Getting married and having children - is it so strange as a woman I don't want either?

[rachbon]

I can understand silly god botherers like barry wanting to take part in this archaic, sexist ceremony. But normal people? you must be crackers.

[fred quimby]

I cant help thinking most people who get married do so for the "look at me! look at me!" element of it all.

Fancy needing a bit of paper to "prove" your commitment to someone. How odd.

[fred quimby]

As for the OP sounds like you are having some doubts and just assessing where Nowt wrong with that

and you will get that assumption that you will get engaged, just ignore it, I wouldn't let it get to you

Kids- well you may change your mind you may not who knows (as you have said about your relationship)

Just enjoy who you are who you are with and stuff everything else. don't let social norms define you

[Guest]

What do you mean by are their other issues here?

[windy_miller]

Anyone who spends £18,000 on a wedding is just fucking stupid.

When I got married, we just hired a marquee, and stuck it on a school playing field that we managed to get for free. Catering was supplied by M & S in the afternoon and then a catering firm came in later on to do a BBQ. The DJ was a playlist on my MP3 player. The only other main expense was alcohol.

Everyone had an absolutely fantastic time.

The key is not to tell anyone you are hiring stuff from that you are having a wedding, otherwise they start bumping the prices up. I just told them it was for a party.

Edited January 13, 2014 by windy_miller

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

Personally neither me or my fiancee need a marriage certificate to validate our relationship. Our decision to get married was more to celebrate with family and friends our union. We could have plodded on the way we were just fine but we are so happy together it just sort of made sense to go for it. I think listening to this song may have greatly persauded us too!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YEpmUUEkrKM

[rachbon]

Barry talking about contracts and terms and conditions made me cringe a bit, but in terms of your legal rights, what difference does it make?

I know nothing about the legal benefits of marriage as I've never really considered getting married. But my boyfriend and I will be having kids and buying a house at some point. I assume you have different rights as a married couple.

[TheGayTent]

Anyone who spends £18,000 on a wedding is just fucking stupid.

[Guest]

I don't think the only reason we live is to die knowing there is someone to keep living in our place. Why are we here at all is probably the big question here. I don't think to have a baby is the answer

[Guest]

Maybe it does maybe it doesn't. But most people spend a lot of money on something that other people think makes them stupid/mad/whatever.

I tend to think if you can afford it, and want to, why not.

[grumpyhack]

My wedding was at the local register office followed by a day long party in our garden for family and friends.

My hairdresser is off to Jamacia in three weeks for her wedding - very romantic on a beach at a resort costing thousands. Each to their own.

I do wonder at the amount some people spend though - almost enough to put down a deposit on a house.

[dondo]

Different strokes for different folks

My wife and I will have been married 8 years this year- and both of us are glad we did it for a variety of reasons- but totally understand those that don't want to go down the marriage route.

Similarly with kids- we have 2 kids and despite them being bloomin hard work at times we are so glad we had them (I think especially as I am an only child it carries on the family line) but totally understand that people don't want them- it's not for them either at that particular point in their life or ever- we had ours a bit later in life (my wife was 38 and 40 when she had our 2).

[Guest]

Suppose I don't need to worry about that one at least - we are massively overly populated

[russycarps]

Which aspects of weddings do you think are sexist? There are a few things about weddings that I find sexist but it's rare to see someone else point it out as well.

Edited January 14, 2014 by russycarps

[kaosmark2]

the woman taking the man's name

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

If I ever get married, I'd probably take her name. Both as a stance against sexism and a fuck you to my family.

[rachbon]

The father giving away the bride to her new owner, the woman taking the man's name, the virginal white dress, the bride promising to obey her man etc etc.

[rachbon]

We toyed with the idea of having a completely unconventional wedding. One of my fiancee's suggestions was that I would wear a veil during the ceremony and that she'd lift it at the end and kiss me. I felt like running with it for a while but then realised my parents would probably have died right there right then with the shock. Mind you, it could work out financially - the wedding funeral combo!

[t8yman]

So will you be going along with certain traditions just to please (or avoid offending) others?

Not having a go by the way, I'm genuinely asking.

I think that people can focus too much on their guests and not enough on themselves when the couple getting married are the only people who really matter. Obviously you want your guests to be happy and have fun at the ceremony but if you're doing it your own way and you're happy, that should make the guests happy.

[russycarps]

None of which is mandatory....

[TheGayTent]

by doing so for me it would feel like losing me and a part of my family

[eFestivals]

Do what you wanna do. It's YOUR life, not someone else's.

[eFestivals]

The marriage ceremony and what follows can be pretty much be adjusted to suit everyone...

But what often can't be adjusted are the opinions of the marriage or non-marriage of other people.

I blame the Romans.

For not feeding enough of the Christians to the lions.

[rachbon]

Selfish, wrong and totally misguided in my humble opinion - sorry. The couple getting married aren't the only people who really matter. You are inviting people to spend time with you, asking them to share a day that is important to you, your guests are your first consideration, as they don't really have any choice in how the day goes, they are simply agreeing to be a part of your day, many of them making great sacrifices to do so. I really don't like the whole "me, me me" culture that some people seem to think is acceptable. Sorry if that's old fashioned, but its the way I feel.

[rachbon]

You don't have to be "given away"... You can be "presented" instead if you so wish ?