NFR NFC >>>>>>2015

[pentura]

When is matty and mr g not on fine form!?

[mr gumby]

and wake up

You were dreaming

Ok, the 'heavenly body' bit was probably stretching the bounds of reality!

[lucyginger]

WHAT!! Why have I not seen this!?

When is matty and mr g not on fine form!?

1. Look it up. It is awesome!!! I think its just spoken word, rather than video.

2. Very true, it's not often they're not!

3. Because, as we know, lists are better in odd numbers...

[A Guy Called Matt]

Ok, the 'heavenly body' bit was probably stretching the bounds of reality!

I certainly saw something stretching as you bent

[A Guy Called Matt]

1. Look it up. It is awesome!!! I think its just spoken word, rather than video.

2. Very true, it's not often they're not!

3. Because, as we know, lists are better in odd numbers...

1.

2. but when we are not we really are not

[pentura]

1.

2. but when we are not we really are not

1. Will check it out during lunch!

2. But you are so when you are not then you aren't not

3. Where's your number 3 matty? Thou should be punished at the stake for that!

[A Guy Called Matt]

1. Will check it out during lunch!

2. But you are so when you are not then you aren't not

3. Where's your number 3 matty? Thou should be punished at the stake for that!

I wanted to see what happened without the odd one.....................

but then realised I am the odd one

[deebeedoobee]

Avalon line up out and Dreadzone are there - me is happy!!

[mr gumby]

Avalon line up out and Dreadzone are there - me is happy!!

That cheeky monkey Gaz, telling me he 'didn't know' if he was playing!

Good to have some more names, especially for one of my favourite areas

[A Guy Called Matt]

Avalon line up out and Dreadzone are there - me is happy!!

That cheeky monkey Gaz, telling me he 'didn't know' if he was playing!

Good to have some more names, especially for one of my favourite areas

I did a quick count and there are only 21 on the list I would like to see!!!!!

No problem

[deebeedoobee]

I did a quick count and there are only 21 on the list I would like to see!!!!!

No problem

But lots are at BT

[pentura]

The Zombies! My psych-garage needs will be well and truly filled that weekend

[pentura]

Flip-flip-flipparoo!

[carlosj]

I certainly saw something stretching as you bent

Hopefully not his whale tail.....

Sunny day in Leeds, but saddened by BB's passing. Saw him briefly at GF, why did I move on??? Der.

Digital hug CG x

[A Guy Called Matt]

But lots are at BT

That counts out about 5 I think!!!!

The trouble is I just like music - lots of music.

Split me into 10 and I will till have clashes.

[mr gumby]

I did a quick count and there are only 21 on the list I would like to see!!!!!

No problem

19 for me, plus a fair few I don't know and will check out on YouTube.

[A Guy Called Matt]

We are writing to confirm the despatch of your recent order.

The order details are as below -

Order reference xxxxxxxx

2 tickets (numbers xxxxxxxx-xxxxxxxx) for GLASTONBURY 2015 on 24th - 28th June 2015

YEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

[mr gumby]

We are writing to confirm the despatch of your recent order.

The order details are as below -

Order reference xxxxxxxx

2 tickets (numbers xxxxxxxx-xxxxxxxx) for GLASTONBURY 2015 on 24th - 28th June 2015

YEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Nice!

That's one downside to getting a coach package, all we get is an e-mail (which we have to pay £1.50 to receive!).

[A Guy Called Matt]

Mr Grumby at the NFR meet perhaps?

The one on the left of course.

[A Guy Called Matt]

B&Q JOB APPLICATION

This is an actual job application that a 75-year-old pensioner submitted to B&Q in Tunbridge Wells.

They hired him because he was so funny....

NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Bastard)

SEX: Not lately, but 1 am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate)

DESIRED POSITON: Company's Chief Executive or Managing Director. But seriously, whatever's available.

If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying in the first place - would I?

DESIRED SALARY: £150,000 a year plus share options and a Tony Blair style redundancy package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITON HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I’m worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It was a crap job.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30 - 3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here'?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Reader's Digest Timeshare Free Holiday Offer, so they tell me.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job – no. On my breaks - yes!

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy Swedish supermodel with big tits and who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread.
Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.

NEAREST RELATIVE?: 7 miles

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes. absolutely.

-------------------------------------------
After landing my new job as a B & Q “Greeter - a good find for many retirees. I lasted less than a day . About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting Bognor babe walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. As I had been instructed, I said, pleasantly, "Good morning and welcome to B & Q." I then said,"Nice children you have there. Are they twins?" The woman stopped yelling long enough to say, "No, they ain't effin twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7, why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just effin stupid?" I replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid, Madam. I just couldn't believe someone shagged you twice... Have a good day and thank you for shopping at B & Q."
My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work.

***Old People Rock!***

[mr gumby]

Mr Grumby at the NFR meet perhaps?

The one on the left of course.

At least he's standing up! That'd be an improvement on last year! Christ knows how I found my tent!!

[deebeedoobee]

B&Q JOB APPLICATION

My son was rejected by B&Q because his aptitude test said he could think for himself

[A Guy Called Matt]

Slipping down bump

[pentura]

2hrs of work left and then off till Tuesday for an exam.

My cousin is moving to England next week so a little family due on tomorrow night and I promised myself I wouldn't drink to focus for said exam. Although I'm easily persuaded..

[carlosj]

2hrs of work left and then off till Tuesday for an exam.

My cousin is moving to England next week so a little family due on tomorrow night and I promised myself I wouldn't drink to focus for said exam. Although I'm easily persuaded..

Will that offset the Glastonbury, then emigrate thread?

40 minutes of work left for me. After completing reports (which are only going to be rewritten by the next level up) my head hurts.

All around me are the sounds of office life.

"I'm on the train tonight. ."

"You said you were shopping tonight...."

We happy band of cubicle meerkats :-p