Best Conversations Of Glastonbury 2011

[Oddone]

These are brilliant folks keep them coming.

[rachface1]

while we were pumping up our matress with our hand pump there was a guy wondering around looking confused, he then came over to us and said "OHHH thats what it is! ive been hearing the noise of them pumps all day and i thought they were either squirrels, or robots having sex"

Great start to the festival ahaha

[KeithDelBasso]

Not Glastonbury, but been reading this thread and it's brilliant! Was at T In The Park last year...

Heard from a girl in the tent behind our group -

*in a strong glasgow accent* "aww naw, louise. ma fanny's stuck tae ma leg!"

hahahaha absolutely revolting, yet hilarious!

[Morse Code]

Two guys walking behind me down towards the Park. Only one was talking:

"I'm telling you mate, Glastonbury, rain and mud. No-one's interested unless it's all 3.

Once you get all 3, every f*ckers interested but if you ain't got all 3.... no one cares.

Glastonbury and rain - nothing!

Rain and mud - nothing!

Even f*cking Glastonbury and mud for f*ck's sake - nothing!

But get all three, oh yes, suddenly everyone wants to talk about it.

You know why? <<--pause--> I'll tell you why.....because everything comes in 3's. It's like, I don't know, a law of 3's or something!

Are you listening?

Everything comes in 3's!

It's the truth......and you can't hide from the truth......"

This went on until we turned in to the Park and they carried on walking. It could still be going on now!

[abu hamster]

Beyonce: "What's my name?"

Random guy in crowd: "ALAN!"

[ian the worm]

I work in a bar and there was a toy beaver sitting behind the bar.

Customer: Pint of cider and can I see your beaver?

Landlady (quick as a flash): Steady on love, you’ve not even offered me a drink yet!

Discussing the Wombats being marsupials, we were in the middle of debating how the baby gets into the pouch when a friend walks up. Asking her to discuss marsupials with us she said “well kangaroos are basically just like massive rabbits”.

[Korki_butchek]

Sunday @ Pryamid

Beyonce: My dreams have come true, I cant believe Im preforming at Glastonbury.

Me: either can I...

[abu hamster]

Beyonce: "What's my name?"

Random guy in crowd: "ALAN!"

[amfy]

Sunday @ Pryamid

Beyonce: My dreams have come true, I cant believe Im preforming at Glastonbury.

Me: either can I...

[Leedspete]

Two men holding on to each other and coming down the steps out of one of the clubs in the late night area on Saturday. One completely off his face, the other looking fcuked but a bit perturbed:

Said in a very camp voice "Soooooooo, is there any toilet roll money left?"

Thursday night/Friday morning around 3am near our tent in Dairy. Around 6 or 7 people heading towards us all with headlamps on, the one in the lead says something like "Told you, we're back in that field with the muddy track!" I just pissed myself, "yes mate, there's no other fields round here with muddy tracks!"

And the guy who collapsed next to the tent that was on its own near the toilets and entrance to Dairy. Saw him curled up near this tent, obviously not his, and on another planet. We helped him up and asked where he was camped "I'm staff, I'm working here". OK, thanks mate, I feel so much safer. Hope he found his way home, I doubt it though.

[**claire**]

Two policemen were handing out the orange lanyards for your mobile phone on Sunday morning, and gave us one each, then as he handed some to the family behind us, he said in a very deadpan voice to the mum who was carrying a small child, 'You can use it for your mobile, or your wallet or anything else you don't want to lose. However I wouldn't advise using this for your baby madam'.

Made me chuckle.

Edited June 30, 2011 by **claire**

[castmana1]

"How were the toilets?"

"Really bad mate...I heard someone died in them..."

[sisterofmercy]

"How were the toilets?"

"Really bad mate...I heard someone died in them..."

[Griff777]

Myself and my mates were up on the Stone Circle on sunday night listening to all the drug bartering going on and he goes,

"This place is mad. It's like a swingers party for drugs!"

So true...

[wilko8]

Stood in the queue waiting to get in at gate d on Wednesday morning. The torrential rain eventually stops. Some guy in the middle of the queue points to the sky and yells....

"F*CK YOU RAIN"

Also the funniest thing I saw was a guy at tiny tempa absolutely pile it after getting down low and jumping up in the air. Hilarious.

[wilko8]

Double post.

Edited July 1, 2011 by wilko8

[sowfpig]

Stood in the queue waiting to get in at gate d on Wednesday morning. The torrential rain eventually stops. Some guy in the middle of the queue points to the sky and yells....

"F*CK YOU RAIN"

Also the funniest thing I saw was a guy at tiny tempa absolutely pile it after getting down low and jumping up in the air. Hilarious.

[Oh Goodie!]

Beyonce: "What's my name?"

Random guy in crowd: "ALAN!"

[LanaKay]

Outside the She-pees near the Pyramid stage:

Girl: "You know I was worried it would leak, but actually it fitted my flange like a glove"

Think it was just the fact of a woman saying flange that made me laugh!

[Louisa1969]

Two girls I overheard en route to watch BB King.

Girl #1: OMG he was so old

Girl #2: Yeah! Oh well, at least we can say we saw him before he died

*Both cackle*

Sinister!

[Wooderson]

The geezer in the men's urinals at the back of the Pyramid playing (pretty sweet) harmonica along with BB King whilst having a pish.

"Any chance of a tap 'n tuck lads?"

[Aby]

My two favourite Glastonbury quotes were said to me by a mate of mine, the first was our initial encounter with Block 9…we were all stood outside this enormous construction a bit overwhelmed, and my mate goes “come on we’re not here to stand looking at stuff, we’re here to F*CKING RAVE!” Never a truer word spoken.

The following night we were dancing about by Arcadia and he announced ‘if you haven’t given yourself whiplash by the end of the night, you’re not doing it properly.’

[Redwinevino]

"Yeah I really thought that bag of ket was never coming out of my arse but luckily it fell out when I fell over at stone circle"

[Lucyferrr]

One of our CT lot who shall remain nameless (you know who you are ) left the cider bus on Wednesday 2 hours before the rest of us because he was wasted. It could have been longer because we went and had a big old dance and several ciders at the Brothers bar before going back to camp.

We gets there and said drunken member has only just got back. So he goes "oh I didn't realise we were all leaving at the same time..." the response..."dude...we left like 2 hours after you where have you been?" *long pause* "erm I'm not really sure but there was definitely a Glaswegian security guy there at some point..."

Same night at camp and said drunken camper:

"Luce? Why is your tent so small? I want to have a nap..."

"Dude...even if this was a four man tent you wouldn't be getting in here..."

Random camper: "You ever notice how tents are often a metaphor for life?" LOL!

Edited July 1, 2011 by Lucyferrr

[dumski]

Two hot 18 yr olds camped with us (but not with us) on Sunday morning over breakfast

Tasha: how they gonna change the grass?

Me: sorry what?

Tasha: how they gonna change the grass?

Me: really?

Tasha: do they wait till everyone’s gone and put some turf down? That’s a lot of turf.

Me: (in hysterics can’t speak)

Tasha: (turns to her friend) well cows can’t walk on mud they don’t have wellies