Best Conversations Of Glastonbury 2011

[Joeskeppi]

I had millions of these random conversations. My favourite one was spotting a guy with an I LOVE NY hat on.

Turned out he actually was from New York, chatted shit at him for ages and eventually he needed a piss and I explained circle of trust.

He had no idea what I was on about, so I called 8 of my mates over (we were all dressed as gangsters) and they formed a circle around him, he said he was taking it back to NY

Edit: and his name was Geoff, my mates still talk about him sometimes

Edited February 16, 2013 by Joeskeppi

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

Spanish, normally pronounced 'hay-zoos' but he had been in Berlin so long he'd lost his accent. Found a pic of him on the net months later. Looks like he;'s somewhere up in the Green Fields.

[Jackson1990]

Already mentioned this in two other treads but it was the perfect lift on Monday morning.

6am, waiting outside the toilets. Group of stewards sat near the road, and a man dressed as a fiserman approaches them, still 30 feet away:

Fisherman - EXCUSE ME!? DO YOU HAVE LOUD SPEAKER MEGAPHONES

Steward (through megaphone) - YES

F/man - WELL KEEP IT DOWN OR YOU'LL WAKE THE WHOLE BLOODY NEIGHBOURHOOD!

[Joeskeppi]

You could have pointed him in the direction of the nearest toilet instead. He would have had more privacy and This would have caused no pollution or threat to the festival's future.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

He pissed into an empty bottle, you sanctimonious penis.

[Joeskeppi]

Hold on Joe. To be fair you didn't actually say that originally. Scruffy wasn't alone in thinking that the bloke had simply pissed on the ground.

[smudger]

walking along and over heard two people talking as they walked;

Girl 1 I love the way you just catch different bits of other peoples conversations as you walk along.....

Girl 2 yeah its great isnt it?

Girl 1 Yeah....so anyway, you say he actually shit in her tent.....?

and then they were gone.....

[grumpyhack]

He pissed into an empty bottle, you sanctimonious penis.

[eoinca]

Smudger that is brilliant!

[Joeskeppi]

And then threw it into the crowd?

Edited February 16, 2013 by Joeskeppi

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

I didn't say he pissed on the floor originally either. My comment in response is perfectly valid.

[Joeskeppi]

Really? Sounds a little sanctimonious to me.

[Jackson1990]

No confrontation in this thread, it's too hilarious

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

That doesn't make sense.

Regardless, as it seems I'm being rounded on by the regulars after an innocent attempt to fit in I'll just leave you all to it.

[Joeskeppi]

Are yoo serious? You regard calling someone a sanctimonious penis an innocent attempt to fit in! I don't understand where you are coming from. I wouldn't wish to hound anyone off here. You have as much right as any to speak your mind and pass on tales etc. Don't be put off by anyone.

Edited February 17, 2013 by Joeskeppi

[James Bolivar]

Because he was being one. Why automatically assume the worst and then patronise someone off the back of it? I found it very insulting.

You're right, it's clearly all my fault, I should make it clear in future posts that I wasn't being anti social so that 3 people don't jump down my throat.

Went to the shop today (didn't kill any kittens on the way) and got a Twix (didn't steal it fyi).

Might pop out for a walk later with the Mrs (just to be clear I won't murder her half way round).

I find this outrageously hypocritical after the newbie amnesty thread. "Come on everyone, post so we can be really rude to you and gang up on you when you get offended, yay!"

[Krazypinkminx]

more please as this thread has made my shit weekend a lot better

[king of carott flowers]

Because he was being one. Why automatically assume the worst and then patronise someone off the back of it? I found it very insulting.

You're right, it's clearly all my fault, I should make it clear in future posts that I wasn't being anti social so that 3 people don't jump down my throat.

Went to the shop today (didn't kill any kittens on the way) and got a Twix (didn't steal it fyi).

Might pop out for a walk later with the Mrs (just to be clear I won't murder her half way round).

I find this outrageously hypocritical after the newbie amnesty thread. "Come on everyone, post so we can be really rude to you and gang up on you when you get offended, yay!"

..love it, post of the year!.

meanwhile this forum continues to dissapear up its own arse..

[Joeskeppi]

Well, my reading of your OP was that you had encouraged this stranger to micturate on the ground; failing to actually mention the bottle as part of the tale is crucial to this misunderstanding. I didn't respond purely because I read it on my phone and I hate typing on my phone. You'd already conjured an image of laddishness with your casual reference to your companions as "mates", so the wrong impression was the first impression and it was easy to get to.

I don't want to discourage you from posting, but be aware that the only insight into your personality that other forum members have is through what you write and how you write it. It is easy for careless writing to lead to a misinterpretation of a poster's character, but you are in complete control in this regard. Sure, you could argue that this bunch of complete strangers should give you the benefit of the doubt, but that hasn't been the case going back to Usenet days; taking umbrage is an Internet tradition.

[Buff124]

Joeskeppi

We're just pee'd off (excuse the pun) because we missed the chance to get all self-righteous with the American dude. How dare he even think about emptying his colonial bladder on the sacred Isle of Avalon ! Back in the day, the druids wrapped people's entrails round a tree for less. You wouldn't happen to have an email address for him, so we can vent our spleen directly ? Thanks awfully.

Cheers, Buffalo124

[Joeskeppi]

Joeskeppi

We're just pee'd off (excuse the pun) because we missed the chance to get all self-righteous with the American dude. How dare he even think about emptying his colonial bladder on the sacred Isle of Avalon ! Back in the day, the druids wrapped people's entrails round a tree for less. You wouldn't happen to have an email address for him, so we can vent our spleen directly ? Thanks awfully.

Cheers, Buffalo124

[Buff124]

On a slightly more seriousnote, I totally hope that people take 50 minutes out of their busy schedules today to watch this . It goes a long to explaining why Glasto is loved so much

Edit: Thanks Joeskeppi - Geoff will be getting the old virtual hexing even as we speak

Edited February 17, 2013 by Buff124

[garokev]

Saturday night 2010

Me and few buddies larking around in the early hours having obviously had a few drinks during the course of the night. Its about 5am, and we're admittedly being a bit loud and giggly. Then suddenly and very scary, gruff scottish accent Shouts out from a nearby tent..

'WILL YOU LOT SHUT THE FUCK UUUUP!'

Considering the time we fall silent and quickly apologize and decide its time to head somewhere being noisy wouldn't be an issue. As we turn to walk away, the same angry voice pipes up...

'I'm TRYING TO COOK SOME FUCKING SAUSAGES!!!!!'

We all laugh histerially, join the guy for a beer and even had some freshly cooked sausage sandwiches!

[James Bolivar]

A fair enough post, but I disagree with the last sentence. I don't launch myself into criticism based on first impressions, especially on a Glastonbury themed forum, the topic of which is amusing stores to share.

I'm afraid your post has put me off a bit, I don't think I can be bothered to re-read my posts for any insinuation of "laddishness" and any ommitted, inconsequential details of a story I may be telling so that I may avoid being insulted by someone who hasn't been brought up properly.

[outlinereality]

On a slightly more seriousnote, I totally hope that people take 50 minutes out of their busy schedules today to watch this . It goes a long to explaining why Glasto is loved so much