moheetoes Posted May 17, 2017 Report Share Posted May 17, 2017 thanks for the downvote - no more dad jokes from me 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nobody Interesting Posted May 17, 2017 Report Share Posted May 17, 2017 I went to the zoo the other day. It was empty, except for a single dog... It was a Shih Tzu 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glasto Mart Posted May 17, 2017 Report Share Posted May 17, 2017 Two Thai girls asked me if I wanted to sleep with them. They said it would be like winning the Lottery. To my horror they were right, we had six matching balls. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baggienick68 Posted May 17, 2017 Report Share Posted May 17, 2017 I feel for you lot - all going slowly mad. Hope your diligence pays off. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beefykoala Posted May 17, 2017 Report Share Posted May 17, 2017 (edited) Why didn't the French man have two eggs for breakfast? Because one egg is un œuf. Edited May 17, 2017 by beefykoala Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MilkyJoe Posted May 17, 2017 Report Share Posted May 17, 2017 5 minutes ago, moheetoes said: Last night I dreamed that I ate a giant marshmallow When i woke up.........my pillow had gone (one of my dad's) The late great Tommy Cooper! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beefykoala Posted May 17, 2017 Report Share Posted May 17, 2017 1 minute ago, Nobody Interesting said: I went to the zoo the other day. It was empty, except for a single dog... It was a Shih Tzu I love this one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MilkyJoe Posted May 17, 2017 Report Share Posted May 17, 2017 3 minutes ago, moheetoes said: thanks for the downvote - no more dad jokes from me Yeah bit baffling that one. I upvotes it to even it out! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beefykoala Posted May 17, 2017 Report Share Posted May 17, 2017 Just now, MilkyJoe said: Yeah bit baffling that one. I upvotes it to even it out! I tried but I got yelled at by computers for being too generous. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andyb66 Posted May 17, 2017 Report Share Posted May 17, 2017 Man goes to the doctors ' doctor doctor I can't pronounce my Fs Ts or Hs' doctor ' well you can't say fairer than that can you' !! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chimpola Posted May 17, 2017 Report Share Posted May 17, 2017 Why did Barry Chuckle get a job at British Gas? To Meter you... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glasto Mart Posted May 17, 2017 Report Share Posted May 17, 2017 Nasa Scientists say its possible to live on Mars. Complete rubbish, I tried it and now I'm five stone heavier and diabetic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
majormajormajor Posted May 17, 2017 Report Share Posted May 17, 2017 What's the father of all corny jokes? Popcorn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beefykoala Posted May 17, 2017 Report Share Posted May 17, 2017 DISCLAIMER: They are not. This is a lie. But check it out... http://www.somersetlive.co.uk/whats-on/whats-on-news/glastonbury-2017-tickets-back-sale-64262 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morse Code Posted May 17, 2017 Report Share Posted May 17, 2017 Bought some Velcro. What a rip off! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robinn Posted May 17, 2017 Report Share Posted May 17, 2017 Why do communists only drink herbal tea? Because proper tea is theft Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glasto8 Posted May 17, 2017 Report Share Posted May 17, 2017 Not enough upvotes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skier68 Posted May 17, 2017 Report Share Posted May 17, 2017 A dyslexic walked into a bra... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moheetoes Posted May 17, 2017 Report Share Posted May 17, 2017 6 minutes ago, MilkyJoe said: Yeah bit baffling that one. I upvotes it to even it out! Aw thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Wilko Posted May 17, 2017 Report Share Posted May 17, 2017 3 minutes ago, beefykoala said: DISCLAIMER: They are not. This is a lie. But check it out... http://www.somersetlive.co.uk/whats-on/whats-on-news/glastonbury-2017-tickets-back-sale-64262 WTF!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robinn Posted May 17, 2017 Report Share Posted May 17, 2017 3 minutes ago, beefykoala said: DISCLAIMER: They are not. This is a lie. But check it out... http://www.somersetlive.co.uk/whats-on/whats-on-news/glastonbury-2017-tickets-back-sale-64262 Wait, what's going on there? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikealanfoster Posted May 17, 2017 Report Share Posted May 17, 2017 3 minutes ago, beefykoala said: DISCLAIMER: They are not. This is a lie. But check it out... http://www.somersetlive.co.uk/whats-on/whats-on-news/glastonbury-2017-tickets-back-sale-64262 Why have they written that?! I can't understand possibly how they might have deduced it to be true haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beefykoala Posted May 17, 2017 Report Share Posted May 17, 2017 Just now, Robinn said: Wait, what's going on there? People are saying it worked, but others are saying it was the standard 1100001 page with unavailable message. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PurpleFire Posted May 17, 2017 Report Share Posted May 17, 2017 Click on the red link in the somerset live link!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bennyk Posted May 17, 2017 Report Share Posted May 17, 2017 5 minutes ago, beefykoala said: DISCLAIMER: They are not. This is a lie. But check it out... http://www.somersetlive.co.uk/whats-on/whats-on-news/glastonbury-2017-tickets-back-sale-64262 so confused Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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