Help me to help my mate..

[Spliffman]

High,

my mate and his gf are going to Glastonbury this year, but. and this is a big BUT!

1- he hates crowds

2- hates going out (even his house)

3- has virtually stoped drinking

4- he's not into music

5- really hates vegitarians

Why is he going you might well ask?

Well a group of us has been going to festivals for years now, and when we always get back we hark on about them all the time. you know the thing tales of fun,sun, cider & bands etc.

My mate has always refused to be any part of it, his gf on the other hand has wanted to go for years.

after last years tales of fun were recalled she said she really really wanted to go..

Several months of her trying to persuede (read nagging) and he finally agreed to go. Result! as long as she arranged the buying of tickets, registration ect.

He basically called her bluff....

He was most miffed to say the least when at 9.30 on ticket day she had bought and payed for 2 tickets and carparking as well..

I keep trying to get him involved but he will not even talk about buying gear he'll need, boots rucksacks etc.

It's getting to the point that he's starting to get the rest of us worried, because we just can not see a way of him having a good time.

Any advice help would be most welcome.

thanks sorry I went on a bit.

[plaskins]

I know somebody who WANTS to go, they'll take the ticket off him.. no problems

[mike99]

High,

my mate and his gf are going to Glastonbury this year, but. and this is a big BUT!

1- he hates crowds

2- hates going out (even his house)

3- has virtually stoped drinking

4- he's not into music

5- really hates vegitarians

Why is he going you might well ask?

Well a group of us has been going to festivals for years now, and when we always get back we hark on about them all the time. you know the thing tales of fun,sun, cider & bands etc.

My mate has always refused to be any part of it, his gf on the other hand has wanted to go for years.

after last years tales of fun were recalled she said she really really wanted to go..

Several months of her trying to persuede (read nagging) and he finally agreed to go. Result! as long as she arranged the buying of tickets, registration ect.

He basically called her bluff....

He was most miffed to say the least when at 9.30 on ticket day she had bought and payed for 2 tickets and carparking as well..

I keep trying to get him involved but he will not even talk about buying gear he'll need, boots rucksacks etc.

It's getting to the point that he's starting to get the rest of us worried, because we just can not see a way of him having a good time.

Any advice help would be most welcome.

thanks sorry I went on a bit.

[ukslim]

Seriously, if everything you say about him is true, he's going to hate it, and spoil it for the rest of you.

Cancel the ticket, get a refund. Someone who'd actually appreciate it will get the ticket in the resales.

My girlfriend would hate Glastonbury for all kinds of reasons, so I go without her. It's best for both of us.

[Androoo]

He sounds like a barrel of laughs. I think you should persuade him to sell his ticket to me!

[FunkyDenz]

From the sounds of it these are all fairly serious issues, which need further exploration in general, not just around Glastonbury. Your mate could possibly be depressed or have agoraphobia.

I'm not sure he will enjoy Glastonbury, and could reduce yours and his GF's enjoyment of Glastonbury, especially if he forces you to take him home on the Thursday.

Explore with your mate what his fears of crowds are, and work through those fears to show that they are baseless.

Support him with building up toleration of crowds.

Remember that Glastonbury is not just about the music. Talk to him about the Green Fields and the Circus Field, showing him pictures and youtube videos of this.

[jeffie]

Drugs.......

[abu hamster]

Dont let him near any acid!

[DORG]

Whats your mates' policy on middle-class hippies?

Id check if I were you, otherwise Glasto might be his one-way ticket to a breakdown.

[The Nal]

Tell him to grow a pair

[Buddhafish]

If he's your mate then why make him do something he clearly doesn't want to do?

[Guest musiclove123]

High,

my mate and his gf are going to Glastonbury this year, but. and this is a big BUT!

1- he hates crowds

2- hates going out (even his house)

3- has virtually stoped drinking

4- he's not into music

5- really hates vegitarians

Why is he going you might well ask?

Well a group of us has been going to festivals for years now, and when we always get back we hark on about them all the time. you know the thing tales of fun,sun, cider & bands etc.

My mate has always refused to be any part of it, his gf on the other hand has wanted to go for years.

after last years tales of fun were recalled she said she really really wanted to go..

Several months of her trying to persuede (read nagging) and he finally agreed to go. Result! as long as she arranged the buying of tickets, registration ect.

He basically called her bluff....

He was most miffed to say the least when at 9.30 on ticket day she had bought and payed for 2 tickets and carparking as well..

I keep trying to get him involved but he will not even talk about buying gear he'll need, boots rucksacks etc.

It's getting to the point that he's starting to get the rest of us worried, because we just can not see a way of him having a good time.

Any advice help would be most welcome.

thanks sorry I went on a bit.

[cejx]

High,

my mate and his gf are going to Glastonbury this year, but. and this is a big BUT!

1- he hates crowds

2- hates going out (even his house)

3- has virtually stoped drinking

4- he's not into music

5- really hates vegitarians

Why is he going you might well ask?

Well a group of us has been going to festivals for years now, and when we always get back we hark on about them all the time. you know the thing tales of fun,sun, cider & bands etc.

My mate has always refused to be any part of it, his gf on the other hand has wanted to go for years.

after last years tales of fun were recalled she said she really really wanted to go..

Several months of her trying to persuede (read nagging) and he finally agreed to go. Result! as long as she arranged the buying of tickets, registration ect.

He basically called her bluff....

He was most miffed to say the least when at 9.30 on ticket day she had bought and payed for 2 tickets and carparking as well..

I keep trying to get him involved but he will not even talk about buying gear he'll need, boots rucksacks etc.

It's getting to the point that he's starting to get the rest of us worried, because we just can not see a way of him having a good time.

Any advice help would be most welcome.

thanks sorry I went on a bit.

[ukslim]

From the sounds of it these are all fairly serious issues, which need further exploration in general, not just around Glastonbury. Your mate could possibly be depressed or have agoraphobia.

[coma girl]

Sounds like he shouldn't be going at all tbh. If you really want him to go how about going to a smallish gig with him soon, see if he can cope with the crowds etc, if he can't then get rid of his ticket asap

[rosstopher]

i would say refund his ticket, he doesnt sound like he would enjoy it at all, and as others have said that would drag you and mates down...

[bob parkhurst]

His girlfriend should just go without him as he'll spoil her time there for certain.

I used to have this problem with my boyfriend all the time, for years I missed out on going to gigs and festivals I really wanted to go to as he wouldn’t budge from his sofa. In the end I just thought sod him, got my own credit card and went to T in the Park with our group of friends without him. This summer I’m going to Evolution in Newcastle, Middlesbrough Music Live, Glastonbury, T in the Park and Leeds with a possibility of Kendal Calling thrown in for good measure without him, it the only way to do it as when he has finally come to a gig/fest with me all he’s done is moan about crowds, prices, sound quality, etc.

[LusciousLucy]

Even though my best mate would love to return to the fest (she came in 02 and loved it), she thought even that was too crowded for her liking...there were only 80,000 tix that year!!! It was the emptiest G I had ever been to.

Our local gang of Glasto goers certainly all tell her that she would utterly hate it now cos of the doubling on crowd numbers and from our descriptions, she accepts she probably wont ever return now

Unless you know how to get around site without hitting crowds (which IS doable but generally only if you know the festy like the back of your hand), it is unlikely your crowd hating chum would be able to handle the fest.

If your mate's gf desperately wants to go, get her to consider who she will be babysitting for most of the fest...she probably wont be out having fun.

My aforementioned mate also went to G03 but had left by 10pm on the Friday night cos the boyfriend she brought along couldnt 'handle it'. She was gutted but felt the silly bf was more important than a stunning weekend with her friends. We never forgave the twat for ruining her efforts and time. Add to that, they went to London instead and the bag containing their Glasto spending money got stolen!

Think about the whole crew's feelings and the possible fallouts that will occur if he goes. Forcing him to go to something it is highly likely he will hate is pointless.

[MrMac]

Yes, from a practical point of view - IF he does go, make sure the travel arrangements are such that nobody will be forced to leave with him if he wants to leave.

[irons]

I'd get a refund for his ticket. See if it's ok for his girlfriend to go along with the rest of you. It sounds like he will hate it, and will probably bring everyone else down with him.

[ivan]

Keep well away from hin , and I would not worry about him , there are worse things happening in

the world that are more important than you fretting about a mate.

Thats his g/f's perogative !

[Guest musiclove123]

High,

my mate and his gf are going to Glastonbury this year, but. and this is a big BUT!

1- he hates crowds

2- hates going out (even his house)

3- has virtually stoped drinking

4- he's not into music

5- really hates vegitarians

Why is he going you might well ask?

Well a group of us has been going to festivals for years now, and when we always get back we hark on about them all the time. you know the thing tales of fun,sun, cider & bands etc.

My mate has always refused to be any part of it, his gf on the other hand has wanted to go for years.

after last years tales of fun were recalled she said she really really wanted to go..

Several months of her trying to persuede (read nagging) and he finally agreed to go. Result! as long as she arranged the buying of tickets, registration ect.

He basically called her bluff....

He was most miffed to say the least when at 9.30 on ticket day she had bought and payed for 2 tickets and carparking as well..

I keep trying to get him involved but he will not even talk about buying gear he'll need, boots rucksacks etc.

It's getting to the point that he's starting to get the rest of us worried, because we just can not see a way of him having a good time.

Any advice help would be most welcome.

thanks sorry I went on a bit.

[irons]

Does he have a problem with anxiety and panic attacks? Sounds like he might from the first two things about him...

[CaptainAcid]

Dont let him near any acid!

[G1T]

Don't make him go.

I got nagged and nagged into going to a festival I really didn't want to go to by some people once, and had a crap time. Still get blamed for being morose at the festival to this day.

You may enjoy it, others may enjoy it, you may all think everyone else should enjoy it, but if he doesn't like that sort of thing, then it's not like he's likely to change his mind when he gets there, especially with the issues you're listed.

The worst one is people saying "well, you just went determined not to have a good time and you didn't", which is such passive aggressive nonsense.

Cancel the ticket and leave the poor chap be to sort his issues out in his own time.