EighteenSixty7]

A lad to his mate in the queue at Gate A at the zig zag bit, "I now know how the people on Rollercoaster Tycoon feel when they're queueing up for rides".

[scrippit]

Young lad to me outside Genosys,

"Is this the Pyramid mate?"

It was on Sunday night...

[fatyeti24]

"i don't know what the fuck is going on, i just know i'm in my favourite place in the world"

 

in block 9, very late.

 

 

"that's not Taylor Swift"

 

as a peroxide-topped Timmy Burgess came out with the Charlies on Friday morning.

[Winslow Leach]

Went to the loo at one point to find a man standing by the entrance, pointing to the piss filled troughs and yelling "Look, it's Urinal Richie! Give us a song Urinal!"

[poison69]

Guy passes phone to me...

 

Guy: Does that say Ben (space) Hur on there

 

Me: Dunno, It's yr password mate so its all asterisks

[St.A.to.Z]

''There's not a single bad scene in the film Pretty Woman''

Slightly cheating as it was a lad camped with us but I still overheard it.

[pie_and_a_pint]

Not funny really, more touching. Middle aged bloke on Sunday, near Acoustic, just after Pride had finished in the Pilton Palais:

 

'Bloody hell, that film... it just... it was... I've just CRIED. All the way through a FILM.' His mates just look at him, then look and each other, then say 'Let's go and get a beer then, come on'.

[deebeedoobee]

Myself and 2 others trying to walk towards the Pyramid field after Kanye West had finished - we seemed to be the only people going against the flow. Boys says to girl "this must be what it feels like to be sperm". Girl says " yer but you're a fighter!"

[TheNewUnion]

To lads walking across T&C, one looks up and points at a spotlight

"What's that white thing over there la?"

Then he toddles off to a security guy, points at the light and asks the same question.

I think they may have been well mediated by that point in the evening.