Share Your Funny Stories......

[Itwillbealongdrivehome]

I have read some older posts about other people’s funny stories from Glastonbury (or other festivals); they have always made me smile/laugh. I haven’t seen one in a while so thought I’d start one, this is my own story:

Glastonbury 2009, Wednesday or Thursday can’t remember. We had made friends with one of our neighbouring groups who were “on it” 24/7, whilst walking back to our tent mid afternoon me and my pal had bumped into said group who were looking for a particularly smashed member who had wandered off half an hour earlier, we said we hadn’t seen him but would keep an eye out for him. We were making our way through the guy ropes and came across said friend on his knees between some random tents in the baking sun picking things from the grass, we asked what he was doing, he looked round at us and said “thank f**k give us a hand will ya, I’ve dropped all this backie (unsure of spelling) and weed, it’s got to last me all week, I’ve asked loads of people to help but they wouldn’t”. He stood up and turned round, he had the best E jaw that was going ten to the dozen, he was completely battered. I took a closer look at the ground to see if I could help, I decided that I would leave the dried cow shit and long grass where it was. We took him back to his tents where a couple of his mates were still sat, we told them what had happened and they went on to tell us that he always trips out and doesn’t even smoke. We left him trying to clean his hands with baby wipes.

Brilliant, his face was great when we asked if we could help and the horror when he realised he had been looking through shit for half an hour, not that he would remember it for long. Make’s me chuckle to my self every time I think about it.

Please share your top stories……………

[eFestivals]

not at Glastonbury, but it's very similar....

In India, in Goa about 25 years ago, there was a full moon party on our first night there. As regular takers we all happily dropped some acid and sat for a bit watching the phosperous in the waves as we came up. For the only time in my life I have no memories of the next few hours (not even at the time or immediately afterwards) until I started to straighten up (great acid ) 3 or more hours later.

The first thing I saw was my mate on his knees, scooping up sand into his mouth, which I realised wasn't something he should be doing. So I said to him "don't eat the sand mate".

He stopped and looked at me, and asked "why not?"

The only thing I could think of to say for why was "cos it doesn't taste very nice."

Edited January 9, 2013 by eFestivals

[The Naughty One]

The only thing I could think of to say for why was "cos it doesn't taste very nice."

[shukeli]

I remember seeing someone leave the Dance Tent (when it was just 1 tent) wearing nothing but a slice of white bread.

Which he'd pushed his penis through.

[JoeyT]

There is a great thread somewhere about funny stories / overheard things somewhere on the forum.

I'd bump it if i could find it!

[fatyeti24]

2010, Wednesday or Thursday night, i don't recall exactly which. my friend (a member of these pages who will remain nameless unless he wishes to out himself) and I had merrily set about the mephedrone supply. it had only recently been made illegal and i had taken the opportunity to stock up prior to the ban. we had loads and it was uncut.

anyway, at some point in the small hours we ended up at the Rabbit Hole. we danced around for a bit, then my mate needed to lie down. it was coming on strong and he needed a bit of time to ride it out. we found a spot out front, he lay on the grass while i kept an eye on him and chatted to people.

suddenly, all the power went off at the RH. as it was 3 or 4am, we, and everybody else, assumed that was it for the night and the crowds started to wander down towards the Park. i had to stop my mate being trampled as he lay there oblivious in the dark.

a little bit later, though not too long, somebody who worked at the RH came down towards us looking at the floor. he found what he was looking for next to my mate. he picked up the two ends of the cable, reconnected them and the RH sprung back into life: music, lights, the lot.

the crowds turned round and started to head back up the hill towards us, and once again i had to stop my mate being trampled as once again he was oblivious.

so i would like to say this to anyone there that night and particularly to anyone who works at the venue: we didn't mean to disconnect your power supply. indeed we didn't even know that we had. we were just wasted. sorry.

Edited January 10, 2013 by fatyeti24

[Rollin45]

I like all stories... So funny and interesting..

But I don't remember any story.. But there are so many stories in my life which are simply strategy..

Edited March 3, 2014 by Rollin45

[Mrs*E*]

2010, Wednesday or Thursday night, i don't recall exactly which. my friend (a member of these pages who will remain nameless unless he wishes to out himself) and I had merrily set about the mephedrone supply. it had only recently been made illegal and i had taken the opportunity to stock up prior to the ban. we had loads and it was uncut.

anyway, at some point in the small hours we ended up at the Rabbit Hole. we danced around for a bit, then my mate needed to lie down. it was coming on strong and he needed a bit of time to ride it out. we found a spot out front, he lay on the grass while i kept an eye on him and chatted to people.

suddenly, all the power went off at the RH. as it was 3 or 4am, we, and everybody else, assumed that was it for the night and the crowds started to wander down towards the Park. i had to stop my mate being trampled as he lay there oblivious in the dark.

a little bit later, though not too long, somebody who worked at the RH came down towards us looking at the floor. he found what he was looking for next to my mate. he picked up the two ends of the cable, reconnected them and the RH sprung back into life: music, lights, the lot.

the crowds turned round and started to head back up the hill towards us, and once again i had to stop my mate being trampled as once again he was oblivious.

so i would like to say this to anyone there that night and particularly to anyone who works at the venue: we didn't mean to disconnect your power supply. indeed we didn't even know that we had. we were just wasted. sorry.

[swede]

Driving into Glasto 2009 for my stag weekend me and my friends were in two cars and we had some walkie talkies with us as one of the drivers had a habit of not following the sat nav and getting lost so we decided it was the quickest way to keep in contact.

One the way in we started getting interference from the security guards frequency and I kid you not we overheard this conversation as we drove in........

Security Guard 1 "Just seen a guy taking a very drunk girl over near the toilets, off to check it out"

Security Guard 2 "Ok, keep me informed"

A couple of minutes silence and then....

Security Guard 1 "Ive found her by herself, just got her sat up against the fence, shes wasted"

Security Guard 2 "Is she hot !, have you tried fingering her "

Security Guard 1 " Thats a negative, I havent tried popping any fingers in the till"

As soon as we heard something as random as that driving in we knew we were in for an unbelievable weekend.

[ivan]

I had agreed to meet my mates friend from home Becks who was going to be on her own that night , at the Cider Bus before Massive Attack in 09 ( i think )

I was with my group of about 10 and we were sat having a beer before wandering over to The Other Stage.

Staring intently at one our group Becks said

"Is your friend on drugs ? "

"No ! , he just does not like Massive Attack " replied one of our group

Graham did not fancy Massive Attack , but did not fancy being on his own , so had done a bottle of brandy during the day to try and improve his mood for trip hop , but it had not worked.

About 1/2 hour into the set Graham walked past us

"Wheres your friend gone ? " Becks said to me

"Back to the tent to kill himself ! " came a reply from our group in the darkness behind us

[4AssedMonkey]

2009 in a long drop near the Park, having a wazz. Guy walks into the stall opposite and starts having a piss himself. Then says to me "Dude, don't cross the streams."

I laughed so hard I pissed down my own leg.

[swede]

2009 in a long drop near the Park, having a wazz. Guy walks into the stall opposite and starts having a piss himself. Then says to me "Dude, don't cross the streams."

I laughed so hard I pissed down my own leg.

Edited April 20, 2013 by swede

[pie_and_a_pint]

2010. Early morning, just waking up. Next door neighbours were four late teen / early twenties hipsters. I overheard:

Guy: OH NO! OH NO!

Girl: What's up?

Guy: I threw up...

Girl: NOT IN THE TENT?! You absolute basta...

Guy: NOOOO! IN MY SHOOOOOES!

Girl: *deadpan* Oh...right...

Guy: FUCK! I've only got one pair!

*silence*

Girl: *matter of factly* Do you want a tangerine?

[Matt42]

Lightly glastonbury related

But today I washed my wellies, still slightly dirty from reading festival mud from last year, and I found a part of a condom stuck under the mud.

Also, washed wellies got me excited, a feeling in my gut was like "It's coming".

[Chimps in Balaclavas]

Bump...