Festival Idiot Awards

[RedTaff]

Given the number of people in Glasto, the 'unusual' living conditions, the severe sleep deprivation and the copious amounts of alcohol/drugs consumed, there must have been many, many idiotic moments and acts. What were the best/worst that people saw this year?

To kick-off, the Numb-skull Vanity Award of the week goes to the girl who was washing off her wellies by a campsite near the John Peel stage on the Thursday afternoon.

She had some ever so lovely Union Jack wellies, which (devastatingly) had mud on them, which annoyingly hid part of the Union Jack pattern. So, she had one of the drinking water taps on full blast to wash every last bit of mud off, with a queue of about 8-10 people looking on dumb-founded. I don't know how long she was there for, but she was doing it for all of the 2 minutes or so that I could see her and the amount of water she was wasting and pumping into the mud (to make it even worse!) was literally unbelievable!

I can only assume she flew away and didn't get any more mud on her amazing wellies! What a bell-end!

Any more stories of random stupidity worth sharing?

[Leedspete]

Yeah, girl at one of the bars in the Dance area on Thursday who spent 20 minutes wiping her boots on the metal fence. Not at boot level, but at hand/arse/face level so that loads of people who then went and leaned on it got covered in mud. Sorry I didn't notice them heading towards there first.

Knob with smoke bomb at Mozzer.

[Leedspete]

Given the number of people in Glasto, the 'unusual' living conditions, the severe sleep deprivation and the copious amounts of alcohol/drugs consumed, there must have been many, many idiotic moments and acts. What were the best/worst that people saw this year?

To kick-off, the Numb-skull Vanity Award of the week goes to the girl who was washing off her wellies by a campsite near the John Peel stage on the Thursday afternoon.

She had some ever so lovely Union Jack wellies, which (devastatingly) had mud on them, which annoyingly hid part of the Union Jack pattern. So, she had one of the drinking water taps on full blast to wash every last bit of mud off, with a queue of about 8-10 people looking on dumb-founded. I don't know how long she was there for, but she was doing it for all of the 2 minutes or so that I could see her and the amount of water she was wasting and pumping into the mud (to make it even worse!) was literally unbelievable!

I can only assume she flew away and didn't get any more mud on her amazing wellies! What a bell-end!

Any more stories of random stupidity worth sharing?

[Lucyferrr]

Not so much stupid but ignorant.

Middle of the crowd for Pulp on Saturday. Everyone was awesome. Respecting each others space, laughing joking etc. Some Hooray Henry pushes through with his obnoxious girlfriend and proceeds to lean his entire 6ft body against my 5ft frame and repeatedly elbow the girl in front of him in the head. So, I politely say "Babe? Can you stop pushing me so much because it hurts and I can't move anywhere!" he responds with "ok yah here's the thing though we are like at a festival yar and people are going to touch you yar..." I politely reminded him that out of thousands of people HE was the only one touching me and elbowing people...his response?

Well you are just an ignorant c**t!

Que gasps of horror from everyone around us and him being totally blocked from standing next to me by this awesome girl who was like "yeah...I might look little but I'm dead burley when I want to be!"

Edited June 30, 2011 by Lucyferrr

[RedTaff]

Just cant get my head round it!

[JC-Mo'Fucka]

Man shaving his chest at the taps holding everyone up. Grow a pair.

[RedTaff]

...him being totally blocked from standing next to me by this awesome girl

[RedTaff]

Man shaving his chest at the taps holding everyone up. Grow a pair.

[Lucyferrr]

Thumbs-up too that.

There were a lot of hooray henrys and 'daddy's got a yacht' crew. Not my scene, but that's another story

[pie_and_a_pint]

I stood and watched two girls shaving their legs and armpits at the taps last year. Being a hot year, there was, understandably, a bit of a queue for the tap. And yeah, we all took the piss quite a lot till they f**ked off. Selfish little bitches...

[Lucyferrr]

Ive put this in best conversations too but it needs repeating.

Guy shouts to the crowd "anyone got anything for acid indigestion?! Like anything!!!"

Random voice from far away: yeah dude...man the f**k up!

SO funny. Acid indigestion?! Lol!

[JC-Mo'Fucka]

Jeezuss!! That is plain wrong, no matter what. May well be the revised recipient of the Numb-skull Vanity Award!! Doesn't he have friends to slap him into sanity??

[Leedspete]

Another my OH just reminded me of...

When they were watching Coldplay a nice couple, the female half of which was dancing around a bit, got bollocked by this guy who started shouting at her for bumping in to him!

My OH said that the girl was really upset and was crying (maybe a little OTT but we've all had something set us off easily) all the way through. In the end the girls bloke got the guy to apologise.

Personally I'd have danced all over the fcuker until he moved or got mad with me, at which point the problem would have been sorted.

[Hotfoxy]

Every single person in those massive ques for the chill and charge tent!!

Enjoy the festival you divs!!

Dont you know you could have gone the green fields and charged your phone up at any solar tent!!? I just walked in every time no queing!

Plus people queing for showers! They didnt even look dirty!

[Bristol Boy]

Every single person in those massive ques for the chill and charge tent!!

Enjoy the festival you divs!!

Dont you know you could have gone the green fields and charged your phone up at any solar tent!!? I just walked in every time no queing!

[chris northwest]

Man shaving his chest at the taps holding everyone up. Grow a pair.

[LusciousLucy]

Not a punter but an award for most Divviest Security Guard...

post Orbital DJ set at Arcadia and there was a pile of people now trying to get into Block 9 to get to SL. Me and 4 or so of our group follow the crowd and walk straight through. We turn around and notice one security guy trying to hold back a sea of people. He managed to stop the rest of our gang and many others on one side and yet metres away from him people are still walking through and past nonchalently unaware of the blockage to their right. After waiting way too long for him to 'get clearance' and yet people are still barrelling past him, I walked back, reached into the crowd, grabbed my gang and yanked them through and past him. He was too busy looking the other way shouting at people to notice!

[doogleduck]

She had some ever so lovely Union Jack wellies, which (devastatingly) had mud on them, which annoyingly hid part of the Union Jack pattern. So, she had one of the drinking water taps on full blast to wash every last bit of mud off, with a queue of about 8-10 people looking on dumb-founded. I don't know how long she was there for, but she was doing it for all of the 2 minutes or so that I could see her and the amount of water she was wasting and pumping into the mud (to make it even worse!) was literally unbelievable!

I can only assume she flew away and didn't get any more mud on her amazing wellies! What a bell-end!

[gizmoman]

Is it also beyond people to buy a second (or third) battery?

[jsmith01]

I posted on another thread, about two people getting in without a wristband or ticket, but for some reason they decided to leave through gate D an hour later, and got caught by security.

[chris northwest]

we camped in oxlyers, right next to the fence that seperated punters camping and backstage dance village camping! saturday morning we were surrounded by security enquiring about somebody getting through the fence on the friday night! while we were trying to diffuse the situation (they were mob-handed and obviously looking for a kick-off) some bearded wired twonk in a pink hat, walked through the lot of us, and climbed the block n mesh fence back into the backstage area!whoever he was, i would like to thank him for making security realise that it was the invited guests causing the problem! not us!

[TwistedReligion]

Not so much stupid but ignorant.

Middle of the crowd for Pulp on Saturday. Everyone was awesome. Respecting each others space, laughing joking etc. Some Hooray Henry pushes through with his obnoxious girlfriend and proceeds to lean his entire 6ft body against my 5ft frame and repeatedly elbow the girl in front of him in the head. So, I politely say "Babe? Can you stop pushing me so much because it hurts and I can't move anywhere!" he responds with "ok yah here's the thing though we are like at a festival yar and people are going to touch you yar..." I politely reminded him that out of thousands of people HE was the only one touching me and elbowing people...his response?

Well you are just an ignorant c**t!

Que gasps of horror from everyone around us and him being totally blocked from standing next to me by this awesome girl who was like "yeah...I might look little but I'm dead burley when I want to be!"

[doubledutch]

Every single person in those massive ques for the chill and charge tent!!

[JR2010]

During Coldplay, some guy decided to urinate down a girls leg, the people he was urinating on kept pretty calm even though they were annyoyed (understandably), he then decided to do it again half an hour later to someone else in the same group. The girl then tipped a cup of what I think was drink down his leg to give him a taste of his own medicine they then left and stood somewhere else. He spent the rest of Coldplay complaining about being soaking wet and how pissed of he was... Pretty much an idiot!!

[FluffyFairy]

After arriving at Pennards around 9.00 am Wednesday morning, Camp all set up and sorted we decided to go for a wander, one car park run later and some nit wit had decided to un-peg my tent and literally move it it to another spot so she could camp where I had camped. Seriously wound me up it did. My tent was now facing some gazebo (very annoying when trying to sleep and there is crowd having a chat over your head) and completely facing the opposite way to my mates. It literally looked like I had shoe horned my tent into that space. In 2013 I think I'll arrive whenever I feel like it and just move tents to get my ideal spot. People can be so cheeky.