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Festival Idiot Awards

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LusciousLucy Newbie

LusciousLucy

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In all my years of attending, I dont think I have ever seen quite so many flares in use in the crowd. Adds to the goregousness to the show but so fecking stupid all at the same time. I counted 5 going off simultaneously during the Chems gig.

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Amii Newbie

Amii

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Posted

SO many near misses with flares at the Pyramid this year. One came down, lit, into Kidney mead, and another into Big Ground. I really hope the tents beneath were okay.

Oh & another idiot award to my boyfriend. Who didn't realise his welly had come off in the mud and just kept on walking.....

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izcuje Newbie

izcuje

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ridiculously tall guy (about 6'4 I'm guessing) in front of me who insisted on picking up his equally tall mates on his shoulders throughout U2.

to be honest it was more scary than it was irritating, he might not have even noticed had he dropped one of his mates on us behind him.

oh and they had a yellow flag.

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baumhole Newbie

baumhole

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Park Stage, Radiohead on friday. You were all there so you know how rammed it was. Anyway

Three guys, one of whom was seriously messed up. He'd spend 10 minutes asleep on his feet, head down, nothing. Then he'd wake up and start complaining that he needed a wee. But his mates wouldn't take him for a wee because Radiohead were bound to play some hits in a minute, right? So they persuaded him to piss in a cup. This he managed, not without pissing over his friends. Then he went back to sleep, still standing up. 10 minutes later he woke up and started complaining he needed a poo. Friends didn't want to take him, because Radiohead were bound to start playing the hits any minute now, right? So one of them started begging him, imploring him, to poo in a cup. In the middle of the crowd. Neither of them gave any indication that this was a strange thing for friends to discuss, let alone do, in a crowd of people. "Please mate, I'm begging you, just do it in this cup. I'll hold the cup for you.", really earnestly. The guy was like a giant baby, and who'd want to drag a giant baby around glastonbury? He didn't poo in the cup, so far as I know.

This actually made me a little sad, I mean these guys were your classic morons, barely able to function. But I know I don't have any friends who'd be prepared to hold a cup for me while I pooed in it. I was actually a little jealous.

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wolfticket Newbie

wolfticket

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Posted (edited)

In all my years of attending, I dont think I have ever seen quite so many flares in use in the crowd. Adds to the goregousness to the show but so fecking stupid all at the same time. I counted 5 going off simultaneously during the Chems gig.

Edited by wolfticket
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Spindles Proficient

Spindles

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I enjoyed the Kaisers. I was only there because I wanted to see QOTSA and I wasn't prepared to make the trip to and from the pyramid for pendulum (who only played a 45 minute set anyway) with my son.

I have never been a fan of their music, but it seemed that they had an hours worth of singalong fun times for the crowd that was infectious and ended up being a very entertaining gig. My daughter loved it.

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fastcomet11 Newbie

fastcomet11

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My idiot has to be a U2 fan at the front of the Pyramid Stage

On the friday we got right to the front of the stage after B.B King, for Biffy and the guy stood next to me was stood there looking dreary as hell. He literally did not move for the whole of Biffy or Morrissey, instead just stood there being miserable. By the time changeover started for U2 people started pushing in the front meaning i was moved left slightly, which meant the guy got moved (and his flag conveniently used to save his space). To which he then started having a go at me for moving his precious flag telling us that he'd "been there since 9:30 in the morning". It turns out that he was only there for U2 and didn't care about anyone else he saw (even slagging off Muse last year, who he obviously didn't know, calling them "the Muse")

Anyway, not sure much and idiot, just a damp squib, if you wanna see a band go to one of there shows, not spend 200 quid on a festival ticket when so many missed out. Some people are such miserable sods

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musky Contributor

musky

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My idiot has to be a U2 fan at the front of the Pyramid Stage

On the friday we got right to the front of the stage after B.B King, for Biffy and the guy stood next to me was stood there looking dreary as hell. He literally did not move for the whole of Biffy or Morrissey, instead just stood there being miserable. By the time changeover started for U2 people started pushing in the front meaning i was moved left slightly, which meant the guy got moved (and his flag conveniently used to save his space). To which he then started having a go at me for moving his precious flag telling us that he'd "been there since 9:30 in the morning". It turns out that he was only there for U2 and didn't care about anyone else he saw (even slagging off Muse last year, who he obviously didn't know, calling them "the Muse")

Anyway, not sure much and idiot, just a damp squib, if you wanna see a band go to one of there shows, not spend 200 quid on a festival ticket when so many missed out. Some people are such miserable sods

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Lucanesque Explorer

Lucanesque

Posted
Posted (edited)

I have several nominations:

1) The guy in the stupid knitted looking poncho thing at the Stone Circle, Thursday night, after the Elbow flashmob, who pissed down the back of my waterproofs. f**king c**t. A lovely lady saw him and then the entire crowd around me pointed at him and booed.

2) Welly washers, particularly the girl up at the lock-up near the Park, possibly the muddiest place I saw all week.

3) The bloke selling Chinese lanterns at the Stone Circle on Thursday, I told him they were banned, says it in all the literature, and he tries to argue with me saying that Michael Eavis had personally given him permission to sell them. I told him just how much bollocks he was talking until he sheepishly walked off. In hindsight I should have told security hey ho.

4) Closely followed by the idiots who didn't know how to let a Chinese lantern off, so they drifted in to the trees until they burnt out.

5) And me, for getting completely smashed on Friday night, then spotting a balloon in the rainy mud, chasing after it, and batting it over the crowd. I sincerely apologise if I muddied you, I was an idiot, but I got my payback as I then feel on my arse 4 times in quick succession.

Edited by Happy Chappy
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herzzreh Explorer

herzzreh

Posted
Posted

Time to man up and say sorry. :)

I was the idiot that did the idiotic thing towards the 2/3s of Beyonce act. If you were the victim, I'm sincerely sorry. I did feel bad about it for a while. Good plan (whilist piss drunk, at least) gone really bad.

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whateverman Newbie

whateverman

Posted
Posted (edited)

I thought I was being paranoid at the time - but reading this thread has really re-enforced my feelings at the time - (sorry, gotta shout it) - THE CROWD AT THE PAUL SIMON SET WAS BLOODY WEIRD, WASN'T IT? :( :angry:

Where the hell did they all come from? Were they on some secret day tickets? With their fenced-off picnic areas in the middle of 100 thousand people, their sanctamonius stares, their mud-a-phobia, their distinct disinterest in having anything resembling a good time, their lack of glasto juice, their bloody faces stuck in their newspapers?

I actually had a weird freak out at one point because I had this strange feeling that I had left the festival. It really was a bleak reminder of what awaited on the other side of the fence.

On top of that Paul Simon was a bit cack to be honest.

Edited by whateverman
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Aussie@Glasto Newbie

Aussie@Glasto

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I thought I was being paranoid at the time - but reading this thread has really re-enforced my feelings at the time - (sorry, gotta shout it) - THE CROWD AT THE PAUL SIMON SET WAS BLOODY WEIRD, WASN'T IT? :( :angry:

Where the hell did they all come from? Were they on some secret day tickets? With their fenced-off picnic areas in the middle of 100 thousand people, their sanctamonius stares, their mud-a-phobia, their distinct disinterest in having anything resembling a good time, their lack of glasto juice, their bloody faces stuck in their newspapers?

I actually had a weird freak out at one point because I had this strange feeling that I had left the festival. It really was a bleak reminder of what awaited on the other side of the fence.

On top of that Paul Simon was a bit cack to be honest.

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Aussie@Glasto Newbie

Aussie@Glasto

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Posted

We were staying in a caravan in east21 field and on Wednesday I was taking the dunny to the toilet waste tank to empty it and a bloke who had just arrived and had all his gear with him decided to take a break right by the tank and put all his gear up against it and then cracked a beer and was resting it on top of the tank! I said to him, "mate, you don't want to be hanging here and drinking ya beer." He was glad I gave him the heads up. B)

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