Let's talk Mental Health...and Glastonbury.

[plaskins]

I hope you find 2024 to be great festival and stay strong. Brave of you to share your story. You're not alone with the mental health struggles.

[plaskins]

I went through a tough time in the run up to 2022, was going through a separation/divorce, missing not seeing my daughter everyday. I'm in a much better place now but had some dark days. Glastonbury just makes me smile, with it without drugs, it's like a natural high feeling just being there for me sometimes 

[Neil]

52 minutes ago, plaskins said:

I went through a tough time in the run up to 2022, was going through a separation/divorce, missing not seeing my daughter everyday. I'm in a much better place now but had some dark days. Glastonbury just makes me smile, with it without drugs, it's like a natural high feeling just being there for me sometimes 

keep on struggling thru, you can do it. 🙂 

 glastonbury was my own highlight in some very dark years - it helped that i got to see my son there; often the only time in a whole year.

[clarkete]

On 4/4/2024 at 3:59 PM, 4AssedMonkey said:

Never stumbled across this thread before, but wish I had.

I've had depression my whole life and spent many years drowning the negative thoughts with alcohol and playing at being a "normal" citizen.  My first Glasto changed my life as it opened my eyes to so many things, but also showed me that humanity and society could be inclusive, supportive and differences were to be celebrated.  In 2013 I split with my wife of 10 years, with whom I have 2 kids and the event triggered me.  I hated being on my own away from the kids and after 6 weeks attempted suicide.  Luckily, I failed.  I got some therapy and support and have been largely OK every since.

At G last year, I had an altercation with a coked up selfish w*nker and went to throw a punch.  Luckily, my group stopped me and his stopped him.  That night I went very dark.  By the end of July I was still in a bad place and blaming myself, feeling guilt, shame, self loathing and work pressure was ramping up.  My mind broke.  My wife had to stop me slashing my wrist.  I went back into therapy, on to antidepressants and had 10 weeks off work.  I'm lucky.  My family, friends and employer were nothing but understanding and helpful.  I now feel like myself again.

I'm a little concerned about this year's festival and for a while considered not going, given what happened last year.  There was so much inconsiderate behaviour, open cocaine use and (to me) tension in crowds that I'd never really felt before.  The flashpoint when I lost it was by no means the only incident of pushy (coked up) selfishness I'd experienced that weekend, which felt a million miles from previous festivals.  Maybe I was already in a downward spiral, but I still have a degree of nervousness about this year.  Luckily, I've had a refresher in coping techniques.

Per the YouTube clip above, I think most of the attendees will have some demons.  I'm 49 so struggle a little bit with being open about this IRL as my upbringing was very 70's/80's.  All I will say is get help if you need it.

I've decided this year that if the "vibe" of the festival is more 2023 and less 2019/previous and there are selfish, pushy w*nkers and blatant coke-heads everywhere then this will be my last.  For my own good.

Thank you for sharing, we rarely have any feel for what's happening with folks we read regular posts from so it's very good of you to share.   

 

I've got some family members who've had mental health struggles and would love to be able to chat or write to them, but inevitably that's exactly the type of engagement they pull back from, so one can feel quite powerless. 

 

As for the behaviour of other folks at the festival, most of us who've been a few times have seen or experienced downsides, in my case many years ago before the fence, so likely not caused by the same drug, but there were always a very small number of pricks - maybe if they didn't have to pay or there were no coppers there was less to lose, or inevitably the 'edge' that made things exciting did occasionally come with issues? 

[Vidsidasta]

Apologies for the length of this post! I went on a bit of a ramble, so tl:dr; Glastonbury is a special place and is unlike any other festival. There be magic/dragons here, or something.

So glad to see this thread still going strong! From my experience, Glastonbury brings a lot of emotions and experiences that I’ve just not encountered at other festivals. It’s not a bad thing - I think it’s just testament to how Glastonbury is truly something special, and connects to people in ways no other festival does. I’ve been to a number of other festivals in the last few years, and although I’ve had some great experiences at those, nothing is as era-defining as my attendance at Glasto every year since 2014.

And so, this year is the first year since I started my Glasto journey that I WON’T be attending. In a way, it was a difficult decision to make - how could I possibly break my privileged streak of attending the most sought-after festival in Europe? - but in another way, I realised that I have always formed a potentially-unhealthy emotional connection to Glastonbury that I’m sure 99% of people wouldn’t relate to.

I first started going to the festival with a “f**k it, I’m completely unhappy in my relationship and I need an escape” approach. Then a few years later, I was going to the festival with someone who I saw myself going to the festival with for the rest of my life. And then Covid happened, and we inevitably broke up (mostly amicably), and so when the ticket rolled over for 2022, I was still trying to keep the emotional spirit going. Then in 2023, she had moved on much quicker and easier than me, and brought her new boyfriend into our group, and I probably catasrophised the whole situation and made it more awkward for everyone than I needed to. I had also discovered ketamine (as a self-medicated antidepressant, because all NHS-recognised mediation wasn’t working for me) by that point, which in many ways has changed my life for the better, but at that time, I had no stable footing in reality and I’m kinda ashamed of how I might have come across to my peers.

Why am I talking about this here? Well, Boomtown was a festival I started attending in 2022, with absolutely no emotional connection to anything. I was entirely unfiltered, made a great bunch of friends who were all as f**ked-up as I was (but in their own special ways). I don’t know which festival is BETTER on paper, but I know that I feel “safer” returning to Boomtown than I do Glasto. And so for this reason, I didn’t go for a ticket at Glasto this year, because I feel like I need a “mental health break”. I’d love to go to Glastonbury and not be carrying all my emotional baggage with me, and just attend the festival as a “normal” person, because there really is nothing like it. I just find that every Glasto, even at my happiest, I spend at least a day trying to hide from everyone - I thought I was doing okay in 2022, until I saw my ex on the screens during one of Kae Tempest’s most emotional songs, and a few days later, Sea Girls defined my life with their opening song, Sick. I don’t even remember 2023, when I was (in retrospect) at my worst. And trying to hide from everyone at a festival like this, camping in a wonderful, intricate group as I do, is quite difficult.

Of course, I am strongly considering going for a resale ticket this year, because so much has changed in my life in the last year and anyone who knows me will probably say that I’m a completely different, more stable person now. But I’m just incredibly anxious that I’m going to have an “episode” at Glastonbury yet again, and I feel like it’s my own fault for setting this festival up in this way when I first started attending back in 2014, and so the cycle continues…

This festival is truly unique, in that there is literal magic going on here somewhere and I’m not educated enough to explore it. Or maybe it’s just me. But yeah. Something so amazing and fun shouldn’t be so difficult, and so taking a year out is probably the right decision for me. (I’m also probably taking a year out from Boomtown, because I f**ked my back up last year and I’m still not sure if I’m recovered from that either)

If you’ve read this far, thank you! I appreciate you! I don’t have any useful information to share, other than that Glastonbury is unexpectedly difficult and stressful for some people and it’s okay if you’re in the same boat - you can enjoy something and be dreading it at the same time. I think that’s the new “normal” now.

[Rula912]

7 hours ago, Vidsidasta said:

Apologies for the length of this post! I went on a bit of a ramble, so tl:dr; Glastonbury is a special place and is unlike any other festival. There be magic/dragons here, or something.

So glad to see this thread still going strong! From my experience, Glastonbury brings a lot of emotions and experiences that I’ve just not encountered at other festivals. It’s not a bad thing - I think it’s just testament to how Glastonbury is truly something special, and connects to people in ways no other festival does. I’ve been to a number of other festivals in the last few years, and although I’ve had some great experiences at those, nothing is as era-defining as my attendance at Glasto every year since 2014.

And so, this year is the first year since I started my Glasto journey that I WON’T be attending. In a way, it was a difficult decision to make - how could I possibly break my privileged streak of attending the most sought-after festival in Europe? - but in another way, I realised that I have always formed a potentially-unhealthy emotional connection to Glastonbury that I’m sure 99% of people wouldn’t relate to.

I first started going to the festival with a “f**k it, I’m completely unhappy in my relationship and I need an escape” approach. Then a few years later, I was going to the festival with someone who I saw myself going to the festival with for the rest of my life. And then Covid happened, and we inevitably broke up (mostly amicably), and so when the ticket rolled over for 2022, I was still trying to keep the emotional spirit going. Then in 2023, she had moved on much quicker and easier than me, and brought her new boyfriend into our group, and I probably catasrophised the whole situation and made it more awkward for everyone than I needed to. I had also discovered ketamine (as a self-medicated antidepressant, because all NHS-recognised mediation wasn’t working for me) by that point, which in many ways has changed my life for the better, but at that time, I had no stable footing in reality and I’m kinda ashamed of how I might have come across to my peers.

Why am I talking about this here? Well, Boomtown was a festival I started attending in 2022, with absolutely no emotional connection to anything. I was entirely unfiltered, made a great bunch of friends who were all as f**ked-up as I was (but in their own special ways). I don’t know which festival is BETTER on paper, but I know that I feel “safer” returning to Boomtown than I do Glasto. And so for this reason, I didn’t go for a ticket at Glasto this year, because I feel like I need a “mental health break”. I’d love to go to Glastonbury and not be carrying all my emotional baggage with me, and just attend the festival as a “normal” person, because there really is nothing like it. I just find that every Glasto, even at my happiest, I spend at least a day trying to hide from everyone - I thought I was doing okay in 2022, until I saw my ex on the screens during one of Kae Tempest’s most emotional songs, and a few days later, Sea Girls defined my life with their opening song, Sick. I don’t even remember 2023, when I was (in retrospect) at my worst. And trying to hide from everyone at a festival like this, camping in a wonderful, intricate group as I do, is quite difficult.

Of course, I am strongly considering going for a resale ticket this year, because so much has changed in my life in the last year and anyone who knows me will probably say that I’m a completely different, more stable person now. But I’m just incredibly anxious that I’m going to have an “episode” at Glastonbury yet again, and I feel like it’s my own fault for setting this festival up in this way when I first started attending back in 2014, and so the cycle continues…

This festival is truly unique, in that there is literal magic going on here somewhere and I’m not educated enough to explore it. Or maybe it’s just me. But yeah. Something so amazing and fun shouldn’t be so difficult, and so taking a year out is probably the right decision for me. (I’m also probably taking a year out from Boomtown, because I f**ked my back up last year and I’m still not sure if I’m recovered from that either)

If you’ve read this far, thank you! I appreciate you! I don’t have any useful information to share, other than that Glastonbury is unexpectedly difficult and stressful for some people and it’s okay if you’re in the same boat - you can enjoy something and be dreading it at the same time. I think that’s the new “normal” now.

this is an incredibly brave post, thank you so much for sharing and it think it will chime with many. Well done on recognising your triggers and working to avoid them and move forward.  I’m glad you found Boomtown as a new positive place. Hopefully your healing will continue and I, and I’m sure many others, wish you well for the future 

[ModernMan]

Glastonbury belongs to me and my ex in my mind. Being alone last year and this was/is still incredible and still Glastonbury. But there is always a huge part of me that wants to see and speak with them, but it’s no longer possible 😔
 

I'm expecting a dip of sorts when I get there, but hopefully everything will be alright. You never know what magic is in those fields 🙂

[Crazyfool01]

On 7/3/2023 at 6:09 PM, Crazyfool01 said:

think they have me over a barrel in terms of contract ... but im likely to be able to prove that they will impact my health condition diabetes with a change of shift that means getting up at 4am .... one advantage of my health condition , I do however think its been quietly dropped as there have been no contact from occupational health thus far 

It was quietly dropped and I remain on my old contracted hours 

[clarkete]

9 hours ago, Vidsidasta said:

Apologies for the length of this post! I went on a bit of a ramble, so tl:dr; Glastonbury is a special place and is unlike any other festival. There be magic/dragons here, or something.

So glad to see this thread still going strong! From my experience, Glastonbury brings a lot of emotions and experiences that I’ve just not encountered at other festivals. It’s not a bad thing - I think it’s just testament to how Glastonbury is truly something special, and connects to people in ways no other festival does. I’ve been to a number of other festivals in the last few years, and although I’ve had some great experiences at those, nothing is as era-defining as my attendance at Glasto every year since 2014.

And so, this year is the first year since I started my Glasto journey that I WON’T be attending. In a way, it was a difficult decision to make - how could I possibly break my privileged streak of attending the most sought-after festival in Europe? - but in another way, I realised that I have always formed a potentially-unhealthy emotional connection to Glastonbury that I’m sure 99% of people wouldn’t relate to.

I first started going to the festival with a “f**k it, I’m completely unhappy in my relationship and I need an escape” approach. Then a few years later, I was going to the festival with someone who I saw myself going to the festival with for the rest of my life. And then Covid happened, and we inevitably broke up (mostly amicably), and so when the ticket rolled over for 2022, I was still trying to keep the emotional spirit going. Then in 2023, she had moved on much quicker and easier than me, and brought her new boyfriend into our group, and I probably catasrophised the whole situation and made it more awkward for everyone than I needed to. I had also discovered ketamine (as a self-medicated antidepressant, because all NHS-recognised mediation wasn’t working for me) by that point, which in many ways has changed my life for the better, but at that time, I had no stable footing in reality and I’m kinda ashamed of how I might have come across to my peers.

Why am I talking about this here? Well, Boomtown was a festival I started attending in 2022, with absolutely no emotional connection to anything. I was entirely unfiltered, made a great bunch of friends who were all as f**ked-up as I was (but in their own special ways). I don’t know which festival is BETTER on paper, but I know that I feel “safer” returning to Boomtown than I do Glasto. And so for this reason, I didn’t go for a ticket at Glasto this year, because I feel like I need a “mental health break”. I’d love to go to Glastonbury and not be carrying all my emotional baggage with me, and just attend the festival as a “normal” person, because there really is nothing like it. I just find that every Glasto, even at my happiest, I spend at least a day trying to hide from everyone - I thought I was doing okay in 2022, until I saw my ex on the screens during one of Kae Tempest’s most emotional songs, and a few days later, Sea Girls defined my life with their opening song, Sick. I don’t even remember 2023, when I was (in retrospect) at my worst. And trying to hide from everyone at a festival like this, camping in a wonderful, intricate group as I do, is quite difficult.

Of course, I am strongly considering going for a resale ticket this year, because so much has changed in my life in the last year and anyone who knows me will probably say that I’m a completely different, more stable person now. But I’m just incredibly anxious that I’m going to have an “episode” at Glastonbury yet again, and I feel like it’s my own fault for setting this festival up in this way when I first started attending back in 2014, and so the cycle continues…

This festival is truly unique, in that there is literal magic going on here somewhere and I’m not educated enough to explore it. Or maybe it’s just me. But yeah. Something so amazing and fun shouldn’t be so difficult, and so taking a year out is probably the right decision for me. (I’m also probably taking a year out from Boomtown, because I f**ked my back up last year and I’m still not sure if I’m recovered from that either)

If you’ve read this far, thank you! I appreciate you! I don’t have any useful information to share, other than that Glastonbury is unexpectedly difficult and stressful for some people and it’s okay if you’re in the same boat - you can enjoy something and be dreading it at the same time. I think that’s the new “normal” now.

Thanks for sharing, sounds like you were wise to be honest, that Glastonbury situation of seeing someone you still care for, especially under the influence is something few if any of us could take in our stride 😔.    Those I know who've done it were in entirely different parts of the festival.

[Nuthugger]

12 hours ago, plaskins said:

I went through a tough time in the run up to 2022, was going through a separation/divorce, missing not seeing my daughter everyday. I'm in a much better place now but had some dark days. Glastonbury just makes me smile, with it without drugs, it's like a natural high feeling just being there for me sometimes 

yea im lucky. its probably the only place I don't have any mental health issues lol

[incident]

Report spam, rather than quote/reply to it.

[gooner1990]

Bringing this back up as yesterday a close friend of my younger brother put himself in front of a train and ended it all. 😔

 

I vaguely knew the guy from school and in subsequent years a little bit through my brother,  he was the life and soul of the party…last bumped into him about 10 days ago and all seemed fine to me. 

 

no idea what was going on in his private life or head but from what I understand he never mentioned anything to anyone but for some reason felt like ending it all was the only route.  
 

I know from experience with other people close to me ending it isn’t the only option and talking it through with someone will help, 

[4AssedMonkey]

9 minutes ago, gooner1990 said:

Bringing this back up as yesterday a close friend of my younger brother put himself in front of a train and ended it all. 😔

 

I vaguely knew the guy from school and in subsequent years a little bit through my brother,  he was the life and soul of the party…last bumped into him about 10 days ago and all seemed fine to me. 

 

no idea what was going on in his private life or head but from what I understand he never mentioned anything to anyone but for some reason felt like ending it all was the only route.  
 

I know from experience with other people close to me ending it isn’t the only option and talking it through with someone will help, 

 

sh*t. Hope you and your brother are OK. 💙