Funniest thing you've seen/heard at Glastonbury.

[4AssedMonkey]

Stevie Wonder (while some keyboards were being rearranged around him): "We're just changing a few things around - going to do something different for you"

The bloke next to me: "Bet you're not gonna fookin' juggle"

[briddj]

In 2009 one of our group slipped and fell on a banana skin. No word of a lie.

[congopowers]

last year Watching the dust devils rip thru the shops and into the toilets..

The picture doesn't do it justice.. you probably had to be there, it was the shrieks from the toilet users that made it particularly funny

[nufc1978]

in 2008 on the saturday night me and my 2 mates had finished watching massive attack as our tent was right in line with the other stage. my mate then went on his own to find a bar to get a load of pints, after 30mins me and my other mate who was sitting in our chairs outside our tent went to bed. In the morning we woke up to find our other mate sitting in his chair outside the tent with 8 empty paper pint glasses minuss his wallet and WINO wrote in marker on his forehead!!!

hee hee

[Lilmiz]

Ooooh this is difficult!!

Most surreal amusement from last year must be when me and 2 friends had smoked quite a bit, sat around the tent in the early hours chilling out and some random guy comes stumbling through the tents, sees us and does a total shocked rabbit in the headlights pose for what seemed like ages before throwing himself behind a tent action movie stylie, he then flailed around on the floor for a bit and eventually got up and stumbled off....we just carried on like normal giggling to ourselves for over an hour before one of us actually mentioned it aloud! It was really hilarious at the time!

Sooooo much funny random stuff happens though, i love catching sections of peoples random ramblings! But can NEVER remember most of the really funny stuff!!! Grrrr!

[G1T]

Might have been funnier if you were there, but I was sat in the old Tipi Field one night a good few years ago, when out of the peace and darkness a voice rang out that was a perfect, absolutely perfect, impersonation of the voice of a Dalek, saying things like 'I. Sense. Hippies.' and 'Destroy. Hippies. Destroy. Hippies.' and so on. The whole field cracked up.

I also remember 2003, when I was sitting with some friends who were rather worse for wear than I'd chosen to get. One friend, who was always a bit crazy anyway, but came across as very posh, was approached by a radio crew. They went straight up to him, and said 'Hi, you're live on air, how are you enjoying your festival?'. My friend said 'You really oughtn't to be talking to me right now you know', to which they replied 'of course we should, come on, what's been your favourite experience so far?' To which he replied 'seriously, you don't want to be talking to me. I have no idea what my favourite experience has been so far. I have no idea where I am, or what I'm experiencing. I'm ridiculously high on acid right now you see'.

The look on the radio crew's face was a picture. Hopefully from then on they started checking people out first before putting them live on air...

[Beaver89]

This made us laugh for a bit

Last year me and my mates were in the habit of shouting ALAN! etc whenever someone nearby was calling for someone. This came to a head waiting for Gorillaz when there was a girl on a friends shoulders calling out for Mark - one of here friends. After about 3 calls we started with the ALAN, ALAN thing but she carried on a long time until we joined in MARK MARK MARK, within 30 seconds she had about 200 people around her all calling for this Mark person...... he didn't show

I'm sure I have other and far better stories but they don't spring to mind right now

[Redwinevino]

This made us laugh for a bit

Last year me and my mates were in the habit of shouting ALAN! etc whenever someone nearby was calling for someone. This came to a head waiting for Gorillaz when there was a girl on a friends shoulders calling out for Mark - one of here friends. After about 3 calls we started with the ALAN, ALAN thing but she carried on a long time until we joined in MARK MARK MARK, within 30 seconds she had about 200 people around her all calling for this Mark person...... he didn't show

I'm sure I have other and far better stories but they don't spring to mind right now

[Tenner Huey]

This made us laugh for a bit

Last year me and my mates were in the habit of shouting ALAN! etc whenever someone nearby was calling for someone. This came to a head waiting for Gorillaz when there was a girl on a friends shoulders calling out for Mark - one of here friends. After about 3 calls we started with the ALAN, ALAN thing but she carried on a long time until we joined in MARK MARK MARK, within 30 seconds she had about 200 people around her all calling for this Mark person...... he didn't show

I'm sure I have other and far better stories but they don't spring to mind right now

[dirty_dog]

last year after snoop dog had just finished his set he came down the front and was hi-fiving everyone at the front. I tried to hi-five him but missed and my mate who was absolutly plastered shouted whilst 4 ft away from snoop "YOU KILLED BIGGIE SMALLS". It was shocking.

[Ed209]

last year after snoop dog had just finished his set he came down the front and was hi-fiving everyone at the front. I tried to hi-five him but missed and my mate who was absolutly plastered shouted whilst 4 ft away from snoop "YOU KILLED BIGGIE SMALLS". It was shocking.

[marcwilson87]

It's always fun on a saturday to walk around the place at about 2am and see how many random people you can get in a group photo with a passed out person before the wake up!

[BlackHole2006]

In 2008 I remember (unwillingly) watching Mark Ronson's set with my sister and he said "At Glastonbury you always have to do something different". And some random guy next to us shouted out as loudly as he could: "I f**kED MY GRAN!"

[ivan]

in 2008 on the saturday night me and my 2 mates had finished watching massive attack as our tent was right in line with the other stage. my mate then went on his own to find a bar to get a load of pints, after 30mins me and my other mate who was sitting in our chairs outside our tent went to bed. In the morning we woke up to find our other mate sitting in his chair outside the tent with 8 empty paper pint glasses minuss his wallet and WINO wrote in marker on his forehead!!!

hee hee

[smudger]

I heard this story second hand, so I cant vouch for it authenticity, but either way very funny:

Walking down the path towards the Pyramid in the evening someone has a light in their tent and is busily and obviously setting up a couple of line of coke, and someone walking past shouts: "put that light out, it is like a bat sign for cocaine use!"

Edited March 9, 2011 by smudger

[J1mbo]

Might have been funnier if you were there, but I was sat in the old Tipi Field one night a good few years ago, when out of the peace and darkness a voice rang out that was a perfect, absolutely perfect, impersonation of the voice of a Dalek, saying things like 'I. Sense. Hippies.' and 'Destroy. Hippies. Destroy. Hippies.' and so on. The whole field cracked up.

I also remember 2003, when I was sitting with some friends who were rather worse for wear than I'd chosen to get. One friend, who was always a bit crazy anyway, but came across as very posh, was approached by a radio crew. They went straight up to him, and said 'Hi, you're live on air, how are you enjoying your festival?'. My friend said 'You really oughtn't to be talking to me right now you know', to which they replied 'of course we should, come on, what's been your favourite experience so far?' To which he replied 'seriously, you don't want to be talking to me. I have no idea what my favourite experience has been so far. I have no idea where I am, or what I'm experiencing. I'm ridiculously high on acid right now you see'.

The look on the radio crew's face was a picture. Hopefully from then on they started checking people out first before putting them live on air...

[robith]

This is a weird one as it's actually quite horrible. But it was also really funny, and it kind of became part of my group's Glasto folklore.

The Tale of White Elvis

Basically, was anyone else at The Brothers bar on Saturday night last year?

This guy turned up. he was fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked. He was also gigantic, at least 28 stone, bald, and dressed, I SHIT YOU NOT in a Vegas era Elvis costume.

Anyway he was veering from side to side. And everyone started dancing around him.

But then he turned and smacked some 15 year old kid square in the face

Claret everywhere, the kid's dad obviously went to town on the bloke. Everyone (very scaredly) tried to restrain him while my mate got security.

As you can imagine, his description of a "bald, obese man dressed as Elvis" was met with derision.

But eventually security came, forced him down and basically had to sit on him until the police arrived.

I still don't know why we christened him White Elvis since Elvis was white. But the next day "FREE WHITE ELVIS!" was shouted non stop

[leon3574]

This was a funny moment i remember back in 2000 at glasto.We all stumbled back to our tents and was just settling down to sleep when we heard someone shout .

SHIT YER F**CKING LEG OFF as loud as they could

Before long you could here people shouting it from other areas of the field

We were pissing our selves all night

May have been one of those moments when you had to be there to appriciate

[Twisted Melon]

Last year on the first night I'd had one too many so stumbled back to the tent to sleep it off. My mates must have arrived back at about 5ish and one decided to come into my tent to shake me up only for me to wake up shouting IT'S ALL OVER MY FACE!. I've no idea what I was dreaming about and I've still not lived it down.

[J1mbo]

This was a funny moment i remember back in 2000 at glasto.We all stumbled back to our tents and was just settling down to sleep when we heard someone shout .

SHIT YER F**CKING LEG OFF as loud as they could

Before long you could here people shouting it from other areas of the field

We were pissing our selves all night

May have been one of those moments when you had to be there to appriciate

[KingOfSnake]

One from 2000.

Felt a bit sorry for the young steward pleading with these guys to not climb the speaker rig.

But it was really funny to watch.

[123ginge]

I'm gambling a bit on the year but I think it was '98. My friends and I were camped right at the top looking down on the Pyramid. First, I bumped into a mate from school who i hadn't seen for a couple of years on the Thursday. On the Friday he returned to our camp and asked if he could sleep in one of our tents as his (with him in it) had hurtled down the hill in the mud, through about 6 other tents, during the night.

The same year had my actual funniest moment, though. On the Sunday night the area around us was degenerating into one massive game of "Bollocks" and one of my mates took umbrage with this and started shouting random lines from comedies out. Soon the camp nearest to us joined in and before we knew it there was Derek and Clive and Monty Python lines all through the air. That would have been enough but the highlight was my mate standing up and shouting "You are all individuals!" and the entire top of the field shouting back "Yes! We are all individuals!" and then waiting. About 5 seconds later a lone voice from what seemed like miles away screamed out "I'm not!" Perfect comedy timing. Laugh? I nearly shat myself.

[Redwinevino]

BTTT for more stories

[Oddone]

This thread made me smile. The one that sticks out for me is such a silly but amusing one

TWas about 4am and it was surprisingly quiet. It think it was a Thursday or Friday night in Kidney Mead. The guys that were between us and the path had a HUGE tent. one of those 10-12 sleepers. Ropes everywhere. Im trying t negotiate these ropes in the dark while very drunk and manage to spectacularly trip on one and stumbling falling over loads of ropes. I kept me feet but as I was about to leg it up the path I heard from inside the tent in a normal but firm voice

"What a c**t"

Made me smile.

[fresh]

last year on friday afternoon completely bolloxed me and a couple of my mates went to the long drops.

while were in there one of us started humming the dambusters theme then it seemed like everyone in the long drops at that time joined in. Then to top it off there were a few people shouting Bombs Away! and making plane noises for the first time i wanted to stay in the long drop i was having such a laugh.