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Festival quotes..

Guest Jens Wildman

By Guest Jens Wildman
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swede Collaborator

swede

Posted
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A few years ago at V near the mainstage fencing there was a girl squatting having a piss with her boyfriend shielding her, my mate Liam was walking over to have a piss and as she stood up to pull her jeans up he ran over and smacked her bare ass, her boyfriend looked as if he was gonna kill him and liam just stood there making the classic arse spanking doggystyle jesture while shouting "FRESH" at both of them, me and my mates nearly died laughing !! :)

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sammysundae Newbie

sammysundae

Posted
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A few years ago at V near the mainstage fencing there was a girl squatting having a piss with her boyfriend shielding her, my mate Liam was walking over to have a piss and as she stood up to pull her jeans up he ran over and smacked her bare ass, her boyfriend looked as if he was gonna kill him and liam just stood there making the classic arse spanking doggystyle jesture while shouting "FRESH" at both of them, me and my mates nearly died laughing !! :)
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young561952 Newbie

young561952

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We are a middle aged cpl wi shooting sticks at glasto last year. People kept trippin over our sticks and the darker it got the more folk swerved lol. Anyhoo, we bought glow sticks and stuck em on our clothing, in our hats, in the pressies we'd bought so no one would stab themselves on the metal cat ornament's tail. So u could see us no problem. we had so many glow sticks folk thought we were selling them lol. Plus, one of the male cupids came walkin over to me, he wa covered in mud and kinda lunged at me wi muddy fingers. when he heard ma scottish accent say "f**k off!!) he back tracked so quick he almost fell over his own feet. lol

well I thought it was funny!

x

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2nettles Newbie

2nettles

Posted
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Packing up early monday morning 2005..

Heard from inside another tent in Pennards.

Girl - "Get your stuff packed, we have to go"

Guy - "Oh my god, its beautiful"

Girl "I dont care, put your stuff in the bag"

Guy - "There are rainbows everywhere"

Girl - "Put your stuff in the bag, put your clothes in the bag, put the sodding rainbows in the bag, WE HAVE TO GO!"

omg...i nearly died.

I think she was a teeny bit pissed off....:D

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jollynolly Newbie

jollynolly

Posted
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At the Lev's last year I spotted a bloke in the crowd who was the spit of Ian Mc Kellen I approached him and asked him if he was said Sir Ian Mc Kellen to his horror and my suprise a whole crowd of people surrounding us started shouting "Gandalf, Gandalf"

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Queeg Newbie

Queeg

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few year ago at Reading me and a mate went to a stall trying to haggle a better price for food because we were getting 2.... the woman was really arsey, telling us to f**k off... we were drunk but fun drunk...was really nice to her and tried to reason with her...we've not sworn at you, not insulted you, weve been polite.... eventually we left telling her to calm down an chill out a bit...

... the day after we walked past a stall selling tshirts reduced to a quid... on the front it had the logo 'habitat'.... but wrote 'happytwat'... we bought one and went back to the stall...apologised for our behaviour the previous nite an gave her the tee folded up..... her face when she unfolded it still makes me giggle everytime i think about it :D

oh yea..... the same mate went to lost property to fill in a form because he lost his biscuit....full description.... they were pissin themselves and ended up giving him half a packet of biscuits.... :D

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FunkyDenz Newbie

FunkyDenz

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oh yea..... the same mate went to lost property to fill in a form because he lost his biscuit....full description.... they were pissin themselves and ended up giving him half a packet of biscuits.... :D
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sammysundae Newbie

sammysundae

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last year i was in the long drop when i heard a guy next to me having a bit of a struggle with yesterdays dinner, to put it nicely.

after a minute or so of grunting he let rip the most digusting noise i have ever heard. everyone around moaned in disgust and as soon as it went quiet he just shouted "bang! and the dirt is gone", i actually p**sed myself laughing. luckily it didn't matter.

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Zacko Proficient

Zacko

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last year i was in the long drop when i heard a guy next to me having a bit of a struggle with yesterdays dinner, to put it nicely.

after a minute or so of grunting he let rip the most digusting noise i have ever heard. everyone around moaned in disgust and as soon as it went quiet he just shouted "bang! and the dirt is gone", i actually p**sed myself laughing. luckily it didn't matter.

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Funkfarley Newbie

Funkfarley

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last year i was in the long drop when i heard a guy next to me having a bit of a struggle with yesterdays dinner, to put it nicely.

after a minute or so of grunting he let rip the most digusting noise i have ever heard. everyone around moaned in disgust and as soon as it went quiet he just shouted "bang! and the dirt is gone", i actually p**sed myself laughing. luckily it didn't matter.

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kohoutec Newbie

kohoutec

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One of our crowd in 2000 indulged in far too many mushies. He's only a small guy (about 5 foot) and was walking around with this poncho on and a silly pointy hat, looking very much like a novelty sized wizard. During Leftfield on the other stage he felt the need to walk up to people, look them sincerely in the eye and utter the immortal words "Rock on brother", and couldn't quite understand the strange looks he was getting back.

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remote Newbie

remote

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Posted
last year i was in the long drop when i heard a guy next to me having a bit of a struggle with yesterdays dinner, to put it nicely.

after a minute or so of grunting he let rip the most digusting noise i have ever heard. everyone around moaned in disgust and as soon as it went quiet he just shouted "bang! and the dirt is gone", i actually p**sed myself laughing. luckily it didn't matter.

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sisterofmercy Newbie

sisterofmercy

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oh yea..... the same mate went to lost property to fill in a form because he lost his biscuit....full description.... they were pissin themselves and ended up giving him half a packet of biscuits.... :D
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kabailey Newbie

kabailey

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Glastonbury 2004 about 8am one morning, lying in tent and hear man calling loudly "where's my fried slice?" (then going on to list a multitude of breakfast items that can be found at Glastonbury, except, apparently fried bread .... ) laid there listening. laughing and thinking, d'you know, i think he's right .....

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staggerlee Newbie

staggerlee

Posted
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My mate was quite f**ked and is also short sighted, in the distance there were three women with litter pickers making the way through the crowd seeking out litter, my friend said, 'three of the most attractive blind women I've ever seen' it was the reaction of the stranger next to me that made it all the funnier.

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Phil-itfc Newbie

Phil-itfc

Posted
Posted (edited)

At Reading 07 laying in my tent there was 2 guys having a debate about something or other that wasn't that important. a third guy they must have known butted in the debate with something to which one of the original 2 guys said "your opinion doesn't count, because you shit yourself"

Edited by Phil-itfc
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LanaKay Newbie

LanaKay

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Me having drunk a crate of Kronenberg o the journey from MK to Glasto whilst stopping off at a large tesco to get more beer.

"I am besus" To an old mad who was trying to give me the baby hat I had found in the carpark but had dropped of my head in the beer isle

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