The virtual campfire is here

[fatyeti24]

That's better!! Yes please, white, two sugars. Anyone know where we can get some milk round here?

you won't get milk round here, what do you think it is, a dairy farm or something?

[Morse Code]

See above! (You can't do joking about things like that very well when you're typing, it turns out!)

Ha ha don't worry. I have a much thicker skin than that and would've stayed anyway!

[jimmyt]

That's better!! Yes please, white, two sugars. Anyone know where we can get some milk round here?

That's a dangerous question with some of this lot!

[FuddyMucker]

Just dropped by with some home-made sloe gin... Fabulous stuff, pure, so no hangovers...!

Gets a few strange looks in the Autumn when you queue up to pay for 6x1.5 litres of bargain basement gin...

[Morse Code]

That's a dangerous question with some of this lot!

Mmmm nice tea. Bit salty though......

[jimmyt]

Phew! Well I'm very relieved that Morse Code is back. As soon as I posted my message I realised it wouldn't sound like a joke. Still, it reminds me of one of my favourite campfire stories:

It must've been Reading 1999. We had a group of about 30 of us camping together (I'm from Reading so a group this size was pretty normal). Now, often I develop a catchphrase at festivals, not really sure how they start; one year at Glastonbury I spent the whole weekend threatening to "put [people] in cages and poke 'em with sticks" in a dreadful west-country accent. Anyway, at this Reading myself and a mate (Ed - never see him these days apart from bumping into him at festivals - last time I saw him he was doing the lighting for Florence at Reading - truly a top ligger) spent the whole weekend tapping people's shoulders or shouting at them so that they would would look at us and we could say "Ah! You've got to turnaround" and then we'd pretend to be Phats and Smalls (the extra pluralising was important to us).

So this then developed into us telling everyone that the Red Hot Chilli Peppers had cancelled but that they needn't worry as Phats and Smalls had stepped into the breach along with their friends Shanks and Bigfoots. We thought this was hilarious, most people humoured us. Thus, on the Sunday morning we were all sat playing drinking games around the campfire we'd successfully kept aflame for a good three days when a lone day ticket holder with a RHCP t-shirt came wandering along the track past our camp. I couldn't resist and ran over to him.

"Oh no! You haven't heard?!" I exclaimed to him.

"Heard what?" He replied.

"About the Chillis. They've had to pull out."

"Oh shit. Who's headlining now?" enquired the poor loner.

"Oh you've got nothing to worry about. Phats and Smalls are headlining with their "You've got to turnaround" song"

"What?! Oh fuck!" he moaned.

"No, but wait. Their mates Shanks and Bigfoots are going to play with them. It's gonna be sweet like chocolate!" I explained.

With that, he simply turned around and started walking off site. We were laughing then realised he was actually going to leave so I had to run after him and explain my utter stupidity to him. Fortunately, a couple of cans by the campfire and some absinthe and he forgave me.

Of course, about twelve hours later we all wished RHCP really had cancelled. Phats and Smalls would have been much better.

Edited April 12, 2013 by jimmyt

[ian the worm]

Mmmm nice tea. Bit salty though......

Sorry about that.

[Morse Code]

Phew! Well I'm very relieved that Morse Code is back. As soon as I posted my message I realised it wouldn't sound like a joke. Still, it reminds me of one of my favourite campfire stories:

It must've been Reading 1999. We had a group of about 30 of us camping together (I'm from Reading so a group this size was pretty normal). Now, often I develop a catchphrase at festivals, not really sure how they start; one year at Glastonbury I spent the whole weekend threatening to "put [people] in cages and poke 'em with sticks" in a dreadful west-country accent. Anyway, at this Reading myself and a mate (Ed - never see him these days apart from bumping into him at festivals - last time I saw him he was doing the lighting for Florence at Reading - truly a top ligger) spent the whole weekend tapping people's shoulders or shouting at them so that they would would look at us and we could say "Ah! You've got to turnaround" and then we'd pretend to be Phats and Smalls (the extra pluralising was important to us).

So this then developed into us telling everyone that the Red Hot Chilli Peppers had cancelled but that they needn't worry as Phats and Smalls had stepped into the breach along with their friends Shanks and Bigfoots. We thought this was hilarious, most people humoured us. Thus, on the Sunday morning we were all sat playing drinking games around the campfire we'd successfully kept aflame for a good three days when a lone day ticket holder with a RHCP t-shirt came wandering along the track past our camp. I couldn't resist and ran over to him.

"Oh no! You haven't heard?!" I exclaimed to him.

"Heard what?" He replied.

"About the Chillis. They've had to pull out."

"Oh shit. Who's headlining now?" enquired the poor loner.

"Oh you've got nothing to worry about. Phats and Smalls are headlining with their "You've got to turnaround" song"

"What?! Oh fuck!" he moaned.

"No, but wait. Their mates Shanks and Bigfoots are going to play with them. It's gonna be sweet like chocolate!" I explained.

With that, he simply turned around and started walking off site. We were laughing then realised he was actually going to leave so I had to run after him and explain my utter stupidity to him. Fortunately, a couple of cans by the campfire and some absinthe and he forgave me.

Of course, about twelve hours later we all wished RHCP really had cancelled. Phats and Smalls would have been much better.

Ok, how about I promise to forgive you in exchange for a couple of cans and some absinthe?

Actually, I would rather like to be sat round a camp fire with some cans and a bottle of absinthe right now!

Edited April 12, 2013 by Morse Code

[guypjfreak]

Just dropped by with some home-made sloe gin... Fabulous stuff, pure, so no hangovers...!

Gets a few strange looks in the Autumn when you queue up to pay for 6x1.5 litres of bargain basement gin...

no hang overs ......im in old son many thanks

[mandolin]

Sorry I'm late went for a bit of a bimble for a couple of days. Someone mention absinthe?

[jimmyt]

Ok, how about I promise to forgive you in exchange for a couple of cans and some absinthe?

Actually, I would rather like to be sat round a camp fire with some cans and a bottle of absinthe right now!

Sounds reasonable. Don't drink too much of the absinthe, though. I have another story that goes with that!

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

Hello again everybody. That fire is still looking good. I've come to the conclusion that the balance of my mind is disturbed. How are you lot doing? Are those biscuits?

[Krazypinkminx]

Kettles on, anyone for a cuppa cha?

[ian the worm]

Chai Chai?

[Krazypinkminx]

Yeah that I am on a 1900s brick phone, its hard work

[ian the worm]

well put the phone down, get the chai round and sing us a song!

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

Yes - not much left now though im afraid - some greedy peeps have had all the jaffa cakes ( including the end one turned the other way). We do have a few pink panthers and choco digestive though...unless you mean disco biscuits?

I'm OK for disco biscuits thanks. I've got a few mushrooms here if anybody is interested? Not selling. Just if you want some, I've got some. It's great to be here again. Let the carnival begin, every pleasure every sin.

[dingbat2]

Notice how the last jaffa cake in each packet faces the other way?

After the jaffa cake design team spent ages trying to adjust the chocolate recipe to avoid it melting by the the plastic heat sealer, an assembly line engineer (like me) just made a machine that flipped the 15th one over. - Thus not melting the chocolate or changing the recipe. You'll never stop noticing it now. (Not applicable to super market brands).

They have been doing that with sliced bread for years. It's even more complicated because each end faces a different way and the middle bits are a different shape altogether,. Tha machine that inserts each end must the the best invention since...

[Morse Code]

Sounds reasonable. Don't drink too much of the absinthe, though. I have another story that goes with that!

Wow that absinthe is good. I just lost a whole 24 hours!

[jimmyt]

Wow that absinthe is good. I just lost a whole 24 hours!

Which one of you three said that?!

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

So when are we gonna all start having a gang bang?

Well, assuming we all synchronise our watches correctly, then right now is good for me! I work it out that if I'm on my usual form, I'll be done by 12.56. That leaves me 4 minutes to run off and have my lunch at 1pm.

[jimmyt]

So when are we gonna all start having a gang bang?

Just before we have a ball.

[fatyeti24]

what are everybody's thoughts about filming the gang bang on an ipad?

[ian the worm]

I'm up for it

[Morse Code]

what are everybody's thoughts about filming the gang bang on an ipad?

Rather like my view of filming a gig on one. As long as you don't get in the way and leave me to enjoy the moment, I'm fine with it!