The MERRY CHRISTMAS Thread!

[Quark]

Happy Christmas efests massive x

[funkychick2007]

Happy Boxing Day Everyone!! 🥳

[Homer]

This is going down a treat. Xmas Day TOTP 1995 - presented by Jack Dee and Bjork (obvs)

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000qpgf/top-of-the-pops-christmas-special-1995
 

featuring pulp, oasis... robson and Jerome.

[gigpusher]

3 hours ago, kalifire said:

Being in the Southern Hemisphere this year has given me a new appreciation for this beauty.

 

Probably one of my favourite Christmas songs despite not living in the Southern hemisphere or having the greatest of familial relationships but it strikes me as getting to the heart of what Christmas should be about just spending time with those you love. I like a nice peaceful time with just me, my husband and the dogs. Lockdown Christmas is actually just what I like. 

[Punksnotdead]

6 minutes ago, Big durbs said:

A BOXING DAY POO

You sit upon the toilet

With everything prepared

You're feeling quite excited but

A little bloody scared!

That huge amount of Christmas nosh

Has turned into a log

And now the fateful time has come

To flush it down the bog!

But first you must expel the beast

And so you start to strain,

You bite down on a piece of wood

To take away the pain

But oh my god, its bloody huge

It's like you're giving birth!

You sweat and push and swear and shake

and strain for all your worth.

And then that magic moment comes,

That fills your soul with cheer,

A turd the size of King Kongs arm

Emerges from your rear.

And like a bomb it hits the pan

Thus lightening your mood,

And making room inside your guts

For lots more Christmas food !!                                                              

I always take a couple of immodium at the start of Glasto as I'm terrified of getting the squits whilst camping.

This poem perfectly sums up the feeling when I'm sat on the bog on the Saturday morning after 3 days without a shit!

[Ayrshire Chris]

14 hours ago, Big durbs said:

A BOXING DAY POO

You sit upon the toilet

With everything prepared

You're feeling quite excited but

A little bloody scared!

That huge amount of Christmas nosh

Has turned into a log

And now the fateful time has come

To flush it down the bog!

But first you must expel the beast

And so you start to strain,

You bite down on a piece of wood

To take away the pain

But oh my god, its bloody huge

It's like you're giving birth!

You sweat and push and swear and shake

and strain for all your worth.

And then that magic moment comes,

That fills your soul with cheer,

A turd the size of King Kongs arm

Emerges from your rear.

And like a bomb it hits the pan

Thus lightening your mood,

And making room inside your guts

For lots more Christmas food !!                                                              

A literary masterpiece,  now it’s the day after Boxing Day I’m watching the Leeds game whilst eating Pringles and having a peroni. Mrs c is in the bedroom with Joe Wicks. It’s that time to think about health and lifestyle! 

[Crazyfool01]

4 minutes ago, Ayrshire Chris said:

Mrs c is in the bedroom with Joe Wicks

does she like her younger man ? 🙂 and is Joe wicks breaking lockdown restricions ?

Edited December 27, 2020 by crazyfool1

[Ayrshire Chris]

3 minutes ago, crazyfool1 said:

does she like her younger man ? 🙂 

Once It’s half time I’ll go and ask her.  There’s certainly a lot of jumping around going on 

Edited December 27, 2020 by Ayrshire Chris

[Punksnotdead]

15 minutes ago, Ayrshire Chris said:

It’s that time to think about health and lifestyle! 

Not just yet thank you! Bank holiday tomorrow, my birthday on Tuesday & NYE on Thursday.

I've got an appointment with my cardiac nurse on the 4th - she's gonna have a hairy fit when she finds out what I've been up to over the xmas period!!!!!!🙂

[Homer]

Shit the fuckin bed

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dqkAxW7xCxo

[Padjeq]

On 12/26/2020 at 4:15 PM, Yoghurt on a Stick said:

Hello Padjeq,

I went to King Edward Camp Hill School for Boys. At that time my family lived in South Yardley (near to The Swan). Fortunately this bloke only started doing his business a few stops from The Swan, so I only had to endure it for a while. Not having any idea about such things at that time, I don't know whether he 'concluded' in my presence, or not. 

My first school was St. Thomas Moore's in Sheldon. My three older brothers were at St Phillips (RC) on the Hagley Road, so I was originally destined to go there for a secondary school. However, they turned it into a sixth form college before I could get into it, so my parents looked for somewhere else with a 'good reputation', so made me do the two exams for there on two consecutive Saturday afternoon's. Anyway, little did they (or anybody but us potential candidates from our primary school)know, but our primary school had already given us a 100% identical mock paper to one of the 'exams;' on the first Saturday of the Kings Edward's exam. So from point one I had already got 100% of that paper correct (as did all those who tried from my primary school). I then must have got enough in the second paper to get through and into the school.

And then it dawned on me - I was with people who had been to places like the Blue Coat School in Edgbaston. These people had already learned thing's like French at that school, so were well, well more advanced that the 'mob' of delinquents that came from my school. As a result I always used to come last or second last in my class on an overall basis. There was a time when I came 4th in Physics because I studied it because the teacher was such a nice bloke that I (and my mates) wanted to do good for him so that he was happy. An odd thing to do, on reflection.

However, despite the set back of having very clever people all around me, I enjoyed those school days more than at any other time of my life.

Hope that Edmund Campion was good to you. Was it?

 

 

Nah, hated it. My bro moved from there to St Phil's 6th form, as it happens.