Worst experience

[dragafos]

In 2007 I fell asleep outside my tent on one of the few occasions when the sun was out. When i woke up my legs where sunburnt. Was a bit painfull putting my wellies on but I didnt think it would be a problem. Later on that night i was in total agony, and there was water in the bottom of my wellies. I limped back to my tent and took my wellies off to be confronted with two huge blisters on the side of my calf the size of tennis balls. One had burst and that is what i could feel in the bottom of my wellies. It was horrible. It wasnt too painfull when i was walking but every time i stopped walking or sat down, my leg went into a cramp every time i got back up. I always cover myself in suncream now.

[cejx]

contacting swine flu, and wishing I was anywhere, but watching the Prodigy in 2009. It was truly a low point.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

Did this in 2009 with a new pair of Doc Martens. Absolute agony. Unfortunately history seems to be repeating as I'm currently waiting on the newest pair since those, as I found out last week that they are no longer any good at keeping water at bay. This time I made sure to buy a second-hand pair which have already been worn-in from Ebay so fingers crossed I won't come a cropper.

My other story involved a friend who thought using the taps in the porta-cabins was a good idea. Eager to wash her hands she pressed on the footpump only to have her hands covered in the most rancid brown-coloured waste-fluid. The moral of the story here is bring your own handwash and never trust the bogs!

[guypjfreak]

boiling hot day wished for a break pi....d down. walking back to tent slipped in m.d smashed ankle

wot i learnt ...................never wish for any thing but dry glastos

[Johnthebar]

98. Very wet. Tent was Pissing in water. Didn't have any change of clothes so was bollocks trying to repeg it outside. Tripped over a guy rope and was submerged in mud and very deep water. Was steaming drunk. Got up to try and get back into tend and fell again. Demolished the tent this time with my ex inside, monsoon weather, me standing covered in mud with my ex going ballistic, and loads off people watching the whole thing.

[Bluearsedfly]

Error

Edited June 9, 2011 by Bluearsedfly

[Bluearsedfly]

Thanks Dad

[robith]

In 2007 me and matye decided to get hilariously pissed and go and watch the Killers.

However, she dragged me to front. I don't deal well with crowds (I'm a stand at the back and dance man), and as it got unbearably packed I totally flipped out.

With the mud and the second biggest crowd I've seen in my 5 years at Glasto, it took me 45 minutes to get out of the Pyramid field, in the midst of a panic attack.

Thankfully some kind Mancunians helped me out and bought me a veggie burger. And then I saw Iggy and Africa Express. So really it all worked out.

The car parks in 2007 were a nightmare - but there was a blitz spirit. Also our mates insisted on queueing in a queue that was clearly going into itself. We cut across the fields (eventually) pushing through the mud, and helping those in front of us (including some people who cut us up, flashed Vs at us and very promptly got stuck! They looked very sheepish). Took us 5 hours to get home, but when we did we rang our mates to find they were STILL in the car park!

Also last year I got greedy and tried to have an oggie, jerk chicken and ten pints of cider. Trapped wind like you wouldn't believe. Ended up in the fetal position in my tent until that elusive parp at 3am. Felt like a deflating ballon!

[gooner1990]

Someone posted this up a couple of years ago - just did a quick google search to find it.....

Seeping with The Enemy

2007 - the year Glastonbury organisers got smart: in an effort to beat ticket touting, you had to pre-register with a photo a few months in advance of tickets going on sale.

Whilst preventing touts being able to buy up loads of tickets and sell them on at rates more hideously inflated than Piers Morgan's ego, it also made it more difficult for groups of friends* to buy tickets together.

*More specifically, my group of friends

Basically, you had to enter everyone's registration number separately to get tickets. My mate Jim (who we had stupidly put in charge of obtaining the tickets) somehow managed to only enter my number and then completed the online form, thinking he would be able to go through again and complete it for everyone else separately. The website was swamped. He never got back on.

The group of us were fairly angry with Jim (me less so than the others - I had a ticket, after all). We all tried again a few weeks later when some more tickets were released, but we were unsuccessful again.

I'd never been to Glasto before, and was pretty keen to go, so I set about looking for other friends who had tickets - there had to be someone, surely?

Upon further investigation, most of my mates from work, football and elsewhere who were interested in going Glasto had been similarly unsuccessful with obtaining tickets.

This eventually led to me agreeing to go to the festival with Maria and Suzy, two girls who at best could be described as "friends of friends of friends" (and at worst - and more accurately - could be described as "shrieking, whining f**ktards").

I'd met them briefly at a gig earlier in the year, and had been particularly disturbed by their obsession with the band we had gone to see - The Enemy. Maria and Suzy had spent the entire gig clinging onto the front barrier for all their worth, screaming and shrieking all manner of obscene acts that they wished to perform upon the lead singer and drummer respectively (Tom and Liam, I remember being told - a quick Google search doesn't dispute this).

Anyway, fast-forwarding to mid-June, I find myself trapped in a car with said f**kwits, on our way to Somerset. I had imagined that, by this point, the girls' obsession with the Coventrian indie kids may have lessened somewhat - even if it was just to share the love they had to give amongst a few other acts.

Not a chance - they had both turned up in matching "Enemy" hoodies AND t-shirts, and - fuelled on cheap cider - were singing Enemy songs at the tops of their whiny voices. All this despite me having invoked driver's privilege on the stereo, removing any Enemy tracks from the in-car playlist halfway through the third playing of their debut single on the trip down.

Thankfully, when we set up the tents and checked out the playlist, it transpired that The Enemy would be playing on the Friday, therefore I would only have to listen to two days' worth of "I can't wait!" inanity before the gig.

Two days can be a really long time.

Eventually Friday dawned, and the girls were out of the tents at first light, down to the front of the Other stage, ready for their heroes.

I'd like to take this chance to say that I actually don't mind the Enemy's stuff - it's better than a lot of stuff around at the moment - but having it rammed down your throat every waking second does tend to grate after a while.

Anyway, I decided to leave the girls to it and wandered off, returning and catching the end of the set. I couldn't see the girls down at the front, but I was certain that at one point I heard them squeal in unison as one song came to an end.

When I eventually caught up with the girls later, Suzy was walking with a slight limp, but when questioned as to why, she refused to answer.

As the day - and indeed weekend - progressed, the limp got worse, but Suzy still refused to let on as to the cause. Until the last day, that is, when I was confronted by an image that will haunt me to my grave.

Awaking on the Sunday, we had realised that we still had a significant stash of cheap lager and cider with us, and - rather than carting it back to the car - we endeavoured to plough through it, resulting in the majority of the day being a bit blurry.

One moment really stands out in the memory though - towards the end of the evening, Suzy sidled up to me and said that she was a "bit worried" and that she had "something to show me".

We were camped quite close to the Pyramid stage, so we went back to the tents, leaving Maria 'saving our place' in the field.

Having dragged me into the tent, Suzy started wriggling out of her tights. By this point, my alcohol levels probably meant that my blood would only legally allowed to be served in 25ml shots, and all memories of quite how annoying this girl was were slipping out of my mind.

However, I instantly sobered up when she dropped her knickers, and I was confronted with a putrid scab-riddled pus-jungle. I'd like to say that I dealt with the situation in a sophisticated, mature manner, but unfortunately I allowed my natural reactions to get the better of me - the combination of dubious food, cheap alcohol and the sight before me hit home, and I spewed forth the contents of my stomach (namely numerous cans of warm Strongbow, a falafel wrap and an ice-cream).

As it later transpired, Liam from the Enemy had thrown his drumsticks into the crowd from the gig. Suzy had caught one, and then used it to demonstrate exactly what she wanted to do to him.

Apparently, numerous splinters from a bacteria-ridden drumstick can turn septic if left unchecked (and indeed unwashed) in a sweaty, muddy environment for 48 hours.

I'll never eat falafel again.

[mirandamayhem]

Someone posted this up a couple of years ago - just did a quick google search to find it.....

[River]

Good lord!

[Festi_Lizard]

I feel sick

[**claire**]

Oh. My. God.

[MyTwistedWords]

f**king hell!!!!

[al_coholic]

I think thats probably the winner so far,although it did make laugh out loud in the office

[sieric]

Gives a whole new meaning to "drum solo"

[jimmyk83]

I love a story with a happy ending

[fred quimby]

Well that's Bl0ody drummers for you

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

Some of them things take a pounding you know. Drums that is.

[Charley333]

F***ing hell!!!! Was she still in with him after that?

[Tenner Huey]

for me the weirdest bit is their choice of band to lust after.

I mean come on, seriously?!

[starknaked]

Someone posted this up a couple of years ago - just did a quick google search to find it.....

[Staggers]

That'll learn 'ere

[Spindles]

Put my right off my pizza, that did.

[LondonTom]

Worth the long read that was